i didn't love you.
not then and not now.

i loved the idea of what we could be, together.
somehow we'd be the ones to defy the odds.

but now? what i wish the most is to free myself from the illusion that we could ever work.

this is the end of the impossibility of us that lingers.

I see the beauty of you such as no other woman holds,
Cast in radiance and uniqueness by natures precision moulds.

And though others may not see you as my eyes perceive the view.
I live for the grace and the beauty that my dreams perceive in you.

My eyes are drawn to beauty's smile written there upon your face,
like a touch of heaven when we join in love's warm embrace.

I feel my heart skip to match the rhythm of your gentle sigh,
the softness of you near me forcing my every sense to high.

Your sensuous, delicate lips that I am so longing to know and kiss,
where my soul yet sings aloud to make a moment such as this.

I am captivated by every soft curve and all of your alluring charms,
sure my heart will know completeness with you there in my arms.

Two souls content by touching, set on lighting passion's hottest fire,
ignited by the bond of two lovers totally consumed by deep desire.

Feel of naked flesh pressed upon my own bodies now made as one,
with universe as if vanished, all else but us seemingly now gone.

Unified realm of heart, mind and soul's most contented place,
as we lose ourselves to loves inspired intoxicating embrace.

Caught and bound by love's true bond each for the other one.
who knows if one day I will find it, but until then, I dream on.

My mind is going crazy thinking about you 24/7...
Where have you gone, it's like you flashed before my eyes?
You have abandoned me, avoiding my love for you, ignoring my heart when it works hard to beat for you everyday.
I have worked with all your challenges of your mental strains...
You vanished in thin air, not even a good days hello.
I miss you,
i'm losing control, going crazy, you have become the Ghost of July.
I hope you come on soon. I need your love.

What happened to the days we'd wake up together and talk.
What happened when you couldn't wait to meet me, how i struck your eye when i was a stranger to you.
Now that you know my deep dark secrets you don't want to stay.
Didn't i tell you before you came through this door that you will never be able to fight my demons.
I guess it became to much for you...
You changed,
You changed because i remember when we would have phone calls when we weren't talking because i'd call you to find out why you weren't online.
You changed because you wanted me, you fought for me to leave others just for you and that i did.
I feel like you're slowly leaving my heart astray, is this love a silly game you like to play?
I'm waiting online for you, you haven't came on, but you come on just to tell me that your internet was out and now your grandma is sick and i said i need to go for a walk and i come home to you gone again...
waiting for you, all night to hear a good night cheer and still nothing...
Where have you gone?
What have i done?
What is the matter?
You changed, something isn't right...
Do you still love me?
If so, tell me, if not tell me...
Let me hear your heart one more time, let me see what it is you truly want from me.
Was i just being used for pleasure?...or do you truly love me?
You see, no one like's to be played with, but they do it anyway...
I'm still waiting for you, you said you'd be up a certain time and you're not.
I hope all is okay and hope what you say isn't just a lie to get away.
You Changed, for the better or for the worse...
But don't leave me astray and cast me away to the dark deep depths of loves despair.
Bury me in Ocean's tears, drag me away, if this love ends, no love will ever begin again.

What is love we speak of?...
We all search in our hearts and others for that wonderful feeling called "love"...but truly, come on...where is it?
We have this feeling as if we know what love is like or can imagine how it feels, it feels **** good.
But when we get involved with another person and want to give our all or trust unto their hearts and lock it forever somehow they seem to find a way to shatter your heart of glass.
Sweep it with your tears but it will cut your eyes and make them bleed more once you catch em cheat'n.
But why do we all become beasts filled with hatred on the one you wanted to love forever...or they do the same unto you.
We all just want to be loved, somewhere, somehow sometime...
What is love? and where is the love we want?
Other's are married and cheat'n but maybe they shouldn't of married or the one they married was really meant for you.
Sometimes the one we are in love with or should be with are so far away by distance.
Or maybe their no longer here, but we find duplicate versions of a person we can't have.
Why is love hard, love is peace but strains the heart.

dawn hangs low today, its
golden whisper faint, breath
harboured deep in thought,
its drowsy light drips
down onto the armchair

where, in his worn hands, he holds
silk-sheets and a bottle of wine, flickering
and grainy around the edges

and sitting on his bed, a woman from forever-ago
is dressed in her finest sepia, glass in hand
everyone is placid, frozen, still
for laughter will not escape this room

for this is purely a memory etched in celluloid,
a memory captured in time-withered skin
a memory that burns cold under naked-tongue,
spurred by a primal thirst and a nagging revere
for love, which has trickled away
and buried itself under lashings of trickery

and this place once dripped
with decadence, persian rugs
floating on currents of
fine champagne and amethyst

now, bottles pile up, mirrors flicker
money ebbs and flows
and he lights another pipe,
lungs heaving under
***** and avarice
and lust

love
...its final fleeting moments...
are etched only on film
blanched and faded of colour
laying parched under the oblong sun

Tinkered lullaby
Pastel my waking life
Love notes, in melodies
Score my nights
Loop endlessly
Delicate feathers
Primal heartbeats
Serenade me into insanity  

You set the tempo
I lay the drums
You do that bittersweet color
My voice will ache, though
Catch it, mood-layer
Send it
Repeat, player

Green room,  your living room
Headphones, lie on the floor
Give me your most beautiful dystopia
Inspire me, please show me more

I can’t see you, so join me in the liminal place
Melancholy, ache
Love me through the waves
Plush vibration, touch my face
Float me through your dream
Whichever path it paves

When it crests over
Your eyes are the conductor
Make my skin reach, my body rise
with the orchestra swells
We haunt and torture
Layer upon layer
I’ll never truly sleep

Drift
I'll look for you
You'll look for me
Then I hope we land.