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Mandii Morbid Nov 2023
I've painted over this canvas one too many times.
I'm running out of colors, I'm running out of ryhmes.

My brush is losing bristles, my hands are losing faith.
This wooden frame is shattered, splitting at the seams.
I don't know if I'll ever, reframe all my dreams.
In my mind they scatter, haunt me like a wraith.

I've painted over this canvas one too many times.
I'm running out of colors, I'm running out of ryhmes.

The paint layers are cracking, my heart is turned to stone.
That heavy burden peeling, again I'm all alone.
Mandii Morbid Nov 2023
Within your eyes, I am magnetized.
Green and glimmering, the shaky hand of fate instantly realized.
Draw me in, drown me in the sweetest sin.
Your gentle hands, a wildfire burning through my skin.

Blushing, as you kiss me, I feel fullfilled, waking up, blooming.
Ours is a passion all consuming.

This empty cup, it overflows. Within, a new love slowly grows.
Each of us only silently knows. As I dread the morning when he always goes.

How we fit together, like no other could before.
Every last embrace, always leaving me wanting more.
I considered running away, but oh how it's you I adore.

Your smile it warms me up on the coldest day.
I want to run my fingers through your dark curls and sweetly ask you to stay. Nervously, ask you if you feel the same way?

Am I alone in this aching need?
This silent plead.

There was more to this connection than a fleeting escape from our disparate lives and our broken pasts. I can't help but think this is a love that lasts.

Can we give it a try? Can we give it a go?
You're so far away, but I would be willing to take it slow.
The moment I met you was the moment I would know.
There was nobody else, I didn't want to have to let you go.

I made a wish, spoke it out to the universe, screamed it with my heart. A hope for a new love, a new start.

A home where the passion didn't die.
A love that wouldn't lie-
to escape loneliness or their own despair.
A love who would always dare.

Baby, can we dance in harmony?
Can you help to set me free?
Let's runaway together, you and me.
I promise it'll be an adventure, one that was meant to be.

This is a delicate game.
To wait and see-
if our feelings are the same.
Mandii Morbid Jul 2023
Falling petals and curling leaves,
Withering decay and a heart that grieves.
From the soil, a new life grows.
Born from all the dreams she sows. ๐ŸŒฟ
Mandii Morbid Aug 2022
You know how Emily said Hope is a thing with wings?

Well mine is nosediving and I can't believe how much it stings.

Despair it grips my soul,
And all I hear is screams.
They always echo on repeat and swallow up my dreams.

I used to love your arms around me.
Now they are suffocating.

I used to believe in one and only-
Now it just feels lonely.

I used to imagine a white wedding,
Now that thinking is steady resetting.

I used to do anything just to see you smile,
Now I know I haven't made you happy in a long while.

I used to believe in magic. Now it's all just noise.
Once the static passes, it's the silence that destroys.

I used to be a hopeless romantic-
Now I am only just hopeless.
Mandii Morbid Jun 2022
๐—œ ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜€๐˜ ๐—บ๐˜† ๐˜„๐—ถ๐—น๐—น, ๐—œ ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜€๐˜ ๐—บ๐˜† ๐—ณ๐˜‚๐—ฐ๐—ธ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—บ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฑ.
๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ ๐˜จ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ข๐˜จ๐˜ข๐˜ช๐˜ฏ, ๐˜ด๐˜ฑ๐˜ช๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ uสop ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ฃ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ฌ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ช๐˜ต'๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ฌ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ.
๐˜“๐˜ฐ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ช๐˜ต ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ Vร˜ล‚ฤ, ๐˜ช๐˜ต'๐˜ด ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ฌ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜จ๐˜ฉ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜จ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด, ๐˜ข๐˜ช๐˜ฎ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ด ๐˜ช๐˜ต ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ด ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ท๐˜ช๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ฌ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฌ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ.
๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ โ‚ดโ‚ฎโ‚ณโ‚ฎล‚โ‚ต ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ฌ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜บ ๐˜ด๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ฆ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต ๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ.

๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฑ๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ด, ๐˜ช๐˜ต'๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ฌ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ฌ,
๐Ÿ††๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ…ฐ๐Ÿ†ƒ๐Ÿ…ท๐Ÿ…ต๐Ÿ†„๐Ÿ…ป ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜บ.
๐˜“๐˜ช๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ, ๐˜ข ๐˜ท๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ฌ-
๐˜‹๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ด.
๐˜ˆ๐˜ด ๐˜ ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ถ๐˜จ๐˜ฉ ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜บ.
๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ต ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜บ๐˜ด ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด ๐˜ฃ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ฌ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ, ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ต ๐˜ค๐˜บ๐˜ค๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด,
๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜จ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ด ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ๐˜ด.
๐˜ˆ๐˜ด ๐š‹๐š’๐š๐š๐šŽ๐š› ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฌ๐˜ด ๐˜ ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ฆ.
๐˜ž๐˜ข๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ฅ๐˜ซ๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ช๐˜ค๐˜ด- ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜บ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ด๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜ง๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ฆ.

๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด hอŽeอŽaอŽrอŽtอŽ -๐˜ช๐˜ต'๐˜ด ๐˜ง๐˜ข๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ, ๐˜ฒ๐˜ถ๐˜ช๐˜ค๐˜ฌ๐˜ญ๐˜บ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ต - ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜บ sฬฝอ“hฬฝอ“iฬฝอ“nฬฝอ“yฬฝอ“ ๐˜จ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ต ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜ฆ๐˜บ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด
๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ง๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜บ, ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ฃ๐˜ญ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ณ๐˜บ fฬทaฬทnฬทtฬทaฬทsฬทyฬท ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ค๐˜ฆ ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ, ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ช๐˜ฏ.
๐˜ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ถ๐˜ฑ ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ฉ ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ฆ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฆ๐˜ด, ๐˜ข ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ฉ๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ท๐˜ช๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ฉ ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜ด๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜จ๐˜ถ๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ฆ.
๐˜ž๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ค๐˜ฉ ๐˜ช๐˜ตย ย ๐•• ๐•š ๐•ค ๐•’ ๐•ก ๐•ก ๐•– ๐•’ ๐•ฃ, ๐˜ง๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ๐˜ฏ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ, ๐˜ง๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ๐˜จ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ฉ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ช๐˜ฏ.


6/28/2022 - Mandii Morbid ยฉ
Mandii Morbid Oct 2021
Loss
chip
Violence
nic
Trauma
chip

With each chip I find it harder to feel.
Every nic makes my world feel less real.

Bruises
nic
Scars
chip
Tears
nic

Each more takes a bit of my heart.
Tearing me even further apart.

Betrayal
chip
Abandonment
nic
Loneliness
chip

I am losing myself it seems.
On this path of shattered dreams.

crack

Each one a new crack in my foundation.
Till I come crumbling down.
Just a linear step to stagnation.
Losing my words--they're all I have left.
Now I am stuck praying for damnation.

crack

I am slipping. Further away.
Lost in the memories of yesterday.
I have lost my voice-I don't know what to do. What to say.

shatter

I stomp on my broken pieces just to relive the pain.
I worry that I am too broken and just a touch insane.
'Cause I need a little sunshine to balance out this rain.
They say it just takes a little bleach to take out the bloodstain.

I am slipping through the cracks it seems.
But I want to glue the pieces back together.
I want to to be free and chase my dreams.
But my moods are changing like the weather.

I just wanna be lighter than a feather.

I am tired of carrying the pieces around. Some pieces already lost and won't ever to be found.

Can I just grind them to dust and blow them away? Lessen the weight of what used to be.
Can I craft a new vessel and gain the power to be free?

Free of all the broken bits of me?
Mandii Morbid Mar 2021
Blank canvas, layers, peeling, past pains, loss, just a little paint thinner to wear it all down.
Gonna paint the next layer thin, again and again.
So it doesn't hurt as much when I peel it all off.
Blisters under my nails.
Stinging tears.
I have only one canvas and it's painting all my fears.
Weathered wood and fraying ends.
This is where it all begins.
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