They say that you're a product of the people you surround yourself with and that is very true of me. It just seems that all too often I come across people very much like me (prone) and all to often I have found myself in the predicament where help given is at my own expense, particularly if I'm in a bad place myself. I cannot help but feel that I am supposed to help them in some way though. It's almost been a compulsion since childhood as I cannot bear to see people feeling alone, in need of help and just walk on by. It may sound selfish but I'm coming to the realisation ( in my case any way) that I must look after myself for that is when one can be of the most help to others. It leaves me questioning myself and my motives for helping. If somehow by helping these people I hope to help myself, that I can somehow make something good from my bad experiences by passing on what I've learnt or if altruism actually does exist. It is in my nature to care and look after others and that will never change but being someone who finds it near on impossible to accept direct help I must also look after and help myself too even if that means putting myself first or accepting that I am not the person to be of help, which is a hard thing to do at times.

Do you relate?

I just can't forgive him
Not again

if i had my way i would avoid this forever. But in two weeks ill no longer have anywhere to run.

Something a little Jolly and festive