i wake up,
drenched in lucid dreaming
trying to hallucinate you in my room
holding buttercups under my chin
to resemble the gold in your eyes
and i’m reminiscent
of a time when peach meant
holding hands in your living room
and the specks of dust would
encircle us as though everything
was trying to show us happiness
and its various forms and so i
held your hand and we danced and
the peach curtains lit up the room.
it was your favourite in the whole
house and i remember how happy
you would get when the sunlight
poured in like flash floods.
i am drenched in lucid dreaming
reminiscent of a time when you took
my hand to hold it;
not to say goodbye.

When the light was hot, your words made them ache so, cry more
sacred how you know the hours that suit you, call for matching gleam
not that far, we could sit in the cold window’s sunshine late
when you have God’s trance like hold of my prayers in your voice
I wonder what it is you have in your eyes

leather older than my mind, sulking up
in the summer beside your soul is like a novel,
beautifully torn into pages with sweet expressions
Way it has to be, just the way it has to be
when cool is your gun on my heart
that’s your affection, it can have
it’s take on me, that’s all
but stone doesn’t get much of a hit, so do what you want
I’ll wait like summer winds in winters go, that millions of days, more

When you put up the volume of what was playing all along
burning through dreams, the cigarettes of talking,
this smoke could really get me there
fortune has always been mine, night belongs to me too
tonight that’s what I’ll give you, laughter of stars,
dense midnight sulked mind, just what you like
don’t deprive your own dose of silver goodness,
that walk too, whatever you say is my needed blindness
Jesus Christ reminiscent

now there’s high skies, on the same side as music - yes here it’s heaven,
soul’s dwelling is what I’ve found in you, that’s all I know, all I need to know
alone, when I was telling you it, I was alone as the lightening you got at the heart,
now don’t make me wait in the garden, each of our meetings the rains of flourishing,
here denying all but that haven of your ways, now be my way

we put in everything we had

water

warmth

kept it in the nicest places- where it could feel the gentle heat of the sun

the light wash of rain





we tried

we really ******* tried.





you have to realise, darling,

no matter how much you try to foster it

an artificial plant will not grow.

it isn’t alive.



                                                       ­      it isn’t r e a l.

[artificial plant]

I sat beneath the tree of me
its sheltering boughs spread wide.
Catching the afternoon sunlight on
hoary green leaves.

I sat beneath the tree of me
it's twisted, gnarled trunk stood strong,
Scarred by initials crossed out.
It's gooey sap ebbing and flowing to
the erratic beat of my own heart

I sat beneath the tree of me
thirty two rings, some thick, more lean.
A centre core, a maypole of happiness and
not

I sat beneath the tree of me
cradled by roots dug deep.
wispy wind wiggling my hair
comfort in all of me

I sit beneath my ageing tree
on a blanket far too large.
"You're welcome" I'd say to passersby
to sit with me a while.

Your fingertips cascade softly like silk against my skin, and your breath is warm; invading the nape of my neck with muffled desire.
I cannot forget the way you smell, and the texture of your deep golden hair.
Brassy locks resting against my palm.
Those deep blue pools I submerge myself in never fail to swallow me whole.
I can only touch you in dreams, hold you in dreams.