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Cerasium Mar 2020
Take this glue
And seal my heart
Fix the cracks
Which are leaking black

Save my soul
From rotting away
This pain is becoming
Unbearably real

My love is too strong
To just vanish like you want
It’s like a fire burning
Threatening to turn into ash

Place your hand
Upon my heart
And feel the blaze
That still remains

Growing stronger
With each passing day
I beg my heart
To stop this display

But to my dismay
It doesn’t listen
It does what it wants
Even if it causes pain

I beg and I plead
For this agony to end
For my suffering to stop
But it will never come

I try to distract myself
Distract my heart and mind
Put them on something else
Anything at all

But you always seem
To come crawling in
Setting my heart ablaze
And my mind turns dark

My love for you
Won’t stop growing
No matter how hard I try
My mind can’t stop it

The heart wants what the heart wants
Or at least that’s how the saying goes
But right now it feels like all it wants
Is to destroy itself through endless suffering

With just a simple flutter of a thought
My day could turn from the happiest I’ve had
To the darkest in which I dread
Begging for the end of time

Oh how I miss our talks
I miss waking up to you
I miss you holding me as I fall asleep
Feeling safe from the night terrors that creep

I miss the way you smiled
When you looked my way
The way you joked around
To cheer me up on a rainy day

I miss the comfort you gave me
The laughs we shared
The embraces that kept me warm inside
Warning the darkness to step aside

But now I’m alone
There is no safety
I’m terrified to sleep
And even more so to wake

This feeling inside me
Grows stronger and stronger
I don’t know how much more I can take
Before this life is pushed to the end

When I get excited
I instinctively turn my head
Thinking you are still by my side
But then I see there’s no one there

I stare at the empty spot on my bed
The one that you use to fill
And tears start to fall
As I lose all self control

The tears that burn so much
Like acid drops on my skin
The tightness of my chest
The aching in my heart

I end up in a ball
Crying out to the Gods of old
Pleading for mercy
From this cruel fate

Pleading with all my heart
For just one more chance
To make it right
In exchange for my soul
alexa Mar 2020
last night i begged and pleaded with you for hours,

tried telling you that i deserved to bloom like a flower.

i’ve never asked you to save me,

but now i’m asking you nicely.

please, let me be happy,

and please, i beg of you, let it be for me.

amen.
im tired of being superficially happy. or it being temporary. what did i do wrong? why can i not get this one thing?
Rebeca Mar 2020
Let me cry my pain away,
Oh, sweet rain,
Sweet rain...
Let me turn back into clay,
Let me wilter in decay,
Please, sweet rain,
Sweet rain...
Let me die today.
Madelle Calayag Mar 2020
'Can you explain to me what has become of us?'
the song continued
as if it was played to hurt me on that evening ride.

'not even pleading can save us'
the lyrics echoed  in my mind
it haunted me as I cried myself to sleep

I closed my eyes,
yet thousands of questions deprived me from my sleep
like what happened to the both of us?
can we get back?
did I fail to love you?
did I fail to recognize that we're falling apart?
was I not enough?

But no matter how much songs would I play
no exact lyrics can answer the queries
you've left in my broken soul
Cerasium Feb 2020
With each passing day
The light inside me dies
Surrounding me in eternal darkness
And snuffing out any form of happiness

I beg and I plead for relief
But it never comes
It only gets worse
And I can’t take it anymore

I love him with every fiber of my being
Yet nothing I say or do matters
It’s like he doesn’t care anymore
And I’m tired of this pain

I try and I try
To hide all of it
From his gaze
But I can’t hide forever

He says he still cares for me a lot
But honestly with his actions
It speaks the opposite
I just wish he would speak the truth

Speak from your heart
Don’t hide anything
Let it all out
Just like I have done

Lay your very soul
Upon the table bare
So we can finally understand
One another’s feelings

I fear that I don’t have much left
My will is slowly fading
I’ve already reverted back to self harm
Soon it will start to get worse

My heart will start to decay
Turning off all care for life
I will constantly be fighting
My darkest of thoughts

Thoughts that I haven’t had
Since I was a teenager
Thoughts that I could suppress
Just by looking at him

Seeing his dorky grin
The smell of his skin
The gentleness of his touch
The love in his eyes

These things made me so happy
That I couldn’t think like that
I didn’t want to think like that
All I cared about was being with him

Now I have mixed feelings
Feelings of betrayal and fear
Of longing and anger
Of love and regret

I know he won’t talk
Cause every time we try
It just makes it works
Cause he won’t say anything

I ask if things will be okay
I ask if I will ever be with him again
But all he says is give it time
And I see no love in his eyes

