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Sarah M Gillihan Dec 2014
My mind is wasted

On disgrace and hate

My life moves

At a 100 mile rate

I want to find an exit

But the highway just goes on

My heart beats fast

And everything seems wrong

I’m a skinny little nothing

A failure at the least

I’m dead at the most

I couldn’t defeat the beast
Sarah M Gillihan Dec 2014
I am lost

I am numb

When I cut,

The pain…

It never comes

So I slice my skin

Watch the blood run down

My mutilated arm

I hear noises

But there is no sound

I feed the addiction

Then I go to sleep

I wake up with a jolt

I roll over and weep

I’m suddenly angry

I hate the whole world

Alone with my thoughts

Hate

Hate

Hate

Hate

I hate myself

But now I’m late

I’m skipping class

I don’t want to face

My teachers

For their eyes

Will flood with disappointment

I’m a failure

I know

I am a disappointment

I’m scared

But my fears

Are stupid

And irrational

The thought of death

I can’t even fathom

But the thought of life

It haunts me at night

What comes with tomorrow?

The light after the night

I scream in my head

My thoughts are so loud

My thoughts are so fast

I act

My feelings

Sorrow filled

Cutting again

My blood is spilled

The bipolar addiction

My feelings in a whirl

I can’t control

The monster

In this girl

I’m stuck in confusion

I’m out of my mind

I’ve lost track of time

I’m stuck on rewind

I am lost

I am numb

When I cut,

The pain…

It never comes.
Sarah M Gillihan Dec 2014
I’m fighting this war

Behind my closed door

I sit on the floor

It’s happening more

More than before

It eats at my core

Behind my closed door

It’s a painful ****** war

I look at the clock

It’s late

And I can’t stop

I rock

Tears falling from my face

And I can’t stop

I slice

I burn

And pick up the pace

There’s no more flesh

Just a river of red

The pain is unbearable

So I crawl into bed

It’s 8 o’clock

I head to school

Wearing long-sleeved shirts

Because I am so cruel

Cruel to my mind

And more to my body

It’s an endless war

That I won’t win

Behind my closed door

Let the night begin.
Sarah M Gillihan Dec 2014
Here lies a broken girl

With broken dreams

In a broken world

With a broken heart

That refuses to start

What a lonely broken girl



Here I lay

And here I’ll stay

In this ugly broken world.
MysteryBear Nov 2014
In and out
Breathe
Stay strong
I'm trying
Stop cutting
Be a good girl
Smile
I can't
Hopeless
Waste of space
Disgrace
*I know
The regular font is a person who doesn't understand depression and addiction. The italicized is the depressed person's answers.
Abdullah Ayyash Oct 2014
Spears from eyes
Devour your face
Repeal reality of you
Layla Thurman Sep 2014
I could bend over backwards
to make you happy
and you'd still spit in my face

I could spend all my life
trying to please you
and still be standing in the same place

Nothing I've done
has ever made you love me
I'm sorry I'm such a disgrace
I often think of how you must have felt on that eventful day
it must have caused such turmoil in your mind.
You preach of love and loyalty to your father up above
but there was no one who treated you in kind.

Instead you battled prejudice from those you deem to love,
a love that was not plied upon to you,
disloyalty was so pronounce you must of looked to God above
but towards your flock no sediment did stew.

Of those you taught, who turned away announcing they new not
this good and holy prophet in his hour of need.
Allowing all and sundry to pronounce throughout the land,
that to eradicate this man they should indeed.

Your followers fled from you in fear for their own,
should they be of preference to gain?
They watched as humiliation and defacement were applied
and refused upon direction to utter out your name.

It was not until you died upon the crucifix that day
did your followers decide to turn and face the torrents flow
and pronounce to one and all of the mistake that they had made
by announcement of their Lord that they did know.
2011
Shaded Lamp Jul 2014
The Sun fell down on us that morning

Feeding every living being with its radiant caress

My dog, his tail wagging

Like a metronome set to a Milonga beat

From the open windows of the neighbourhood

The scent of coffee and cinnamon

And idle conversation

The occasional baby cry and little dog yapping

A perfect Swedish Sunday morning for some

But I

I had nothing but death on my mind

The morning grew hot

Too hot for a dog and his mad English man

Back to the double glazed cave

I had something unpleasant to attend to
Part 3 cometh as soon as grow some ***** or I know how to write it
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