Subtle affection to a full embrace
My heart feels incased
You didn't notice, because I gave it to you covered in lace
I love the chase

One thing they don't tell you when your older is how suppressed childhood memories will effect your life in small and big ways.

"I just haven't found the right guy," you think.

They don't tell you that once the two of you make it official, you'll leave within a week.

They don't tell you how once you kiss him, you can't even look him in the eyes anymore.

They don't tell you the gentlemanly things make you uncomfortable..

You'd rather freeze than let him give you his jacket.

You'd rather walk to your front door alone.

You'd rather open the doors yourself.

They don't tell you how his ***** hands will stop you from loving any boy.

They don't tell you that your father took your innocence at age 3,

but they sure as hell won't let you remember it.

when your parents tell you that staying in bed all day is just you being lazy and that you can't use depression as an excuse; stay in bed
when your friends always complain that you never come out but never want to hear about your problems because its depressing; find new friends
when your dad tells you that your career goals aren't real jobs; spend his money on going to school for learning how to paint
if your boyfriend doesn't spend time with you even after you told him how miserable you are; break up with him
when our job cuts your hours, find a new job
when you get the urge to dye your hair, do it
want a piercing? do it
when your doctor tells you that you are past the point of help, succeed not only for yourself but so you can rub it in their faces when you prove them wrong
when you get stuck in a rut, don't let relapsing be the outcome
always call someone for help because being 17 with depression and no one that supports you can be hard.
make new friends
tell your dad to *******
get a new boyfriend
travel
buy records
take pictures
drink with your friends
hug your mom
tell your brother how much he means
burn your collection of 39 suicide notes that you've written over the past year.
tell your best friend that she means the world to you
make sure those in your life know how important they are to you

I'm addicted to you
Just like how I'm addicted to the sadness that courses through my veins
And the cigarettes that burn my lips
And the needles that leave bruises on my skin
But of all these addictions
You'd have to be the worst to ever touch my skin

I am simply a rough caretaker of my
Temple, vessle, canvas, corpse..
Whatever it may be
There is so much more than you can see
Too much if we were able to we'd be overwhelmed
Our eyes would probably burn out of our skulls
Because among the deamons we manage to see
Angels

I don't know if there's something inside of me,
besides these bitterly sober words.
I'm falling faint, or am i just falling?
S H I T.
I have a lot of aspirations.
So much I need to do.
I need to be alive.
I need to breathe.
I need to feel normal.
I need...
A beginning to this ending feeling.

This whole l\