School has taught me a few things..

The world is beautiful
The people are cruel

The person that holds your heart
Will slip it between their hands
And squeeze it until it explodes

The teachers do not care
They're just here to get paid

Wait until you're at your worst
Then see how many friends you have

And make sure you don't stand out
Because that's socially unacceptable

I'm suffocating in a old classroom because I have a chalkboard covered with equations of me trying to figure out
Who the
****
You're talking
To
Like that

Weak I was but I'm strong know
Mind and body and my fist have an itch that can only be soothed by burying them in your face
*****
This heart that never intends harm is calling for
**ARMS

1am on a Monday.
With futurama on my TV.
But I'm paying that no attention.
Cos My mind is on something else, racing, at light speed. And
Sorrows ode is on repeat.
Meanwhile, he's unaware of what he's doing to me.
Simple complexity.
Tasteless love, bittersweet.
You're so shallow,
But you always cut me so deep.
I think now, I should go to sleep.
Hopefully, you don't haunt my dreams.

I knew every thread of you but you only guessed my stitches
Leaving bruises on my throat and my stomach and my hips in the pitch black where you couldn't see, my face was blank to your fingertips that ran down my back along the sore scratches you'd given me before and I was just trembling because I was cold
And in that night I became everything a woman feared, overwhelmed by some idea of lust to the ecstasy you threatened to give me
You shoved me deeper into the mattress stained with ash and her handwriting she left in permanent ink, but I didn't mind  
You'd remember my smell forever and shiver when you think of it
I felt nothing but bare skin though you were connected to the warmth of me, and when we were done your knees shook while I stood firm and quiet
I left your garage with a kiss on my forehead and some "promised" love I forgot about, smiling because you were unaware that I wasn't coming back
Walking home with a cigarette like any, high off of your cravings like under the sink drugs
Now you give the gift I gave to you to another girl,
how rotten and foul she'll feel after she adores the way you touched her like I did you
Though you admit that wasn't all you wanted, but I'm not haunted

These violent desires,
are what i'm trying to hide.
I dream of nothing else,
but being by your side.

These violent desires,
are what kills me inside,
as my thoughts race and eventually
come back to nothing but,
the feel of your body,
flush against mine.

These desires, violent
oh so toxic like the taste
of your lips and the feel
of your fingers,
brushing, tracing
the skin down my sides.

Leaving me with the feeling of a fragile spine

fragile,
Easily broken.

like my heart,
when you left and
said
that you didn't
love me
anymore.

His nicotine tongue was the most conniving part of his existence.
Every time it made contact with mine,
I tasted Marlboros,
the only brand he would buy.
Whatever his nicotine tongue
did to mine sent me into
a tornado of insanity each time,
like I was one of his cigarettes,
but he put me out,
stepped on me,
before I could burn his lips.
His nicotine tongue told his mouth
to speak such brutal words
that would make me
fall in love with him
over and over,
lighting me up and up,.
He had never kept me lit,
put me out before I could
trick him into thinking
"love"
could be a hole
he could also fall in.
He had carried me
around in his pocket,
his nicotine tongue
telling him to fuel his craving
and pull me out,
wrapping his mouth
around me and breathing me in
until I was no more.
But the more he
breathed me in,
the more his
nicotine tongue
started to die.
I was toxic.
He never did fall in love with me,
but I did end up
being the one to
stomp
him
out.

laying on the floor i searched for a song
one to match the pain the sorrow the fear i was facing
a song to understand the desperation
a song to understand the hurt
a song to to understand that sometimes it won't get better

walking through the streets i searched for a song
one to match the pain the sorrow the fear i was facing
a song to understand the mask
a song to understand the covering up
a song to understand that sometimes faking it won't get rid of the hurt

standing in the middle of the floor i searched for a song
one to match the pain the sorrow the fear i was facing
a song to understand the confusion
a song to understand the guilt
a song to understand that sometimes I can't take another step

but there is no song
there are no lyrics
there is no instrument
it's silence without you

you gave me a prince
then told him i wasn't his princess

you gave me a knight
then told him i wasn't worth the war

you gave me a savior
then you told him i wasn't worth saving

i loved him
i loved him even though i was too young to know what love was
i loved him
and you took him from me

"1.When he tells you he loves you forever, remember he said it to me first.
2. The days you spend in his arms, once held me.
3. My smell will still linger on him.
4. If he tells you he will always be there for you.
I want to let you to know he told me he couldn’t make me happy anymore.
5. Don’t have high hopes.
6. he’s forever was 5 freaking months.
7. he used to tell me he couldn’t stand being apart from me, ” I will never get sick of you” a week later he told me I was clingy.
8. When we were cuddling on the train, he looked at me as if I was the only star in the sky, if he ever looks at you that way
I want you to know that he doesn’t give a **** about stars.
9. All that he means to you, mean’t everything to me.
10. The fact that your nothing like me, says more about our relationship then the whole **** thing.
11. If he leaves you for another girl, don’t cry.
Remember he did it to me first."