i hope one day your teeth drip with
the taste of your own cruelty

one day you choke
on the fog of your own anger

i hope one day your fingers dangle
slick with pain and regret

regret

i hope one day you r e g r e t

I cried for you today,
Because you come and never stay,
The day you left and went away,
I can't remember hearing you say,
I love you so,
Can't let you go,
I'm sure that you know,
How painful it is to see the snow,
To drive by where we said goodbye,
We'll never know the reasons why,
We just feel the void but know you fly,
Your an angel in the sky,
One of the strongest men I've ever known,
The strongest Angel's ever flown,
I know someday you'll come for me,
Until then I can't help but weep,
But I know I'll see you in my sleep,
I just miss you everyday,
I lay my head at night and pray,
You'll be there in my dreams,
Like ocean tides and flowing streams,
And things we just dont understand,
So in my dreams I grab your hand,
In the day I play my guitar,
I hope you hear it where ever you are,
I just want to make you proud,
So I try to play it loud,
I know your there in the clouds,
Listening to my improvement,
Watching every single movement,
I love you grandpa and you know,
What words can't say or actions show.

I always felt the warmth of your embrace
When I ate melting Mac and cheese.
The bright yellow cheese gleamed like your eyes
I saw your smile in smirking elbow noodles, curled upwards.
Ham and bread crumbs sprinkled the top,
Creating the perfect symphony of savory on my taste buds.
The blueberry muffins always tasted so sweet...

I miss your sweetness.

The call of your voice echoes now
As a distant shout for dinner to be served.
It’s been years since you’ve passed,
But I still hear your words call down the hall
floating over Jeopardy playing on the television.

I can’t hear your voice anymore saying you love me,
But I can always hear it haunt me when I eat Mac & Cheese.
It’s the only time I can hear voice...

I miss your voice.

The smell of Mac & Cheese makes me sick now.
Flavor doesn’t dance on my taste buds anymore.
The cheese tastes cold.
The blueberries taste bitter.
The savory ham now tastes sorrowful.
And the bread crumbs feel like sand scraping my mouth.

No one else makes it like you did,
Even if the recipe is the same.
But I still eat it.
Because I feel you with me when I do.
It’s the only time I do...

I will always miss the warmth of your melting Mac & Cheese,
And the warmth of your embrace.

She had her sparkle in her eyes,
She had his smile on her lips.
Maa remembered once he told her , " If we have babies, they will have your eyes".

Do you know me?
I grew up without a mother
She left when my oldest sister was three
Even when my sister was close to dying
She spent money on drugs instead of for flying

I hated my dad for keeping us away from her when I was little
When I was 16 I realized she was brittle
When it was my sister's graduation day
They talked for one minute because she had nothing to say

She told my dad that she was going to move out here
A year later and she's not even here
She gave my hopes up
So much that it felt like a breakup

She asked my dad when I was born
That pierced my heart with thousands of thorns
Does she even deserve the title mother
When she lies one after another

You, because you are here
you must know me
help me

You see, I am disconcerted
all sorts of things
do not fit

I have no drive, no fancy
I have hair on my chin
and spots on my shirt

There is buzz, there are
tiring odds and ends
my body is broken

I dream fragments
I have no overview
help me

nobody taught me how to lie.
-sat down with me, and told me
in steps, showed me to walk up a staircase,
and hide in a glass walkway.

but people gave me their hands to hold,
a crying child,
and beat me when i took those hands.
my parents brought me home and told me to bat those hands away.

i learned how to lie, when people measured me
as if i was no more than a number on a wooden ruler,
lower than their own.
today, i know i’m not.

i learned to lie, when it all became too hard to bear,
all those late nights and broken pencils
tears shed everyday, yet you doubted me.
it was real.

my best lie was taught to me by a beautiful woman
-loving her was a secret, as was loving her and her and her,
because the very people who brought me home,
pulled me away from those rulers,
told me i was wonderful,
never doubted those tears as they were wiped away
would be the ones
who could rip my heart.

when life taught me that the truth
laying yourself out
-when it really matters,
rips you apart
you learn to lie.

when life gives you a secret worse than all else,
you see the consequences words can have
-you see that you are a sinner
you learn to lie,
and you wonder if you are a lie yourself.