There was a time when you and I had not seen ourselves in mirrors
Before we knew what we looked like
Before we knew how we feel at all
A time before I knew how my body would work
Most months rusty water drains
A packet of small white circular tablets coated in sugar is responsible for my happiness
I imagine my ****** is the colour of a faded flannel cloth
Red used to be my favourite colour
On many occasions My body has felt like a new years resolution.

Your sweat reminded me of rainbows in petrol
It tasted like the sea.

She stares at the walls which encompass her life
Unsure why she can’t run through them at night
There she sits for countless years
Only to be kept prisoner by her deepest fears

She carries herself like a book with a smile
Judged by the cover, they all want a trial
Yet she’s bound tight by glittering stitches
To hide all of her unhinged glitches

She cannot keep still for half of a second
Dreading the moments she hears a small beckon
Left alone in the mind of a girl
Whose thoughts are dangerous when unfurled

She sees lovers dancing, living in dreams
Not all in this world is what is seems
You ask this girl what’s on her mind: she lies
For all she can do is deny

She carries burdens further every day
Unsure who will let her stay
Focus, let it all be clear
Then drown it out with another beer

She’s not certain who there is left to trust
In a life filled with unwavering lust
Pop another pill, smoke another stick
Anything to lessen the weight of bricks

She stares at these four walls and wants a door
Instead she lies down on the floor
All of these secrets kept inside bars
Filled with loud base and red guitars

She wanders these streets, quiet and obsolete
Who will be next on this long list of cheats
Cold whiskey, bright eyes, and stiletto knives
Where to go next in this web of lies

She floats out of her cage, up to the stars
Leaving the ***** and a hole in her yard
Bury the past, leave behind the secrets
Along with her heart, so no one can take it

She paints her road with glitter and oils
Maybe someday she’ll even be royal
But leave it with this much that will remain true
She’ll never be coming back for you.

I know youve moved on and sadly its without me~
Even thou thats not how it was  intened to be...

We had so much fun when we were together...
Doesnt matter now but i wanted you to be here forever...

I loved to cook and make food for you ...
I didnt even get to make the best dishes like i wanted to...

I hate that you and I dont talk anymore...
Not when you Become another person....
I dont like that and want that no more.

I want to talk to YOU.....
like we used to do.....


But I know you never will


and Im trying but its so hard to swallow that pill!!!

I put on another dress
I apply another coat of blush
I curl my hair perfectly
     I look like a dream

I take another pill
I pour another glass
I pull out a razor
     I hurt like a nightmare

I tell another joke
I give another kiss
I smile till I forget
     I fake like an actor

If they
could hear
the voices
inside of my
head
I'm sure
I'd be locked
away
quicker than
you could ever
imagine.
No one
understands
my little
quirks,
they don't
find my
ideas
amusing,
they'd rather
shove a pill
down my
throat,
and call me
normal.
-JRM

I get up every morning
Then I bleed
From where?
You wouldn't want to know!
It hurts and hurts
I take a pill or two to ease the pain
But then I soak in the tub with warm water by dissolving a salt in it
I sit in it for five minutes
While it reduces the irritation
It reduces the pain

I lost my mother a long time ago.
But you see, she is still breathing.
Still here.
But is she alive?

Bottles of wine stack up,
one by one,
on top of broken promises.

Pills are disappearing
but we all know
where they go.

"You call yourself a poet? A writer?" You said to me,
last night after I told you
how I feel.

So the poems I left for you,
I took away.
The book I've been working on,
I took away.

You said it four times.
The first time, I didn't actually believe you did.
The second time, my eyes ran cold.
The third time, I walked out the door.

The forth time, I realized you weren't
my mother.

Happy little pill,
I need you so
To take away my pain
To try to keep me sane
Show me the right way
I'll consume you everyday

Happy little pill,
Numb my heart
Dry my eyes
Bring dancing colors to my skies
'cause all I see is grey
Fill my mouth with the truth I want to say

Happy little pill,
Promise me your intention is not to ****
Free my mind from their empty hearts,empty eyes,set me free from their lies
Give me the ease from this world so cold
My soul's still not sold for******* and gold

Happy little pill,
Our friendship is real
But I shouldn't take another one
Yet I know I will,I know I will
I'll take one for me
And one for you
One for everything I couldn't do
One for what was and for wasn't
What the hell,I'll take two dozen

Happy little pill,
Take me away
Mend my smashed heart
I love your bittersweet taste
When my mind goes to waste

Happy little pill,
You are the one I need
I want you my greedy soul to feed
Set me free from all the things I did
Take me to my eternal bed,dirt will be so cold and wet
It's my new home,2 foot wide and 6 foot deep
Happy little pill you'll be the only one to weep