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Delaney Mar 4
what did I do?
I must have done something wrong.
I must have.
I keep wracking my brain-
scratching my skin-
picking my nails
trying to figure it out.
I'm tearing myself apart trying to fix this-
fix us.
and you sit there.
in the throne you built
from the stones you threw at me.
nothing can compare to your words-
they slice me like knives.
I am standing before you
dressed in rags
demanding answers.
my arms reach out to you
and you slap them away.
you want me to beg for forgiveness.
get on my knees and tell you
that you are right and
I am wrong
and you have been suffering and
I have been hurting you
for way too long.
please look down.
you are sitting on a throne,
and the wounds on my skin
are being kissed by the wind.

you let me go.
you are walking away.
I called after you.
I run after you for eight years.
you turn around sometimes
so I can catch my breath.
eight years of running...
there's no way I can catch
my breath in time before
your stone knocks the wind
out of me.
and then I stopped.
I fell to my knees.
surrender.
you keep walking.
don't you realize I'm not behind you?
stop, turn around.
nothing.

I stand up.
I brush myself off.
I turn.
I walk away.
I've gone eight years
working myself
and learning
what it means to be completely
without you.
you cannot hurt me.
I will not hand you the stone.
I'm sure I can find my way home from here.

-something like a goodbye
Delaney Feb 25
I gave you a gift-
Truth.
And you regifted it
Into a weapon.

How can you question my actions
When yours throw swords into my chest?

-why can't I just give up?
Delaney Feb 18
Like a child wanting to touch a hot stove
You keep telling me not to
Don’t. Do. It.
Perhaps you should just let me get burned.
Then I will understand.

I don’t want to get burned.
I’m just curious…
How hot it can get before
My hand sizzles.

-how long have we been doing this?
Delaney Feb 18
Powerful words of affirmation.
Three words that twist around my heart.
Do you mean them?
You say them.
You want them to be real.
Delaney Feb 18
A privilege anyone would want.
A presence some should earn.
You leaving shouldn’t be a guilt
I have to live with.
Delaney Feb 18
A desire I also want.
A passion I look for every day.
Something that should come so easily-
Especially for a child.
Delaney Feb 8
eighteen years,
my heart has been yours.
every time I ran away
or wanted to be free,
you let me go.
but I came back...
you had my heart.
I guess you always will
have part of me.
I can't deny that.
one way or another I'll always come back.
you have me for four more years
and then...
you gotta let me go
for good.
and not expect my return
so soon.
can you do it?

-you feel like home
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