I dance around a fire, burning too hot.
Fire I foolishly threw gasoline on.
If I take a wrong step,
misplace my footing,
I’ll surely be burned.

The warmth, a stark contrast to the cold night,
But the heat has become sweltering.
My hair has began to singe,
my feet have blistered.

Every crackle threatens an explosion,
At any moment it’ll combust,
but still I continue to dance.

They’re just things, they said. They can be replaced.

30-year-old handwritten letters from friends.
Photos of a place that no longer exists.
The stuffed animal that had a name.
The quilt grandma sewed for me.

You have your memories, they said.

But my possessions were the keys to my mind’s drawers.
My old life is locked away.
I can't see it now,
through the smoke and flames.
I can't smell it,
only the  poisonous odor of melting vinyl.
I can't hear it,
just the crackling and crashing of the trees.

You’re lucky to be alive, they said.

But I'm having trouble proving I'm alive.
I have no passport, drivers license or diploma.
No utility bill,  birth certificate, or computer hard drive.
No Social Security card.

Some have it worse than you, they said.

Some always have it worse.
I didn't lose a husband, mother or child.
Just my cats. I thought they would follow me out the door
but they ran in the other direction.
I try to think of them in the forest somewhere,
climbing trees, and
not as charred bones.

Fires igniting all around,
Burning and destructive.
And they’re in my heart, too,
Burning through the outer layers,
All the way to the core of my fear.

Fear of losing this comfortable life,
This reality where I sit calmly, routinely
Eat in peace and barely check
The news. Where the air quality isn’t
A problem, and where all of this
Goes away.

I guess the core of the fear is this, isn’t it -
Losing the routine, the comfortable,
The mundane. Feeling scared for
Loved ones, even though I know
Nothing will happen, right?
It’s too far away (getting closer), right?

The crisis in California is heartbreaking and it certainly is dire.
I donated $20.00 to the American Red Cross to help the victims of the wildfires.
I donated and I encourage you to donate too.
It will certainly be a kind thing for you to do.
The situation is horrible and there is no doubt.
Please donate to these people to help them out.

Strike me down baby,
Strike me down.
Take me to the dance floor,
Let me see the fire in your eyes.
Move with that passion,
I yearn to see.
I'll catch you if you fall,
While pouring your heart out.
So while were still young,
Move those hips.
And hit me up,
Looking good,
Looking fly,
Looking like I might just have to try,
Something crazy to be your guy.
Don't leave me hanging baby,
Your wild fire tames me.
So do the ballet,
Of the modern world,
Let me watch while you twirl.
And leave me lusting,
Once again.

stole my heart from an empty place –
our love is a battlefield;
fighting not to kiss one last time,
and making me feel like I’m in love
before I even kindled those very sparks –
                              my chest is your fireplace.

“Come on”
    “Shut up”
         “Behave”
   when one day I burst into flame
     when every notebook I held burned up
           when dusty soot from attempts at art
                                                        just flew away
blinded by the pain
       it’s difficult to see
when every bed is flammable
                       it’s difficult to sleep
       enough sleep deprivation would
                                     drive anyone insane
“Don’t play the victim”
              “Don’t ask for pity”
      “Stop your constant complaints”
                      “Don’t give the fire
                                     power of mind
                                         allow it to grow
                                            into its own entity”
alive but aflame
   hiding with all my might
            they kept asking more
                                  “Be normal”
                                            "Helpful"
   ­                         “Smile for ***** sake ”
               while every glimpse of real
                          gave them a fright
when I in desperation sought
                        for water
                  at any cost
   just make the pain stop
                  while their words
                          created drought
in my life
  of burning flesh
      I kept trying to forget
                                start fresh
                got so good at pretending
                             invisible flames
            my life slowly ending
                 just not aloud
    my silence during emergency
             made them proud
when there was barely any left
  turned to dusty soot myself
     turned mute
        I dropped to my knees
                        I begged
they didn’t waste any time
         before saying
                                  “You have to understand,
                    everyone gets a little hot sometimes”

lately life feels like an invisible fire,
doused in methanol,
hot on my heels.

so, Vigiles, lay into me a firebreak,
right down my spine,
quench the fiery blood.

make me a dormant hearth full of cinder,
promise me to colder nights.

just don't forget to bring a match,
i'll be the spark to your thatch.

I am not single
I am haunted
I am not in a relationship
With you
I am haunted by your
Touch
As this will make my
Skin crawl
In the good way
I am haunted by your
Love and your loving
As we make love
Again
And you bury your face into me
I become demonically possessed
I become haunted again
I am haunted by everything you do for
Me as  you do me sweetly and wanted do me again
Tell me that you love me
To exorcism my demons of love
And of passion
As we lock lips
Please free me sweetly
From my haunted  state
As you haunted me
Body
Mind and
Soul
I just hope
That I haunt  you as you
Haunted me
Let me be in love and fall in the fire of your love
Let the flames lick my skin
As you ravage me sweetly
Make love to me
Sweetly
It is the only way
I can get out this insanity