there is only melting
melting from one day to the next
melting into each moment, to the point where
i don’t realize i’m doing something until i’m almost done with it and asking myself
“how did i even get here, to the kitchen sink to wash these dishes i was going to wash five hours ago?”
and then i remember
i actually got out of bed and walked downstairs
i am losing my mind
it’s a sickness like a tumor on the side of my soul

Love was black,
and love was white.
I though I knew -
or was I told? -
the meaning.

Told.
Told, with a rigidness.
Told, with a consequence.
Because if it's not black,
and it's not white,
it's worthless.

But then that pure white,
darkened.
But then that pious black,
lightened.
Until it was the perfect
shade of gray.

And now I forget,
The deepness of that black
And the gleam of that white,
For gray is all I know.

Snake Bite

And let me down easy but do break my heart
Otherwise I'll never know if I should chase after y'all. And the longing comes nightly, the bourbon rings twice, every time I'm out living, y'all stop me from dying. But a man is worth pennies when his work is the dirt, and I've never known forgiveness I've only ever known hurt.

With my skin on the desert, my hands cut from the piste. If a man's responsible for fire, does woman make the stream. Everything is an eyesore when plague cuts at your flock, and the shepherd is aching to be rid of his cloth, the end of evil corrupts it, the sheriff he breaks his own laws. They take all that they want, leave you to look up to the crop, you can't sustain the pains of heartache, your words shorter while you talk. So please take it away, the flat and the plains. And only fires concern them, water drowns for them and cries. I don't need no one to listen, no one to soften my eyes. I've been bit by the river, it's taken my breaths. Filled my chest full of water, brought my time to new depths. I saw the valley, and I saw the moors. I saw the valley, just tell me, will she be here tomorrow? I've seen the valley, and I've seen the moors, just please won't you tell me, will she be here tomorrow?

When I am told that mistakes are beautiful, I laugh
Because they are not.
By definition mistakes are ugly.
Beauty’s name should not be corrupted by that which we regret.
I did not want to kiss him
I did not want to break his heart
I did not want that to be the last time I saw her
I did not want to leave her there.
Mistakes do not give color to life,
They add gray, and dirt, and darkness.
But though they are not beautiful they should not be discarded.
There is a difference between beauty
And that which is worth appreciating.
Without the ugliness we wouldn’t notice
What is gorgeous.
We wouldn’t be able to tell
When we did the exact perfect thing.
And though they are often small, hidden
Amid the endless gray catastrophe of our mistakes
Our perfect moments do come
And they stay with us.

I really wanted to believe
We are enough for each other
Sometimes we peek into the future
And we become unsure
Because some nights get colder
We freeze

The thing is.. We are enough
Look back at yesterday
Look at today
Future is lust that will never be satisfied by this moment

I know sometimes
You wish you could be anything else
And I want you to fill my fate
Sit and spin
Let the sun gets old and draw the pictures for them

The mind
Has a strange way of interpreting
The eye,
Seen in color
But the meaning is black and white

A pinch of sand,
Drops of tears,
A cry of agony,
These demons inside me

There's a plethora of conflicts in society,
But it doesn't seem that they have solved any.
Now my head's going under,
Choking out a plea,
It's suffocating, I'm drowning
In this void-like sea
I'm not the only one, as unfortunate as it is
Didn't even have time to go and repent for their sins
Losing hope wondering:

Will I ever reach the surface?
Will I ever find my purpose?

There are different perspectives of life,
But nobody cares, only if they're right.

The world needs to change,
But I guess my hypocritical self has no room to say...

I've gone colorblind
Some have completely lost their sight
I'm looking through a kaleidoscope of black and white
The solution is a fight
Is there truly a winner,
'Cause we're all sinners
This ain't no childhood game
It's just a drop of gray

There's no pure, just tainted gray.

It's always good or bad,
Right or wrong,
Nothing in between
Tell me, is it genuinely as simple as it seems to be?
Did you really believe that white lie of
Being free?

