For me, every moment of contentment
is often followed by the realization
of having a lack of either ambition
or the means or ability to achieve it.
And though I can live with the lack of both.
I often wonder
why do we feel the need to be validated
by some measure,
by some reason,
to belong in one of the circles
that the world is divided into.
When we end up questioning our self,
“Who would be actually there for me
if not for the pieces of me
that I am feeding them everyday?”

The hellish conditions I lived through last year
All the sad truth in painful lessons I was shown
Each one took a piece of my happiness
Because of the dark my heart has grown

I never wanted to beg you to stay,
Or for it to come to this at all,
I wanted to be strong and cold.
But instead I lie in the dark
Scared that if you leave
A part of me will go with you.
But the train went off track
And unfortunately it seems
That there may be no turning back.
I didn’t expect our pieces
To be mixed up and broken,
I thought we would be one.
Now I greatly fear that this piece
Won’t ever returnLeaving me shattered on the floor.
I never wanted to beg you to stay,
But if you go
I want that piece of me back.

A question that always running through my mind.
I s he the one?
Would he love me forever?
Would he stay?
Those are the questions that makes me anxious.

I know he love's me,
but is it enough?
What if he gets tired of loving me?
does he really love me?
What am I supposed to do?

A person may fall in love a hundred times,
but they fall for the right person ones.
Prayers, hopes and wishes
When can this be true?
Some of them work,
some of them not.

**** for the always anxious side of me
Maybe I didn't notice what I see.
Maybe he truly loves me.
I don't know, I can't be the woman he wishes for,
but I'm trying my very best to be me.

...
And in that moment I realized
Her pieces shatter more quickly
Than she can glue them together
And in between the broken seconds
That her universe is in chaos
Those pieces of her soul
Break down to mere dust
And float away in the winds
Of what once was
Joined by the false notion
That her future could be brighter
If only
She gathered her pieces
A little faster.