you taught her
to shut up

to keep quiet

to know her place

to nod and agree

and to never, ever
disobey you.



when the police
came knocking
on your door

and they asked her
where you had been,

you expected her
to state your alibi.



you expected her
to speak up for you,

but you had taught her
to never speak at all.



that was your
fatal mistake.

People are so eager to say,
"You are enough"
to shove,
"self love" down your throat.
but when you're tossed aside,
by everyone,
how can I believe that I'm,
deserving of love

I need patience
Fighting for peace
But there is the silence,
The Darkening Abyss.

I used to dream
How we would kiss,
But there was that dim
And Frightening Abyss.

I used to look
For will without haste,
But You cruelly took
Me away from my place.

I used to think
That there was a thread
Which definitely linked
Mine and your head,

There was that cut
Right in the middle,
So I had to start
Resolving the riddle.

I used to dream
That you're standing near,
But things that I feel -
Are despair and fear.

I used to hope,
But now I do not,
I had to stop
Tying the knot.

How come  I mistook
My Love - with fear?
I dared not look
On my face without tears.

I tear apart
Your image within.
I knew from the start,
I never could win.
...
I need patience
To lower the risk
But there is the silence,
The Darkening Abyss.

The Darkening Abyss
Negates all my will.
Each second we kiss
My heart is in thrill…

I fall in its depths,
The Frightnening Abyss.
I can hear your steps,
Don't let go of me, please.

I fell in Abyss
And found there a thread.
The moment we kissed
I knew where it led.

Mistaken was I?
Or purely naive?
I didn't know why
I didn't just leave.

Totally captivated
Your arms within.
I doubtlessly stated -
I never could win.

Misunderstanding.
Something that you can't undo.
The biggest mistake.

I'll wave,
creating shapes with my flame,
you'll mistake yes for no
speechless for shocked
sad for emotionless.
you'll feel the heat and
assume that I'm here to burn.
you'll never see the colors I am.
I'll never be able to tell you the scents.
I'll be confined in this little glass jar.
and then?
you'll ***** me out.

If I could fold up and package all the things
I do that make you upset I would

I would carefully twist and wrap and bend and
stuff them into a grenade and set it off inside your house

The worst of me is still my best

Ignoring the thoughts of warning,
I listen to praise and ridicule,
I listen to who I seem and
Not who I am or
Who I want to be.

Ignoring the thoughts of warning,
I listen to desire and shame,
I listen to the self-evident lies
That attempt to free me from blame.

Ignoring the thoughts of warning,
Ignoring the ticking of the clock.
I delude that I have time,
And that whenever I want it will stop.
And if I ask it will extend to me its hand,
And that if I only plead,
Time shall make sure that I succeed...
Somehow.

Ignoring the thoughts of warning,
I forget my inevitable destination:
A place and time where my actions can no longer be redeemed,
A place and time
Where everything is exactly how it seemed,
And my mistakes upon mistakes
Will look out to me in shame
Behind the shoulder of my thoughts of warning
Who emphasize
That I am only to blame.

Asphyxiated
In the ashes of what I
Once mistook you for