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Benji James Jun 2017
Just another year older
And the days grow colder
She still won't let me hold her
And it all comes down to the facts
It just seems to be how she reacts
And I couldn't careless
If I'd live or die

Because a life without you
Isn't what I wanna live
I know you've seen right through me
I'll just disappear into the shadows
Your hearts so full of doubt
I'm trapped in a hole and I can't get out

I'm lost in all you are
I'm losing my way
Walking into the wrong direction
Into your anger and perception
There is no need to mention
What you feel in this deception
I came to you and got corrected

Because a life without you
Isn't what I wanna live
I know you've seen right through me
I'll just disappear into the shadows
Your hearts so full of doubt
I'm trapped in a hole and I can't get out

All we had was a lie
There no way I can deny
It was all in my head
And in days I haven't slept
Because with you on my mind
How can I not think
will our two different worlds collide

Because a life without you
Isn't what I wanna live
I know you've seen right through me
I'll just disappear into the shadows
Your hearts so full of doubt
I'm trapped in a hole and I can't get out

©2017 Written By Benji James
Kat Jun 2017
I can’t sit still
I can’t muster the patience
I’m constantly frustrated and unsatisfied
It’s like the only way I can escape it
The only way to release the energy
Is to write
Write down every thought that comes to mind
Mindlessly
As ironic as it sounds
Benji James Jun 2017
2004 I discovered
I could write
All the emotions I felt inside
That's when the lyrics
Just started to flow
But it started out slow
2011 I was on top of my game
2014 I took a break
2015 I lost pretty much everything
Guess that means
2016 I have to start over again

I used to **** this lyrical ****
Now I can't be bothered
with any of it
In fact, I don't even care about life
I'm sick of all these fake smiles
I'm tired of feeling alone
I'm sick of trying to move on

I'm done with this
Feeling like ****
Trying to get better
That's not working
Trying to find reasons to live
I'm done looking for it
You can't give me a reason to stay
Pass me the blade
It's time to fade away

Stop pretending you care
When I know you don't
I see through your lies
Nobody here can
Make me change my mind
I've seen a dark world
Through these eyes
Thought I could ignite the world with love
Should have given up from the start

I used to **** this lyrical ****
Now I can't be bothered
with any of it
In fact, I don't even care about life
I'm sick of all these fake smiles
I'm tired of feeling alone
I'm sick of trying to move on

I'm done with this
Feeling like ****
Trying to get better
That's not working
Trying to find reasons to live
I'm done looking for it
You can't give me a reason to stay
Pass me the blade
It's time to fade away

I've tried coming to grips
With the things that I think
I can't let this brain keep running
It drives me deeper into the ground
I'm better off when I'm not around
Eternal sleep that's for me
I said it before and I'll say it again
I've taken my vows
It's time to let these lights go out

I used to **** this lyrical ****
Now I can't be bothered
with any of it
In fact, I don't even care about life
I'm sick of all these fake smiles
I'm tired of feeling alone
I'm sick of trying to move on

I'm done with this
Feeling like ****
Trying to get better
That's not working
Trying to find reasons to live
I'm done looking for it
You can't give me a reason to stay
Pass me the blade
It's time to fade away

©2017 Written By Benji James
Benji James Jun 2017
All dressed up
With nowhere to go
A phone full of numbers
With no one to call
Guess I should have replied
To all the messages I got sent
Instead, I shut everyone out
That when you pay the price
In behind these lonely eyes
Lies dormant emotions inside
Ready to awaken from this slumber
Oh how I wish I could rewind
Make better decision in my life

Sympathy ain't found here
You made your own decisions
It should be crystal clear
Why you're all alone
Staring at your shadow
Upon the wall
Hoping, waiting for somebody to call

That is when you hear
Just deal with it
No, I won't give in
Just deal with it
Can't shake this
Sinking feeling
I won't just deal with it
I won't give in
I'll keep fighting
till my last breath
I won't just deal with it
Deal with it

Late night drives
Just don't work like they used to
I need someone till fills this void
There's a hole in my soul
Looking for a spark
Looking for a jumpstart
To reenergize my heart
There's something in my mind
Trying to stay optimistic
That it'll all be okay
But there's still no sign
Of an end to all this rain
There still no cure
To this pain.

