Oh god, it's all gone wrong.

What have I done?
What can I do?
Oh god, where are you?
Do I cry?
Do I pray?

I don't know what to say.
Am I lost?
Out of time?
Have I finally reached the end of the line?

It's done now, it's over.
It's gone, I'm through.
Is this all that's left of me and you?

Can I simply walk away, knowing that it's all gone gray?

What do I say?

How do I say it was an accident without crying or getting mad?
Cause ******* all, I'm angry!
So angry and so sad.
How I do speak before you and tell you all these things?

All these stories
All these memories
All these lifetimes
All these songs
He'll never get to sing

How do I tell you he was perfect?
Cause he wasn't.

And how do we sit here and say that he was?
Isn't that dishonoring him and his cause?

But no.

We sit here and tell these lies
to make ourselves feel like we weren’t the bad guys
But I sit here as his friend and I tell you
you were wrong.
He hated all of you.
And now he's gone.

He wouldn't want us to be sad.
He'd say, go on, have a party!
He wouldn't want us to cry.

He'd say go on without me.
He wouldn’t have wanted this.
But how could any of you have known that?
He never told you.

So are you bad parents, bad teachers, and bad friends?
For never noticing a child at his wit's end?
No, you're not.

But was I?
Because he told me, and I never batted an eye.

I thought he was joking.
Just having some fun.
Now the jokes not funny.
And it's over for everyone.

So, was it his fault?
Was it yours, was it mine?
I guess we'll never know.

All I know is that he was my friend,
and I wish that he didn’t have to go.

So I sit here, saying sorry, for something I don't believe.
Cause I know him.
I knew him.
Better than any of you.
He wore so many long sleeves.
The world outside his window was incredible to him.
He loved it, and he hated it,
and he called it such a sin.

So now we sit here.
It's not over, but we’d like to think it is.
You'll go home and watch a movie,
maybe cuddle up with friends.

We’d like to think it's over.
We’d like to put it away, but some of us don't have that luxury.
Some of us have to stay.

So tell me.
Who was he? Who is he? Did you know?
Were you his friends and family, or strangers?
We don’t know.

دل میں بس تجھ کو بسا رکھا ہے
لب پے بس تجھ کو سجا رکھا ہے
دیکھ  آ دل کے میکدے میں کبھی
درد ہی درد چھپا رکھا ہے
مجھ کو ویرانیاں ہی بھاتی ہیں
دشت میں ڈیرہ لگا رکھا ہے
بے ثباتی سے واسطہ ہے مرا
ریت کا گھر بھی بنا رکھا ہے
عشق کے رستہ پر خار پے بھی
بوجھ تیرا ہی اٹھا رکھا ہے
آج خود اپنے لہو سے ارسل
بزم میں دیپ جلا رکھا ہے

Ghazal
Dil main bas tujh ko basa Rakha ha
Lab pe bas tujh ko saja Rakha ha
Dekh aa Dil Ke maikaday main Kabhi
Dard hi dard chupa Rakha ha
Mujh ko veeraniyan hi bhaati Hain
Dasht main dera Laga Rakha ha
Bay sabati se waasta ha Mera
Rait ka Ghar BHI bana Rakha ha
Ishq ke Rasta e pur khaar pe BHI
Bojh tera hi utha rakha ha
Aaj khud apnay lahoo se ARSAL
Bazm main deep jala Rakha ha

Allah my dear Lord
everyone wishes me
happy birthday today
though I still ponder when
my mind was born, o my Lord
I wish to thank You nonstop!

I wonder when did You pen
my birth set my destiny on the flow.
Why then - I feel like I saw
the ocean floor was dry on that mo
that very one ocean making drop
didn’t dance, then it didn’t billow!

Maybe because once all that start
be on the move then take a pause
but I wish to thank You nonstop.

There are exceptions like I bumped on
in Your awesome varied creation.
There is one that lives on the grave can’t swallow
You created that endless love time ago
and wrapped in it my soul in the core.
I did my little splash - my debuting first go
rose over the rainbow but sways to a full stop.
Dwarf me now start to realise why the sea below
turns a stand-alone dewdrop on the rose!

Like a broken sleep in the middle of the night comes
the next moment with a broken dream only seen half
and all the memory goes lost with the unseen half.
The nightingale buzzed up singing on the new dawns
on my memory lane though was yet to bloom a rose!  

The first light paints heaven on earth so clement  
retouch it just to blow it onto the rose you can.
Shines a light on the move dip in the polished angle
picturesque beauty unleashes amid the day’s sunny show
one more punter basks in it gets two more eyeballs.
The cutie that was yet to pop in the shining galore
stays in the fence cutting all the corner gets in the loop
and the sun showers its balmy blue light on this Moon!

One world scattered across the board
deep in the water is a one connected dot.  
One endlessly variant one ever-fluid on diverse flow
embarked timeless time ago yet that's on the row.
Off to the half-seen dream my day lo
entering the twilight zone, it sets on the go.
Yet to live the mo, no rope no continual binary code
up to the dream when can I ever draw O my Lord!

Help me, when You do that I can see the magic
even when blowing the husk off a small seed
rainbow laces blow out opening the arch of blue sky
the small patch of land I touchdown turns to gold dust
what crosses in my mind then is any one’s lucky catch!

Eying on that endless love that took my dream away
Paradise the butterfly on its wings is ever on the fly.
Punting down the serene shadow of heaven all the stars
confluence for the final constellation on their highway
dwarf I though yet to act on the meaning of my dream
thanks to You let me share with those larks my script.
Wish comes true may their lips break into smiles
their sky wall keyhole to open stupendous painterly spirals.
Raise me high on the tangent dear Lord I am running dry
pour me Your potion of mercy in my dew splash sea of elixir
so I can break my fast sipping that o my Lord no one dies!