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annieohk Sep 21
I remember
Our last words
Etched in my brain
And on my heart
You kept saying my name
Over and over
But I couldn’t answer
I couldn’t tell you
How much I cared
Because I knew
You didn’t
I wonder if you heard
My tears falling
As we said goodbye
For the last time
You made promises
You never intended
To keep
And I knew it
I knew we were over
Before we’d even begun
Because that’s the way
You wanted it
But not me
I wanted it to go on
annieohk Sep 21
I can see all the messes
In my life
The ones I made long ago
And the ones
Other people made
Of my life
Of my innocence
Of my trust
And I want to scream
With the injustice
Or perhaps exact revenge
But those chances are long past
Covered over by years of secrets
Lies, and therapy
I really have moved beyond
The pain
But every now and then
The trigger will come
My skin will crawl
And I’ll despise you
All over again
annieohk Sep 21
Someone called me fickle once
In high school
I had to look the word up
In the dictionary
And I didn’t agree
With their assessment
Unsure, yes
Unconfident, always
But fickle? No.
I just wanted
To be liked
You were the fickle one
annieohk Sep 20
I wish you had cared for me
one-tenth of what I  cared for you,
but the feelings were one sided
and all mine

Sometimes I wonder if you
still have that silly poem I wrote for you,
full of crazy phrases meant to sound clever
rather than insane

They were supposed to make you laugh
and feel happy, not uncomfortable
odd how I never kept a copy
and now the words are lost to me

I wonder if you
still fly the skies
or did someone finally clip your wings
and become your one and only?

I wish it had been me
I’ve grown up so much since then
and I keep trying to picture you now
with gray hair, like mine
annieohk Sep 20
I write poetry for me
And sometimes for you
So you may feel what I feel
And perhaps see the world through my eyes
There are stories to tell
And sweet sentiments to share
So many chaotic thoughts trip through my mind
But they never become a poem
Because the words won’t come together
They swirl and collide and bubble up
From the depths of my soul
Destined to remain separate and nonsensical
I desire the eloquence of thoughts expressed
With truth and light and meaning
I want to scream what’s trapped inside
But how can I make anyone understand
When I don’t understand myself?
annieohk Sep 19
hello old friend, silvery moon
you wrap around me with fingers of misty radiance
I feel cold and warm at the same time
you light the night like a beacon
coaxing ocean tides to wax and wane
your glow catches the new fallen snow
and my eyes behold millions of minuscule diamonds
sparkling just for me
is there anything you can’t do?
your power assaults my senses
as you throw a trail of gleaming light over the waters
I tread upon your soft lit path
mindful of the shadows you cast before me
your fullness lights my way
yet I stumble in your crescent dimness
you seem a fickle friend at times
illuminating a romantic evening
or hiding behind storm darkened clouds
still, even now I long for your next appearance
to bathe my face in your luminosity
and cast your magic upon me once again
annieohk Feb 20
I’ve traveled so many roads in life
some dusty and forlorn
some paved and serene
I’ve climbed mountains
to see where eagles soar
but it’s the places in my heart
the ones I keep secret, just for myself,
that I’ve learned the most from
how to breathe and how to let go
when to hang on and when to give up
trying to grasp the next level of growth
before it slips away into the mist
with eyes wide open my soul yearns, straining
to see tomorrow’s hidden promises
and yesterday’s lessons learned
when we get it right, we know it
and when we’re wrong, we try to justify
and cover our transgressions
so no one else will know
as though we could ever forget
we were once so immature and selfish
I always see better in the cold light of morning
or the still, quiet moments of night
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