I see no more longing
No more want
No more pleading
Just vacant eyes staring back

I start to ponder
If I was ever good enough
If I will ever make it through this
Will I ever be happy again

But with how things are going
I doubt I will ever be happy
My heart is in so much pain
I feel like I’m dying

And it’s only getting worse
With each passing day
So I beg of you
Just talk to me one last time

Let everything out
Don’t hold back
There is so much to say
That you try and hide
Madelle Calayag Jan 2020
I talked to Him
about you,
about us…
of how we’re facing the battles that I saw in my dreams.
I asked Him
to gear you up
and prepare you for the ‘tougher ones'.
Things may get difficult,
confusion will arise to the people
who may also get offended
or saddened with my sudden decisions.
I may get to face their criticisms
and avoid their inquisitive stares.
And answer the questions
that none of us chose to talk about.
I pleaded
that He may grant us the gift
of healing
and acceptance.
Orchid T Aspen Dec 2019
He prowls,
loose and deadly,
fears,
light and hungry.

But they don't tell him,
NO,
they don't tell
if they're laughing
or crying.

(Aren't they moving their mouths?)

He pleads,
flailing,
wanting to fail,
but he warns them, still,

(Why aren't you afraid?)

they don't stop him.

He should run,
save them.

(Please listen!)

He can't,
and black shields him.

(Stop hurting me.)

Void and
blinding
and gone,

he stands,
towers.

(Don't look at me.)

There are strands
on his fingers,
pulling the bones,
digging,
gripping,

touching,

(Tasting?)

next to nothing
around him,
and black pierces,
picks him.

(Where did they go?)

He hears them part,
then gnashes them,
gnaws them,
his snarls beg from them,

(Where did you go?)

and it panics,
urges,
burrows
in skin

(Get out of my ears.)

They sicken his eyes,
cover them,
throw them,

(Get out of my ears.)

sense leaves him with nothing.
As nothing,
he stands,

(Move.)

he prowls,

(Move.)

loose,

(Move me.)

deadly,

(Make me.)

and fears,

(Warn me!)

light,

(Me.)

and hungry.


;Narcissist.
Orchid T Aspen Dec 2019
If I could save even one person, maybe I would speak.

、、、、

Her flesh wrapped around her like kudzu on a tree, parasitically engaged in what others yearned for.

If you can't rely on blood, who do you have left?

So I stayed. Because no one would come near. How kind she was. How gracious and loving and loved.

、、、、

Her skin became cold. The very ***** dedicated to masking her advanced structure became like a marble slab left in the snow. That flesh that cradled her meaningless meanings hardened like the exoskeletons she imitated.

She was an insect through and through.

、、、、

And even if cold was the absence of heat, the left-behind contraband someone else came to cherish, she emanated the very invasion that enveloped her.

She radiated her icy salvation.

、、、、

And so when the time came that I was able to touch her...
When it was upon my own flesh I would feel what she refused to feel, she grasped onto me.

As if she longed to drag me into her abyss with one last throe, one last labor of love for her blood.

、、、、

My fingers never fell off, but I was frost bitten. My organs never failed, but I was shredded apart by the sting of the sobbing wind.

、、、、

I didn't become her marble carcass like I should have.

、、、、

She didn't take me with her.

I couldn't save her anymore.

Not even if I had devoted my life to doing so. Never again. She left me behind, and I was cold too.

、、、、

My skin is not chilled to the touch. My muscles are not the remnants of a frozen cicada shell. My skeleton is not made of the icicles left to melt in the sun's triumph.

My tendons ache in the wake of an ancient breeze that blew by far too late.

、、、、

I am not a slab of cold marble.

、、、、

I am a starkly darkened visage to behold and not be held, forever turning over and over,
never ceasing and always yearning for that which never was, and that which will never be.

I was only for their sake. Never mine, even if I pretended.

、、、、

This endless daydream that expands before and behind me, that twists in tendrils that are deplorably mine and

soak in the oily water that inisists on being my keeper... I will not let go of the ribcage it offers to my grasping hands.

I will bear who I am. I am my sickness.

、、、、

I will plunge into the needy and engorged expanse of shifting flowers and lodged viscera.

I will continue to encase and cease.

、、、、

Forever in my head.
Forever in my skull. Forever tapping in my cage. Forever clipping my scrawny wings. Forever sincere.

、、、、

I loved her, and I couldn't
save her.

She was dead, and I couldn't save her.

She was alive, and I couldn't save her.

、、、、

What remains?
Irreparable me.
Makenzie Marie Mar 2019
Father,
I know you’re listening:
Please, lift me.

Hosanna
Blessed are Ye.
Please, save me.
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