The hellish conditions I lived through last year
All the sad truth in painful lessons I was shown
Each one took a piece of my happiness
Because of the dark my heart has grown

I never wanted to beg you to stay,
Or for it to come to this at all,
I wanted to be strong and cold.
But instead I lie in the dark
Scared that if you leave
A part of me will go with you.
But the train went off track
And unfortunately it seems
That there may be no turning back.
I didn’t expect our pieces
To be mixed up and broken,
I thought we would be one.
Now I greatly fear that this piece
Won’t ever returnLeaving me shattered on the floor.
I never wanted to beg you to stay,
But if you go
I want that piece of me back.

A question that always running through my mind.
I s he the one?
Would he love me forever?
Would he stay?
Those are the questions that makes me anxious.

I know he love's me,
but is it enough?
What if he gets tired of loving me?
does he really love me?
What am I supposed to do?

A person may fall in love a hundred times,
but they fall for the right person ones.
Prayers, hopes and wishes
When can this be true?
Some of them work,
some of them not.

**** for the always anxious side of me
Maybe I didn't notice what I see.
Maybe he truly loves me.
I don't know, I can't be the woman he wishes for,
but I'm trying my very best to be me.

...
And in that moment I realized
Her pieces shatter more quickly
Than she can glue them together
And in between the broken seconds
That her universe is in chaos
Those pieces of her soul
Break down to mere dust
And float away in the winds
Of what once was
Joined by the false notion
That her future could be brighter
If only
She gathered her pieces
A little faster.

Come on, you’ve had that thought, that where do I fit in life
I have these crazy dreams, I’m not me but watching through somebody else’s eye
You’re on a bridge in Bristol looking over yonder at a place of make believe
It could be anywhere in your mind and then pops up your mate Steve (hi dream Steve, what you are doing here?)

Yes, you dream all sorts of mad cap ideas which even you don’t understand
But somewhere, in that messed up head of yours, is an idea, so impulsive, so magnificent, so world changing and yet so grand
Dig it out, you know you can, its hiding around a corner just waiting to be unleashed
If it escapes, capture it, feed it, calm it and this my friend will help you on your own two feet

You think I’m crazy? Yeah, probably
But you’re only here once, don’t put it off, this is that lost cog
McCartney dreamt up Let it Be and look what happened to him
Multi-millionaire, annoying as hell, married a one-legged ex *******, no sorry, don’t be like him

But they come, flittering and fluttering whilst disappearing in a jiffy
Those thoughts of ideas, you could change the world, just one of them a gimme
The wheel, the thread, the wind-up radio
Pull it out of that deep dark hole in your brain and there you have it, sold

Now don’t read the rest of this, you’ve got ideas to ignite
Hand that notice in, bye-bye awful boss, its time for me to take flight

As I am that lost cog

JJB