My mother once told me

you can't erase what you write in ink.

I'm afraid I did not think

when I instead wrote in my own blood and tears,

reciting my worst fears.

Yet all I did was sit and watch as they

refused to go away.



Somehow I could not get their faces out of my home.

So I called to you as I let them roam,

and you told me that if I just waited,

that the monsters I created

would eventually be filled with hatred.

They would surround my mind,

wait until I was blind,

then stab my glowing soul,

until there was nothing but a dark hole. 



I eventually killed them,

leaving no water and no air

until they were shriveled and frail.

They seemed unable to grow,

with the numbing snow.

It seems as though,

you never really wanted me,

and were just here for the show.

And once those monsters disappeared,

all signs of your existence cleared.

I sometimes wonder 

if I just made you up, or if somehow

when you dragged me out of my darkness I left you under.

I like to read love and fiction
To escape my own restrictions
I don't know if I can sound out
All of the screaming and crying

Close the door but do not lock it
If they find out they might lose it
Yell at you and grab you tightly
Better to pretend that you are numb

Play the music quite and softly
They won't hear when I pause it
Wanting for that single moment
When they say its time to end it



© Sofia Villagrana 2020