There are days,
when she feels lost in the universe
that exists in her mind;
overthinking herself to oblivion.

There are days,
when she feels she is downing
in the depths of her thoughts.
Drowning in the sea of her emotions,
tears turning into high tides
destroying peace of mind.

Night bleeds into morning
Sun dissolves the moon

She wants to come out for a breath
and just breathe the light air.
Feel the lightness of it,
as it enters her lungs -  
the simplicity of it.

She is losing more of herself.

“Please, I am drowning. I am suffocating. I am fading. This is my plea for help that breezes on your skin ever so silently. There is only darkness. There is nothing. No one. You tell me you’re there, but I can’t see you. You tell me you’re there to listen, but there is no ear. You tell me you are going to stay, but I see you leaving. Is it because it is too much for you?
You’re going through nothing. You’re life is perfect. You’re going to be fine. It doesn’t feel like nothing. It feels heavy. Heavy on the mind and heart. Scarring and wounding. Re-wounding and never healing. It’s not nothing. It is more than something. And maybe it would be fine if you .

You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me

But

You left me
In the middle of the road,
Knowing that I would come running back to you.

You left me
Stranded in an open sea,
Knowing that I would swim endless miles for you.

You left me
Thousand miles up in the air,
Knowing that I would come crashing down to you.

You left me
In the midst of a solar fire,
Knowing that the ignition in my heart will last forever.

Slowly becoming conscious of the fact that I was indeed
Lost
In
Reality

Running back to your arms,
Just to see you holding someone  
With the very same hands you pushed me away with.

Swimming endless miles,
And finding myself
Drowning in my own tears.

Flying thousand miles up in the air,
And realizing
That I was crashing down to rock bottom

Stuck in the center of a solar fire,
Being oblivious to the fact  
That it would turn me wild
And burn me alive

Red, yellow and blue
Never have I thought  
That I would be able to see something
So dangerous yet so beautiful  

Oh to what surprise
I was just blinded  
By your flame
And the words you spoke

You’ve got me under your spell

Captivated by your beauty
And enthralled in your whole being

Just let me go
Take your hold off of me
Begging and pleading
Take your spell off of me.

And finally,
I awake
From the spell that you have cast unto me.

You are the worst thing that has ever happened to me

the people
the.. bodies
the humans..
the faces,
too many
too many faces.

I thought maybe I would be okay,
that I can do this on my own,
but my mind betrays me once again,
my lungs and heart go faster than I can carry them.

there's no way out,
I'm in too deep
yes I'm drowning

but nothing
can save me .

I closed my eyes and plugged my nose.
Water filling in my ears,
And coming out as blood.
Ringing and getting louder,
When all I want is silence.
My toes can’t touch.
My heart begins to seize  
I’m sinking deeper and deeper
I can no longer see the sun.
I’m sinking deeper and deeper.
The water fills my lungs.
I’m sinking deeper and deeper
And I can’t swim my way up.
My mouth opens and water pours in.
I’m choking and coughing
But I’m not all at once.
It burns inside my chest,
Like a hell inside my lungs.
I close my eyes and sing to myself
That I’m sinking deeper and deeper
And there’s nowhere to run.
There’s an irony to this that
You may not understand.
But these bricks tied to my feet
Just hit the oceans sand.
Its okay now my dear
The feeling is gone.
Just know that when your drowning
There’s nowhere to run.

i'm drowning
under the weight of our goodbye,
knowing i'll never
catch my breath again.

Cannot catch my breath
Trying to come up for air
I drowned in your eyes

It feels like I’m in an ocean
And I’ve forgotten how to swim
And all my fears are tied to my ankles
And I’m sinking, no drowning
Reaching towards the surface
But grabbing nothing but the air escaping from my lungs