If I could fold up and package all the things
I do that make you upset I would

I would carefully twist and wrap and bend and
stuff them into a grenade and set it off inside your house

The worst of me is still my best

Ignoring the thoughts of warning,
I listen to praise and ridicule,
I listen to who I seem and
Not who I am or
Who I want to be.

Ignoring the thoughts of warning,
I listen to desire and shame,
I listen to the self-evident lies
That attempt to free me from blame.

Ignoring the thoughts of warning,
Ignoring the ticking of the clock.
I delude that I have time,
And that whenever I want it will stop.
And if I ask it will extend to me its hand,
And that if I only plead,
Time shall make sure that I succeed...
Somehow.

Ignoring the thoughts of warning,
I forget my inevitable destination:
A place and time where my actions can no longer be redeemed,
A place and time
Where everything is exactly how it seemed,
And my mistakes upon mistakes
Will look out to me in shame
Behind the shoulder of my thoughts of warning
Who emphasize
That I am only to blame.

Asphyxiated
In the ashes of what I
Once mistook you for

maybe it was a mistake
letting you strip me naked
my body exposed and my soul bare
when you couldn't do the same

but maybe i should've been patient
and didn't let these emotions run wild
but we can't really love each other
when we haven't healed from the past
(can't i be the one to heal you?)

maybe it was easy blaming you
so i could move forward
without ever looking back
for i can't break your walls

maybe we're both at fault
all those times we said some things
we didn't mean and regretted later on
where did we ever go wrong?

maybe we didn't try hard enough
and that we gave up too soon
is it even possible, love?
to water each other and grow together?

but through all of my maybe's
and the times we hurt and get hurt
the only thing i didn't regret—
was meeting and falling for you

Chances were taken and broken were fears,
Superstitions mistaken for Bitter-Sweet tears;
Friends and illusions, well known entities
Locked once and forever in frames of a breeze.
Love taken away, mistrust and shy feels,
Perspectives on all our spiritual peers.

© All rights Reserved Theodora Oniceanu