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Mandii Morbid Nov 2019
You never get to know the 'why'.
You can only learn how to create the 'who'. A new you.
Stronger, although stranger.
Alert to the pending danger.
You never get to know the 'why'.
Questions ever lasting, always haunting your mind.
Answers you may never even find.
Even in facing your fears, constantly denied.
Fate is a prideful mistress, not wanting to be defied.
Search not in shadows, but seek in light. Don't give up on yourself.
Trust me, you are worth the fight.
Mandii Morbid Nov 2019
I remember back when it was all so simple and carefree.
Grilled ham and cheese sandwiches and capris suns, grandma and grandpa's was the place to be.

You were always there.
Making jokes and poking fun.
Your time on this earth brought smiles to almost everyone.

When we grew older and things changed for us all.
We came to know suffering and taking a fall.
Family gatherings became less and few.
Sadness took a hold of you too.

You worked harder than most and deserved the best.
You knew love, family, and made it feel like home to us.
Now it has come, your time for rest.
It came too soon, happened too fast.
All we want is to rewind the past.

You will always live on in our hearts and memories.
In each of our smiles and all of our dreams.

You will always be there in the echoes of our laughter, in the salt of our tears, and in the hollows of our hearts.
In Memory of my grandfather "Buzz" James Johnson.
Mandii Morbid Jan 2019
I have lost many and gained nothing in my kingdom of ice and hate. Succession to the throne would merely seal my fate.
You can't love, you can't dare show weakness or they will descend upon you like flies to the dead.
There are those who once bowed in reverence that would gladly take your head.

I sit and play this game, a game of blood and war.
There are days I start to forget what it all has been for.
We serve them pawns of flesh and they sing songs of sorrow.
Mourning the dead can wait till tomorrow.

I count the days until I may see your face again.
I wonder yet, if you will forgive me, my greatest sin.
Will you hold me once more in your warm embrace?
Will you smile at me despite the pain you face?

If I could rip out this heart,
show you it beats only for you.
Would you tear it apart?
Or could we start anew?

Until I sit upon the throne, I can never truly atone.
You will never be free from winter's grip.
I cannot afford to slip.

To become what I despise,
I must play into their game of lies.
Become the King they want of me.
So I can drown them in their treachery.

When that day comes, my love, I can finally set you free.
This was actually loosely based on a character I developed for a story. I was writing in his perspective.
Mandii Morbid Aug 2018
Sometimes you have to look and see-
through the eyes of the unworthy.

Twist your mind and reach for the darkest depths within.
But even then it's hard to explain another's sin.

There's no excuse for the way that monsters live.
There's no escape from the pain they give.

You can adapt, change, begin again.
But you have to accept these scars, everlasting, underneath your skin.
This started as an explanation for my poem "The Other Side" but I kind of liked it as a standalone piece.
Mandii Morbid Aug 2018
I'm pretty sure I'll black out the sky and redo the stars within a better design.
You'll reminisce for those days when I called you mine.
When you've had enough of being alone, you'll find me again and miss what I've shown.
But will it all have been worth it when you no longer make my stars fall from the sky?
When I've grown cold from a heart left to die.
Love's fire smothered by the ashes of pain.
Please don't let us die in vain.
Mandii Morbid Aug 2018
It's all in shades of grey.
Decisions you made you can't wash away.
As you are spiraling down, buried by the words you never meant to say.
Searching, like a fool, to find another way.
Living for tomorrow and never for today.
Mandii Morbid Jul 2018
There’s a kind of beauty in watching the destruction I’ve wrought.
Even in the tears you’ve brought.
Yes---is this the solution I sought?

The bruises I’ve left as they burn into you.
Your broken visage-such a lovely view.
After I have shown you what you should have knew.

My pet-so naïve, so easy to deceive.
I may disappear but trust me, I will never ever leave.
I’ve got so much more up my sleeve.

I just couldn’t stand to see-
you love him more than me.
I was never enough, though I tried to be.

You twisted me up inside and brought me to my knees.
With this feeling-this wretched disease.
For which my very nature disagrees.

I want to tear you apart.
Shake your soul and destroy your heart.
Turn you into my latest work of art.

I will watch you suffocate.
Slowly grow to hate.
Smiling at your miserable fate.

Bound to me forever more.
Now what’s that face for?
It’s all your fault-I couldn’t be the one you adore.

Yet you’ll never be able to forget the things I did.
You lost the fight, the light in your eyes, and in bitter shame you hid.
As I took what you would have otherwise forbid.

I love to know you are wrapped in chains unseen.
That it was I who made you so unclean.
As I pushed you around-so **** easy to demean.

I will haunt your every dream.
Tear your hopes seam from seam.
I hear it-your silent scream.

You can never escape this fate pet.
You can never forget.
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