you never know how long
you have them for

experiencing a loss
so close to home
so recently
every visit becomes precious
an event on it's own

trying to make sense
of a life already spent
while trying to paint a future
of alone

and I wonder if
it will ever be me
waiting for a phone to ring
someone to call round
for tea

I sit with my dad
in a house full of dreams
that perhaps
were never fulfilled
for either him or me

you should've never become a mother

~haylin

land of hills and fog,
moss covered forest and a
cottage in the dark



Please, oh please, lamenting weep,
please, don’t take my baby from me.
Within the woods and through the trees,
on the hills, I’m on my knees.
Please don’t take my baby from me.


Frigid sweat runs down her forehead
and she whimpers from her shivering chest.
Tried my best to sing her to sleep
but there is blood in these lullabies.

Her coughs are like shattered glass from her throat,
and her painful wails in these walls echo.
And though I wish this was all a dream,
I heard from the woods the old rallying cry.

I lie on the bed and clutch my child
and pray her soul keeps clear of the wild.
I bridle my tears so her armour’s not weak,
though in my heart it’s becoming a lie.

Please, I beg you, don’t take her away,
she was only just born the other day.
Let her step on the stones, let her be free,
let her remain, keep her alive.


Please, oh please, lamenting weep,
please, don’t take my baby from me.
Within the woods and through the trees,
on the hills, I’m on my knees.
Please don’t take my baby from me.


-
by Aleksander Mielnikow | Alek the Poet

There's this weight I carry
It's heavy and exhausting
It's beautiful, and quite daring

It yanks me down more times than I can count
Squeezes, punches, and pushes every last nerve
But it's perfect on every account

It's the hardest, most difficult weight I've ever carried
Full of kicks and screams and fits
But it's something I refuse to burry

I could walk away and live a different life
I could be weightless and free
But this weight is worth more than my own life

So I will pull it up over ranges of mountains
I will piggy back it over every raging sea
And if anyone tries to harm it, I would **** thousands

It's the most precious cargo I could ever own
It's the only I can ever have
So I choose to carry it and to never be alone

For its weight brings me great joy
And the warmth is overwhelming
So I hold tight and hold strong and enjoy

For the terrain will mellow down
And it will not always be this heavy
So this weight I hold with love, and in it I drowne.

Since the day you were born we knew you were perfect
Your eyes were bright blue and your hair wispy curls
We had guessed what you’d look like and then out you came
Our perfect baby exactly as planned.

Since the day you were born we knew you were perfect
And look at you now you’re incredibly bright
You work till exhaustion and that we admire
You’re seemingly perfect at all that you do

Since the day you were born we knew you were perfect
If only your brother would follow your lead
We just want him to have your motivation
How do you think we should help him succeed?

Since the day you were born we knew you were perfect
If only I had that body of yours
If only I had those arms and that stomach
But I could never be as perfect as you.

Since the day you were born we knew you were perfect
Why do you insist that you aren't my dear?
We all get upset but no you aren’t sick love
You are too perfect to hate yourself.

You are too perfect to see any faults
You are too perfect to cry to sleep.
Your life is perfect.
We knew you were perfect.
So be perfect for me dear, and go dry those eyes.

When I wake up in the morning, you’re the first thing that’s on my mind.
I get out of bed, stretch real good, & yawn real loud so that you can hear me breathing.
I rush to the bathroom, quickly brush my teeth, wash my face, & run straight for you.
Running down the hallway, staring at your door, only to open it slowly to see if you’re awake.
I peek my head around the corner...
You’re eyes open as they lock onto mines with such joy.
Happiness appears on your face, reaching out for me.
Happiness upon my face, as my heart skips a beat.
Amazed with such excitement, I run as fast as I can screaming out a laugher.
We hug & kiss knowing that’s one of my favorite things.
When I wake up in the morning, our first words are:
—“I love you mommy”
—“I love baby”

It’s okay that you never put me first
Because I will
It’s okay that you never let go
Because I will

Someday you’ll be someone that I once knew
Someone who someday might become someone that’s worth it to know
But I will never
Know that it could have been great
You and me; imagine that
For now; it’s been too late
I was worth it, you know
You held onto your pride and me; you let go

It’s okay, though
I forgive you
And maybe someday
Even today
I’ll miss you