Sympathy ain't found here
You made your own decisions
It should be crystal clear
Why you're all alone
Staring at your shadow
Upon the wall
Hoping, waiting for somebody to call

That is when you hear
Just deal with it
No, I won't give in
Just deal with it
Can't shake this
Sinking feeling
I won't just deal with it
I won't give in
I'll keep fighting
till my last breath
I won't just deal with it
Deal with it

They say home is where the heart is
Never has a line ever been so true
That why I'm out in the darkness
Searching for you
Looking for a little light
To brighten my sky
Somehow I hold onto hope
Everything's gonna work out right
Somehow I figure
I'm gonna find you
At just the right time

Sympathy ain't found here
You made your own decisions
It should be crystal clear
Why you're all alone
Staring at your shadow
Upon the wall
Hoping, waiting for somebody to call

That is when you hear
Just deal with it
No, I won't give in
Just deal with it
Can't shake this
Sinking feeling
I won't just deal with it
I won't give in
I'll keep fighting
till my last breath
I won't just deal with it
Deal with it

©2017 Written By Benji James
Benji James Jun 2017
Driving down the freeway
Looking at the stars
Wondering how far you are
I've been spending all of my time
Looking for a girl
Who'll fill in my life
And my heart it only beats for one
I'm still looking
still, can't find the one

I've been searching far and wide
Don't know where it is she hides
Not sure why this flame keeps dying
I set my heart alight
Why does the fire keep fading

I don't want to spend
Another night alone
I can't hold myself together
On my own
I need a girl
Who can hold me tight
I need a girl
Who can light up my skies
No, I don't want to spend
Another night alone
Won't hold myself together
On my own

Cruising through the street
Looking for a sign
Looking for a sign
Of a girl who will just be mine
And I keep walking up mountains
Looking at the views
Hoping soon that I'll find you
And I've been going to all of these places
Hoping soon a girl will fill these spaces

I've been searching far and wide
Don't know where it is she hides
Not sure why this flame keeps dying
I set my heart alight
Why does the fire keep fading

I don't want to spend
Another night alone
I can't hold myself together
On my own
I need a girl
Who can hold me tight
I need a girl
Who can light up my skies
No, I don't want to spend
Another night alone
Won't hold myself together
On my own

Laying in my bed
It's pitch black
Have we ever even met
I'm thinking of places
Where I might find you
Maybe I should just stop searching
Maybe this is fruitless
Maybe everybody thinks I'm just stupid
All I know is I can't find Cupid
And my heart is slowing to a calm pace
That's when I drift off to sleep

I've been searching far and wide
Don't know where it is she hides
Not sure why this flame keeps dying
I set my heart alight
Why does the fire keep fading

I don't want to spend
Another night alone
I can't hold myself together
On my own
I need a girl
Who can hold me tight
I need a girl
Who can light up my skies
No, I don't want to spend
Another night alone
Won't hold myself together
On my own

Tell me am I dreaming
I can hear a voice
Off in the distance
Sounds so sweet
That's when I turn around
And I see you
I think I'm melting
You said I can love you
My heart starts racing
She goes in for the kiss
That's when I wake up
And now my head won't stop thinking
Who was the girl in my dream?
Who was that girl I've just seen?

I've been searching far and wide
Don't know where it is she hides
Not sure why this flame keeps dying
I set my heart alight
Why does the fire keep fading

I don't want to spend
Another night alone
I can't hold myself together
On my own
I need a girl
Who can hold me tight
I need a girl
Who can light up my skies
No, I don't want to spend
Another night alone
Won't hold myself together
On my own

©2017 Written By Benji James
Benji James Jun 2017
Twenty-seven years
Of losing out in love
Twenty-seven years
Of never giving up
On anyone I love
Full of hate, But full of love
Full of courage, Full of heart
I’ve fallen down
But I got back up
Got lost, been stuck
Found a way back out
But fell right back in

Twenty-seven years
I’m still holding on
Twenty-seven years
All the best parts of me gone
I’m still staying strong
But for how long?
Every day could this be my last song
Twenty-seven years
and it all goes wrong
Twenty-seven minutes
Bad lucks born
So many decisions
but I’m still torn

Ever since childhood memories
I’ve had enemies
I’ve lost energy
trying to fight
With all of my might
I’m losing sight
through all these hard times
Through every single line
through every rhyme
Through everything I write
You get a glimpse
Into my troubled mind
So appreciate the time
That I’ve put in
To every word
From all the hurt
In my heart
From all my broken love

