Speak, child, Speak.
For I try to help,
with what I do not know.

Tell, brother, Tell.
What I can do,
to stop the pain you feel.

Scream, sister, Scream.
At me for all the things,
I have done you wrong.

Say, dear, Say.
Things to my identity,
So I can hear what is deserved.

Speak, child, Speak.
For I cannot help,
with what I do not know.

I dreamt that wax
sqeezed out from my ears
like toothpaste.
Dripped onto my feet
casting a mold.
Statuing my legs.
Zipping up my hips.
I dreamt my throat
was a metal pipe
running dry.
Vibrating echoes
cut short and
replaced with a dusty ellipsis.

Passively shrinking
inside a shell
that I'll never be
strong enough to crack.

How did this happen?
How did the thing we're made of
become the thing to **** us?

I am a ragdoll cat.
Docile and placid, I bend
to your touch, my silky fur invites
your inquisitive fingers.

Easy come, easy go.
My claws are only for show.
Bred for affection, I'm
the perfect pet. I'll follow you
wherever you go.

But the thing about ragdoll cats is
when danger is near, we do not know.
We see predators the same as friends
because it's in our nature
to go with the flow.

Too many times, I've been ripped to shreds,
been tossed around and thrown
to the wolves.
When I land on my feet and lick my wounds,
I go right back to being a ragdoll.

Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
All of the masses
Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
Till they all become passive

Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
So they know longer have voices
Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
Till they no longer have choices

Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
Let them all become sheep
Keep them drugged, keep them drugged
Till their all nice and meek

With their drug addled mind
Their own thoughts will be hard to find
Then we'll input thoughts that are ours
For we are the great and mighty powers
We will tell them we know what's best
Not just for them but all of the rest

Like Sheppards to sheep we'll guide them along
And they will continue to sing our programmed happy song

For when the world starts to come to an end
We'll keep them drugged and tell them we are their friends
For when that day comes we'll shake and we'll sift
Pick out the good ones, drive the rest off a cliff

She said:

“I really wish things were different
I’m so tired of living like this
Too many things wrong in the world
All of them in the way of my bliss.

If only things were better
If only things were fair
Then I could find my happiness
And finally lose my despair.

Won’t someone take charge?
Won’t someone help me out?
You’d think someone would be willing
But someone keeps letting me down.

I said:

“Go stand in front of a mirror,
Look closely at what you see,
I’d like to introduce you to
The someone you’ve been waiting to meet.

Someone who can do all that you asked
And then a little more
Change is something that you do,
Not something you wait for.”

and it's taken me two years but I think I finally get it
it wasn't the forced laughter or the radio silence
it wasn't that every time I needed you, you never picked up your phone
too busy talking to God as usual
while I was screaming his ear off about you
you
and your white teeth and ambiguous intentions
you caught me numb on your kitchen floor
laughing in your old clothes when we're alone together praying that this time this side of you would stay
and for once you do
until there's someone new to impress or I just need to talk to someone at 1am
apathetic until something in the way of my being applies to you
and just like a kid you'll sit me down line our pieces up and try to convince me we're the same
you shoved the pieces that wouldn't quite fall into place under the couch and color coordinated and combined with no true knowledge of the picture
just like a little kid hell bent trying to please a parent
you tried to fit your life in mine but you never quite realized that I am not a puzzle and you are not a part of me
and it's taken me two years but I think I can let you go
I'm done driving to your house
I'm done watching you on social media intently trying to understand who you are and why the hell you do what you do
and it's been two whole years of passive aggressive talk contrasting quiet afternoons on your floor or blue nights spent driving around the city
it was below thirty but you let me roll my window down and so I could breathe the frigid air and tangle my wrists in the power lines
it all boils down to a simple statement:
you were there until you weren't
until it didn't revolve around you
you didn't want a friend you wanted an adventure like the pictures you pin on your wall
like the mindless **** you fill your head with to appear tragic and interesting
and I understood when you brought your new friends to my birthday
unannounced
uninvited
cold
and I saw pictures the next day of them in all of the places we used to frequent in the summer when I gave up on substance and just wanted someone to be with
and I know that the world belongs to everyone
but those nights belonged to us
quiet
secret
hot blue in a sea of navy and gold
like words whispered into a lover's shoulder
and when I saw the pictures I just kind of knew
that you never understood a ******* word of anything I said when I talked about how moments like these inevitability fall through or the cracks of existence or whatever
and you left early because they wanted to go and I smiled and said it was fine
you didn't get it
but I think I do now
it's only taken me a couple years or so.

Why trick me?
You're smarter than that,
You know lies are transparent.
I know what you're doing, I allow it to happen.
But I sit back and write this,
Rather than push you.
Because I'd like for this not to be my responsibility.
I'd like to avoid being the one to break you.