i drowned once and to this day i still struggle to come up for air.

Do you ever want to down?
Like, just ******* drown.
Maybe someone could hold me down
It feels good to drown

I am forced to make the bad decisions
like there was no option for good
I know it's self sabatoge
But man it feels good

You see,
The effort is the stressor

So hold me down
Please hold me down
I don't want to think right now

Because if you don't hold me down



I'll swim  



For how long?

-don't know.

Where?

-don't know.

Will I make it?

Will anyone care?


If I try to swim and don't make it, will anyone care?

Or

--wait---

I mean ridicule.
Will they ridicule me?

See,
That's why I need you.

Because it's all on you.
It's not my fault if I drown
If your hand pushes me down

I'll think about the stars I'll never see
I wouldn't see them regaurdless

Blacked out reality is quite easy
Swishing dreams in my mouth is easy


...


But if your arm gets tired
And I'm too hard to sink
Maybe we could swim together?

All the words that I wanted to say,
a re gone
I need to take a deep breath and calm down.
But I can't.
The look in your eyes are drowning me.
I can only think of one thing.
And that is pressing my lips against yours.

I can feel it in my chest

When I see her face
When I hear her name

If her face was mine
And my body was fine

Would you pull me up when I sink below the two metre diving line?

a little bit lost again
in between
narrating selves
searching
or just being
waving
or
drowning
from the
middle
of the sea
Nothing
but everything
At once.