She wakes up with a shock, instantly feels the blood boil from her head down to her toes. Its the sound of that door.
The repetitive sound of that door slamming is a reminder of the poison in her life who seamlessly seeps into her heart continuing to infuse her mind with hate.
That door is used for a swinging entrance into her soul leaving it with touches of darkness until she simply can't understand how to love another person; how to empathize with another's time of distress. She loses touch, suffering to understand what love is.
The life who uses that door brought her into this world and smothers their existence with cold truths, lies, neglect, and stories of their past; inflicting damaging images and thoughts that cannot be unheard.
She's trying to persevere, but they persist to acknowledge their unreceptive response to her cry's for help, it destroys her light; leading her down the path where the poison starts to consume all her thoughts and distorts her rights to express herself with the constant feeling of never being heard.
You built darkness in her and every layer affects even the smallest of challenges in life but you left her with a flame of curiosity to understand what others could not even care to comprehend; she sustains her curiosity for life.
For me, every moment of contentment is often followed by the realization of having a lack of either ambition or the means or ability to achieve it. And though I can live with the lack of both. I often wonder why do we feel the need to be validated by some measure, by some reason, to belong in one of the circles that the world is divided into. When we end up questioning our self, “Who would be actually there for me if not for the pieces of me that I am feeding them everyday?”
a whir heard at work and when the lit end of a cigarette burns. the trees are dead and yet the doors are still open. an atrocious haircut such a misfortune. hook nose talks to ill-fitting jeans, tender child shattering scream. and I will not recall standing here in my twenties. a boy will converse with me and I realise that humanity is generally friendly realise that hate and envy are probably just pretending. he drinks the water and for a second I imagine kissing aren't we all pretending? how can you validate an emotion that lurks on a spectrum with no shared connection?