Life is sure to cost you whilst on the path you choose.
And there will be heartache from things that you will lose.
A greater pain you may encounter, at a far greater cost,
is to no longer see a value in things that once you lost.

Failed again; only this time I lose everything, including my mind.
I plan to wake tomorrow with the intention of trying again.

Your life is your life,
Don't let it be clubbed into dank submission.

I know some "thing" is watching, listening closely.
"It," sends me hope through whispers, whispers only I can hear.
I am scrutinized, ostracized, berated for even paying attention to "that thing."

I am hurt. I want to quit. But I lost everything already, what more do I have to lose?

I act again. I try again. I fail again.
I've given myself the piece of advice to: hold these failures close to my heart. They will pave the way. One stepping stone after another.

You will ride life into perfect laughter.

There’s a kind of beauty in watching the destruction I’ve wrought.
Even in the tears you’ve brought.
Yes---is this the solution I sought?

The bruises I’ve left as they burn into you.
Your broken visage-such a lovely view.
After I have shown you what you should have knew.

My pet-so naïve, so easy to deceive.
I may disappear but trust me, I will never ever leave.
I’ve got so much more up my sleeve.

I just couldn’t stand to see-
you love him more than me.
I was never enough, though I tried to be.

You twisted me up inside and brought me to my knees.
With this feeling-this wretched disease.
For which my very nature disagrees.

I want to tear you apart.
Shake your soul and destroy your heart.
Turn you into my latest work of art.

I will watch you suffocate.
Slowly grow to hate.
Smiling at your miserable fate.

Bound to me forever more.
Now what’s that face for?
It’s all your fault-I couldn’t be the one you adore.

Yet you’ll never be able to forget the things I did.
You lost the fight, the light in your eyes, and in bitter shame you hid.
As I took what you would have otherwise forbid.

I love to know you are wrapped in chains unseen.
That it was I who made you so unclean.
As I pushed you around-so **** easy to demean.

I will haunt your every dream.
Tear your hopes seam from seam.
I hear it-your silent scream.

You can never escape this fate pet.
You can never forget.

Pain shoots through my spine,
blood flow is restricted,
to the pain meds I´m starting to get addicted,

I can hear the bones in my knee krack,
and I could feel the tendon snap,

I spent my life training, riding, playing, swimming,
now everything is compromised,
this ontop of all is hell summarized,

but Im plowing through,
screaming in pain,
but nothing can stop me now,
my head is too deep into the game.

I sit on the rooftop looking down. I look at my feet that dangle before me, traffic lights, cars and other motorists buzzing by, a mom pushing a stroller, kids frolicking in the grass because a new season has begun. I ponder about life itself. How can something be so excruciatingly invested in its own beauty but yet so atrocious at the same time? The daily news covers so much corruption throughout mankind but yet the view on the rooftop displays what is at peace with the world.

I feel as though we are governed by society, a caricature of how things should be and in this way some of us have grown to be cruel. One violently attacks another because of their religious beliefs, ****** orientation, physical appearance and race for reasons that i can't wrap my brain around. In this life, being different has become the elephant in the room, a label where society rears its ugly head.

It's upsetting how quickly some are to point fingers and publicly ridicule another without trying to put themselves in the victim's shoes. And maybe that's why I strive to be honest and embrace my difference. I feel for those who believe they are neglected by society and need to change who they are in order to fit in.          
       On the rooftop, i look for signs of humanity.

.



                              it makes a difference

it rained                                                           one event

as the sun rose                                                the advantage taken

or vise versa                                                    versus

­the genius                                                        the­ one given

is the unknowable                                          is only patched

set up of                                                           depending on

what happens next.                                        the result.

Hazy morning, early rise, brewing up coffee to wake up those droopy eyes,
Soft tunes in the back, depleted, but knowing hard work, it always pays back, paying dues, work flow heavy, tryna take over the world at eighteen already, got that villain mentally but I ain't no villain, motivated minds do the best killing, surpassing every obstacle you can with no questions asked, that's just how I do, wait on that aftermath, if you ever doubt me, hear this wrath, once was a man, broken who lost his path, came up from the ground, chose to rise n run, changing the game hoping this will lead me to my fame, cause even in the darkest hours, I'm in deep thought, thinking about things that can soon be ours.
-Pablo Barrios