Broken contact, what can you
say about it, do you have to
talk about missing it?

Having lost someone
who is still there, but never with you
not as it could have been

Having our own lives, you
because you decided so
and I because it is that way

If it wasn't so
we would feel
what we don't feel now

mutuality, togetherness
a sideshow though, yes
we let life flow

It can go around obstacles
it does not need any comment
and no afterword

when you left
I searched every object in my room
because maybe one of them
still contains your smell.

My innermost has been missing me,
I must get back to it,
Lately, I've been a half moon, see,
a half moon and that's it.

There's a clumsiness beneath my cerebral cortex,
A hazy and haphazard thought,
My cranuim is marrying the confused with the complex,
And so my thinking amounts to nought.

Where am I in my deafening debris?
I'm not entirely lost,
Just feeling far away from lucidity and me,
But my innermost will cover the cost.

the silence between us
deafens me
yet even in the darkness
all i know
is that there is a beating
behind these weary bones
singing just for you.

I miss breathing the same air you did
I miss happily kissing your cheeks
I miss your head on my chest and your kiss on my lips
I miss cuddling you and sleeping like a baby
I miss the way you smell when I hug you
I miss kissing the tender skin on your neck and your
changing breathe on my face
I miss your loving hands on my face
I miss kissing your soft ears
I miss kissing your sweet lips and biting them slowly
I miss hearing you sing a beautiful song
I miss dancing with you
I miss your witty jokes

sitting in my bathtub
lights dimmed low
in my hand a glass of wine
what if the water is my undoing?

it’s one of those days
on which I cannot grasp the concept
of a world without you
it’s one of those days
on which I realize
that my life has been separated
into two seasons -
warm summer nights with you
cold winter days alone.

I put my head under water
the wine glass still in my hand
trying to hold my breath a little longer than my lungs allow
imagining that I could become the water
imagining I could pour my body on the floor

And yet, my body wouldn't float
so I pour the wine into the water instead
it becomes red
and I realize
that wine
under water
will not float
but dissolve.

I carry around the
body of someone
that should have
died

After leaving I thought I knew it all,
and that’s the worst part.
Because all I ever wanted was silence
but now the silence pierces
like a dart.
And I thought I was strong to walk away
from ruins- but tell me,
does it take more strength
to walk or build, in all honesty?
And all the words I chanted to my heart
are the opposite of what I now croak
from the bottom of an empty bottle,
from the hollow of my soul,
from the redness of my eyes,
from the fullness of my mind
and every ounce of my wit
now only proclaims,
you made me a hypocrite.

hypocrite | shevaun stonem

and every night
when you steal
seconds to glance
at the moon, I
hope you slip
into hours, days of
being reminded
of me,
running through your bones,
moving like the stars,
that maybe I was
not made to be the sun,
because, perhaps,
you are,
and all I did was
reflect to show you,
that the moon was
never second best,
just a reminder of you,
when you shone
somewhere else.

i am the moon | shevaun stonem