Up above the sky,
And then back to my heart,
There is not a thing,
Which can ever fix my heart,

Deep into the ocean,
And then back to your cruel mind,
There is nothing - just nothing
Which can ever be less kind,

But today when I smile,
It's all because of you,
For a thousand years and more,
Darling, I have loved you.

Doing what I do best, while I ball my eyes out.
I'm seeing blurred lines for real this time.
And as I grabbed a blade, I just couldn't cut.
So I balled a fist, and just couldn't hit.
I found a rope, tied it up like girl scouts,
And you know what they say:
IF THE NOOSE ******* FITS.

A million times I've wondered,
What writing a suicide note feels like.
And maybe this is it,
Because as I scrawl these words,
I feel my still beating heart
DYING IN MY CHEST.

Imagine your greatest love,
Now stand it on a stool,
Give it a piece of paper, a pen, and a piece of rope.
Now tell it you love it, so much it ******* HURTS,
And then watch it write it loves you too,
And jump off the stool FEET FIRST.

But the rope breaks,
Now you're crying, screaming at the sky,
YOU SAID I HAD A PURPOSE,
WAS IT ALL A ******* LIE?!

Is this what you wanted for your grand ******* PLAN?
Now I'm a crazy *******, talkin' to the man upstairs.
While he sits and he watched me crumble inside-out,
If you wanted me broken then you've done it,
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

No.
I'm not done, I lean right back into it, because while you may be happy,
I'M IN ******* RUINS.

I can't settle for no, it isn't my vocabulary, and so I write:
Dear Dear Diary,
I've been beaten and bruised,
Choked and abused,
But what is this sickening, tightening feeling...

I'll take a slit throat over slit dreams anyway,
A stab in the brain before a stab in the heart,
So go ahead, punch me, hurt me, cut me, **** me.
But don't take away what keeps me **BREATHING

Small flame in darkness,
You became my inferno


Your spark scalded me.

"Hah. I wish I was an alcoholic. So every now and then I could remind you all of the things that I've done for you.
All the pain & hardships that I had to go through. All the sacrifices that I had to make.
Just to have all of my expectations torn apart by you.
I wish I could twirl my whiskey the same way you twirl me with your fingers. I wish you would realised just how lucky you are.
But out of everything I wish you'd realise all of those things by yourself.
If you'd take some of your dear time out of your own problems and maybe, just maybe ask me how my day was. Cause right now I'm on the brink of going back to that 'dark' place. A point where one would consider me twisted and deranged,
The worst kind of person you could find.
Oh, how I wish you would realise every little thing that I've done and consider me more than just an option.
Don't try to deny that.
All of this time I've been nothing but committed to you.
If only you'd have realised it much sooner, I wouldn't have to leave.
All those nights when you were alone and you'd call me up and I'd try my best to be there on the line with you. All those times when you needed someone and I'd text you back in just a few minutes no matter where I was or what I was doing. All those nights I'd make sure you didn't go to bed upset. All those times I fought with people I loved & cared for, for you. All those times I did things for you without you knowing.
All those times I tried not to love you.
I want to let you onto so many things but all you give me is disappointment and heartbreaks and I can not tell you these either because I want you to figure these out yourself, how much it is that you're hurting me, and how far it is that I am willing to go for you.
I don't want to tell you these things and force you to do things for me.
I am tired of being a shadow.
I am tired.
I am tired of you.
I wish I had another toxic to help me gulp you down other than yourself."
**- Aks, Alcoholic //Naked Emotions.

Here and there,
His hands bare,
Touching her
Beneath her skin,
A new story begin...

Stop I tell you
Leave me to the ebony that is my home
Give me to the hungry
Curling fingers that bekon I say
Only a smaller ways, Iris
Only a little more

Just give us your whole
Give us the hope and we will give you peace
Give in to the thoughts that thrash
For attention
Give in the the shadows that are aching
Aching to hold you

Nobody cares
And that's okay
Give in
Stop fighting
Stop trying

Because you cannot win

Dude it is ok , the art to use it matters .

Deep they were
like a parallel universe
I felt the need to explore
though I was such a bore
she stood like the angel
but she was tangled
Bad boys like to use
but she succumbs to their tunes
I wish I was her own
because I can't live any longer on my own
give me your hand
and I'll live on my life as planned
your eyes are my salvation
even at the Times of dejection
love is strong word
but its perfect for those who are like you .

Intense emotions released
With rage, they greet
On sadness, they feast
Only then, they are please
Slowly then, they are decreased
For now, they are ceased
Will next time give warnings?
For that, I wish at least
Or will they give out unconscious roars of a beast..

~A.d | 23 Aug 2014