some days suffuse
with dirtied grey
scream through
stain of shrapnel's
gaudy glint

for though each year
may roll on by
like so much dice
cast rashly down
in reckless haste

and tensions build
in East and West
North and South
from Sea to Earth
on worn-out board

we need not fear
for garments tattered
stained and torn
are merely coats
and we are safe

within the folds
of One who cares
in pinions' lift
we can rejoice
remain unbowed

though we dread
a final strike
if breath is taken
on this flight
take heart

for true One knows
does see it all
has limits sure
for what takes place
at curtain call

as mankind's
freed through
hard-paid Gift
a price so steep
his Son bled true

so all who mourn
their stolen days
regale earth's plight
with aching sigh -
might breathe

stand tall with
upturned faces see
time's running out
for Puppeteers
all sordid stench

and soon eternal
peace will come
not just within
but everywhere
relief

take heart

What is a black day?
It's when both the sun and the clouds disappear
So all that's left in the day time when you reach upwards
Is a sad, empty atmosphere.

Days when it feels like I forget how to talk properly
Where my head hurts for no reason
Days where almost
Every
Voice
That calls my name sounds like another punch in the gut

That kinda day

Sometimes a black day turns into a black week...

Black month....

You have these black days too, we all do to an extent.
Part of being human.

But the problem with a black day is the black night that follows
A left for dead entrapment of thoughts that barrel
And barrel
                   And barrel
                                       And barrel
Around in a constant loop.
                  
                                        ­                                          I'm not him

But now I tell you, nay promise
My black days will no longer conquer me
No longer conquer you.

In a day like so, look deeper into that black.
Deeper beyond our sad, empty atmosphere there's stars.
Warm                                 beautiful                                      stars
Stars with perhaps another blue marble else where
With perhaps someone staring back, in their black day.
Past their own sad, empty atmosphere.


An interstaller connection
So I ask for a suspension
Of disbelief
A relief
Knowing that underneath every chest beats a heart,
a heart that has black days
But beats on,  none the less
So, beat on.

Let the black days come and go
Let the stars; hearts beyond ours,  help you; me
Let the past be left alone
Let loose ends be tied
Let that which hurts never be touched again, but learn.

Learn that I will help you paint new clouds, new sun into your empty atmosphere. Help you gather the brushes, pour out the paint.
So that my black days are less empty, so that you can help me paint my sun.
And so that your black days have more color.

I’ve always had a hard time letting go
I grab and grasp
shoving things into my oversized heart
Stuffed animals and old friends
Children’s books and unrequited crushes
Dead dogs and old drawings
Ignoring the pain I know this attachment will bring
Some part of me knows:
I’ll never see my camp friends again
I’ll never date the person I like
I’ll never love these books as much as I did
I’ll never get my dogs back by holding on
But the rest of me, desperately
grasps and holds, crying out that
“If you hold on, they can’t leave!
It will be normal again.”
but that’s wrong
as my best friend pointed out last night
(even though she just meant it for one thing, she was still right)
nothing can be normal again,
after decisions I’ve made,
things that have happened
even if I try
So instead, I’ll try to take her advice
I’ll let go
It’s hard to abandon the people and things
you once loved so dearly
but holding on this long has only brought pain
so, finally
I’m letting go