Twenty-seven years
It’s taken to come to terms
With all, I’ve had to learn
Twenty-seven years
I’ve learned to burn
All the rage, the hate
Wipe clean the slate
Twenty-seven years
I’m still around
Twenty-seven years
I’m standing my ground
Against the tides, the crowd
It gives me a reason to shout
My passion out loud
Standing tall and proud
Before I’m taken out
In the final round

Twenty-seven years
Twenty-seven years

©2017 Written By Benji James
Benji James Jun 2017
2017 and I'm still writing
2017 and still no one likes me
Let me take you back to 2011
Back to when lyrics were
Jumping out of me
Like visual scenes
Back when I was an emotional mess
Where every song ends
With me dead
Remember
The razor blade cuts
All of  them scars
All that blood
I called Art

I've been looking around
And nothing has changed
I'm still the mess that was made
I still crave that attention
I still end my nights in depression

I'm still looking for something
That can save my life
Keep failing at everything that I try
Sometimes it's an effort to even smile
At least I can admit it
At least I know I'm like this

Doctors keep prescribing me pills
With this, I can't even deal
Drug addict
I just won't be
They get poured down the drain
My soul is damaged
Beyond repair
In a pitch black room
You'll find me there

I've been looking around
And nothing has changed
I'm still the mess that was made
I still crave that attention
I still end my nights in depression

I'm still looking for something
That can save my life
Keep failing at everything that I try
Sometimes it's an effort to even smile
At least I can admit it
At least I know I'm like this

Happy go lucky
That's supposed to be me?
Guess you just don't really know me
And all the things
that run through my mind
Every single night
I'm lost in life
And I can't seem to find
A map that shows me the right direction
They said life's all about perception
And my perspective
Is that I'm just dead and floating

I've been looking around
And nothing has changed
I'm still the mess that was made
I still crave that attention
I still end my nights in depression

I'm still looking for something
That can save my life
Keep failing at everything that I try
Sometimes it's an effort to even smile
At least I can admit it
At least I know I'm like this

©2017 Written By Benji James
Benji James May 2017
Take a glance
Take a chance
Take a deep breath
Breathe in the fresh air
Cuz you know that I'll do
Anything for you
Run your toes through the sand
Feel the spark that we both share
Trust in every one of God's plans
Come girl take my hand
Let the sun soak into your skin
Cuz you know I'll do anything
And give everything for you
You know I will
I'd lay my life on the line
Let me be your guide
Let me heal the scars
You hold deep down inside
I'll hold you close in my arms
Just like the sky holds the stars
Girl, you are perfect
just the way you are

I won't let you break down
I won't let you fall
I'll be there every time you call
I won't let the storm
Come crashing through your walls
I'll be there through it all
Yeah you can own my heart
I won't give up
Cuz I'm addicted
to everything you are
Cuz you're my drug
I know that this is love

Everything you do
It's so **** cute
And everything you say
Makes me happy every day
You're so sweet when you blush
Oh I just can't get enough
Of your perfect face
The way that you taste
Every time our lips collide
You ignite the butterflies
Deep down inside
And I hope I do for you
You know it's true

I won't let you break down
I won't let you fall
I'll be there every time you call
I won't let the storm
Come crashing through your walls
I'll be there through it all
Yeah you can own my heart
I won't give up
Cuz I'm addicted
to everything you are
Cuz you're my drug
I know that this is love

Princess you know I'm here to protect,
I'm here to defend
Can you feel my heart
bleeding through my chest
I'll bleed for you; I'll bleed for this
Cuz you're everything I am
I won't leave you a mess
I'll do everything I can
I'll wipe the smudged mascara
From beneath your eyes
Every time you cry
I'll take your pain and make it mine
I'd write a million lines
Just to see you smile
I'll hold you tight
Let's light fireworks tonight
To brighten up your skies
I'll never lie, yeah girl it's true
I'd do all of this for you

I won't let you break down
I won't let you fall
I'll be there every time you call
I won't let the storm
Come crashing through your walls
I'll be there through it all
Yeah you can own my heart
I won't give up
Cuz I'm addicted
to everything you are
Cuz you're my drug
I know that this is love

Let the fire of desire
Light that sparkle in your eyes
I love your smile
When you say
would you stay a while
Your teeth are so white just like the stars
that shine so bright
You're my lover, and you are my life
I see you as my future wife
So put your faith and your trust
Into our love,
cuz you're the only one
I truly want
The one that I love
You take me to heaven and beyond