Sure, my words don't matter, I'm just a kid who's doolally
Don't know 'bout politics, but it's not my fault you aren't telling me
We're just a little rebellious, the youth
Sorry, but we got no choice if you don't tell us the truth

This universe is just a
Realm of fallen angels
Turned out backs to reason
Annihilate anyone who doesn't trust in what you believe in

****** for a good cause surely justifies
No biggie, just another sacrificial life
The needs of the many outweigh the few
So if you're too weak to walk this hellish path
We'll make do without you

It's all come to this, an alliance with Hell
All because of this cursed naive spell
Of being righteous
All this to fight for us
All this to make way for us
All this to be savior to us

But that crimson stain was punctured from us
That gasoline was doused on us
That bullet was shot straight through us

Did you really help us?

Can you even say when there's poison in your mind
And fog covering your eyes?

I've gone colorblind
Some have completely lost their sight
I'm looking through a kaleidoscope of black and white
The solution is a fight
Is there truly a winner,
'Cause we're all sinners
This ain't no childhood game
It's just a drop of gray

There's no pure, just tainted gray.

When there's light, there's shadows
When there's souls, there's hollows

An absence of good
I need to take a closer look
But everything's faded
Crumbling, as if touched by Satan's hand

To create, you have to destroy
To fate, are we just a toy?

Us beings, so narrow-minded
The shining star, can't find it

Before bringing Earth to heaven, it must plunge to Hell
Won't emerge clear, angelic white
With our marks of wrong-doings

So, does noble exist in our race
Even with our black-and-white vision?
We're locked up tight
Slaves in the labyrinth prison

They give treason to slaughterers, but when pondering,
Doesn't that make them the same?
We always have opposed this, are they losing their minds
Or am I the one who is insane?

Let's just point to blame,
Become pawns to a game,
Isn't the outcome a shame?

I've gone colorblind
Some have completely lost their sight
I'm looking through a kaleidoscope of black and white
The solution is a fight
Is there truly a winner,
'Cause we're all sinners
This ain't no childhood game
It's just a drop of gray

There's no pure, just tainted gray.

I've gone colorblind
Some have completely lost their sight
I'm looking through a kaleidoscope of black and white
The solution is a fight
Is there truly a winner,
'Cause we're all sinners
This ain't no childhood game
It's just a drop of gray

There's no pure, just tainted gray.

Look back at time
When your hands were conjoined with mine

Let me see you smile again
'Cause this might me the last time I see you again

Sever this ties
We've kept too many secrets, too many lies
For what we thought was right in our eyes

Tell me again our pact
Tell me again our mission
To release the world of its temptations
To release the world of its limitations

When will that be
When I cannot set free
Of my own

I've gone colorblind
Some have completely lost their sight
I'm looking through a kaleidoscope of black and white
The solution is a fight
Is there truly a winner,
'Cause we're all sinners
This ain't no childhood game
It's just a drop of gray

There's no pure, just tainted gray.

He was a brain and he was not insane.

Nor did he like to complain.

On and off, of a stage his talents are great and fame.

So let's go get ticket's to see his way.

Many came he was shy with pink sides and gray.

No reason, to be that just show us what's under that hat!

He took of his hat, and just like that there eyes feels with grain.

Oh dear, what's that of this stage.

He is a brain, how can he be here.

No body, no soul, no solidness to take hold.

I am not me like what you want me to be
        I am here like you always wanted me to be
How could I ever be me, the me I want to be

I’m tired of you, tired of crying in the dark.
pretending at the park
                - watching people talk with voices that barks
I feared it will spark an awful reaction stark
So I build an ark -
Sailed away into far,
                      far - dream land
where prejudice & judgment is not in our hands
but in the all caring higher being's commands.

Then again reality is never like that,
So I hide, I stumble, and I fall
     into the gray solace of my patience
The higher being cares, yet you need choices
to stay strong - fight and survived
                        until blessings comes along
                                and heal the dying soulful song.

© 2013