I won't let you break down
I won't let you fall
I'll be there every time you call
I won't let the storm
Come crashing through your walls
I'll be there through it all
Yeah you can own my heart
I won't give up
Cuz I'm addicted
to everything you are
Cuz you're my drug
I know that this is love

©2017 Written By Benji James
Benji James May 2017
Driving home
Song reminds me of you
Comes on
That's when I break down
Eyes will be red
From all the tears
I'm gonna cry now
Don't know how I fell this hard
For somebody, I never met
The only answer I can get is
I'm in love with the idea of you
I'm sorry for lashing out
Just wanted you to be all in
Didn't like the games
it felt like you were playing

They tried to tell me this was lust
But I know it never was
Wanted more than just *** from you
You gave me that rest of my life
Kind of vibe
And all I wanted to do
Was fall deeply in love with you
Could somehow picture just us two.

There seems to be
All these little things
That just remind me of you
And I'd give anything
Just to talk to you
You know I would
(You know I would)
Images flash in my head
Memories of you
Can't escape
This heartbreak
Can't find a way
To lose these feelings
You gave

They tried to tell me this was lust
But I know it never was
Wanted more than just *** from you
You gave me that rest of my life
Kind of vibe
And all I wanted to do
Was fall deeply in love with you
Could somehow picture just us two.

Feels like I've lost
A part of my soul
Feels like there's a massive hole
Inside of me
Where you used to be
I'm trying to fill it
With something else
Can't seem to find something
That makes me feel the same way
That I feel about you
Still crushed
Still, hurts with every heartbeat
Ode to her on repeat
Can't believe I lost it all
Just like that
It all ended
Just like that

They tried to tell me this was lust
But I know it never was
Wanted more than just *** from you
You gave me that rest of my life
Kind of vibe
And all I wanted to do
Was fall deeply in love with you
Could somehow picture just us two.

Still, love ya
Still, want ya
Want you to know
This heart is still yours
No matter what you think
What you thought
I was always gonna be yours
I may be, broken
Shattered at the core
But I'd go back through it all
for you
I'd do anything for you

They tried to tell me this was lust
But I know it never was
Wanted more than just *** from you
You gave me that rest of my life
Kind of vibe
And all I wanted to do
Was fall deeply in love with you
Could somehow picture just us two.

©2017 Written By Benji James
Benji James May 2017
Say goodbye to the foundations
Holding us up
the values we hold are starting to rust
everyone is losing the definition of trust
is everything just becoming too much?
Too much hunger, war and ruin
Theft and violence is on the rise
and you expect us to just sit in silence
***** all the politicians and religions
they cause more wars,
that’s the leadership given
I’m here to break that system
There is a problem that needs fixing
Instead, we fight something
that can’t be, won
But for a solution, we must become one

Let’s build a future
For the safety of all of the kids
Let’s show them. There is another way
To solve problems without such conflict
through love, lanterns should be, lit
Together we should stand hand in hand
Like a wall made of stone,
We can’t do it on our own

Hates on the rise
behind messages from the keyboard, people hide
Giving their harshest opinions
Cowards are, given
opportunity to speak their mind
Causing scars on one another’s hearts
Making the victims feel like
They wish they didn't exist
This right here is something that needs to be, fixed
But until we stand as one
Nothing can be, done
It takes one to start the trend
But unless we all join in
The world is just going to fall apart

Let’s build a future
For the safety of all of the kids
Let’s show them, and there is another way
To solve problems without such conflict
Through love, lanterns should be, lit
Together we should stand hand in hand
Like a wall made of stone,
We can’t do it on our own

A world rooted in hate on gender, colour and race
These are just some challenges we face
Stand together, and we will change
The fate that we face
War, starvation and blame
If we continue to disagree,
It could start world war 3
So now can you see?
The impact it’s bringing
Through music, we keep singing
To make a change

Let’s build a future
For the safety of all of the kids
Let’s show them; there is another way
To solve problems without such conflict
Through love, lanterns should be, lit
Together we should stand hand in hand
Like a wall made of stone,
We can’t do it on our own

Stand together, or we’ll fall
Rise to the call
Stand and be tall
Don’t hold back, give your all
Be strong and bring down this wall
Of hate and blame, no more games!
Make the change; we’re one in the same

©2017 Written By Benji James
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