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Alan S Bailey Feb 2015
Above and beyond the clouds of my endless sky,
I found a "small challenge" to finding my sweet,
She'd gone away to College and found a cute guy,
This is the reason each day I do not happily greet.

My joy is an illusion, I hide myself from the pain,
I beat this image out of my mind again and again and
Again. But still it returns-her and him-hell I've not even
Seen his face but I can imagine mine like a dismal disgrace.

I confess to the world I am a failure at best,
I had your hand, your heart but failed your test,
And now I am put back in my box to rust and to rot,
To be happy at the bottom is worse than sad at the top.
Remedy Jan 2015
I was needed by one person.
They used me to clean up their mess,
to protect others from seeing.
I absorbed their blood, their mood swings,
everything about them that others hated
but I loved.

They tossed me, without a second thought,
on the street for others to laugh at.
Without knowing whose blood stained me,
they saw someone used up to the point
of being nothing but a disgrace to the public eye.

After everything I did for you,
you simply used me and left me to be judged
like a ****** on the sidewalk.
I legitimately saw a used ****** on the sidewalk of a shopping district, and this is what I thought of.
The Unknown Jan 2015
He wonders  what's wrong
but I cannot tell him
No dad, it’s not my friends, it’s that place
the temple where I feel like a disgrace
I thought I would rather die than go there
then your words make me feel so scared
No dad, it’s not my friends, it is you
making me do things I don’t want to do
You don’t even try to understand my shade
That is what makes me feel so afraid
Sarah M Gillihan Dec 2014
My mind is wasted

On disgrace and hate

My life moves

At a 100 mile rate

I want to find an exit

But the highway just goes on

My heart beats fast

And everything seems wrong

I’m a skinny little nothing

A failure at the least

I’m dead at the most

I couldn’t defeat the beast
Sarah M Gillihan Dec 2014
I am lost

I am numb

When I cut,

The pain…

It never comes

So I slice my skin

Watch the blood run down

My mutilated arm

I hear noises

But there is no sound

I feed the addiction

Then I go to sleep

I wake up with a jolt

I roll over and weep

I’m suddenly angry

I hate the whole world

Alone with my thoughts

Hate

Hate

Hate

Hate

I hate myself

But now I’m late

I’m skipping class

I don’t want to face

My teachers

For their eyes

Will flood with disappointment

I’m a failure

I know

I am a disappointment

I’m scared

But my fears

Are stupid

And irrational

The thought of death

I can’t even fathom

But the thought of life

It haunts me at night

What comes with tomorrow?

The light after the night

I scream in my head

My thoughts are so loud

My thoughts are so fast

I act

My feelings

Sorrow filled

Cutting again

My blood is spilled

The bipolar addiction

My feelings in a whirl

I can’t control

The monster

In this girl

I’m stuck in confusion

I’m out of my mind

I’ve lost track of time

I’m stuck on rewind

I am lost

I am numb

When I cut,

The pain…

It never comes.
Sarah M Gillihan Dec 2014
I’m fighting this war

Behind my closed door

I sit on the floor

It’s happening more

More than before

It eats at my core

Behind my closed door

It’s a painful ****** war

I look at the clock

It’s late

And I can’t stop

I rock

Tears falling from my face

And I can’t stop

I slice

I burn

And pick up the pace

There’s no more flesh

Just a river of red

The pain is unbearable

So I crawl into bed

It’s 8 o’clock

I head to school

Wearing long-sleeved shirts

Because I am so cruel

Cruel to my mind

And more to my body

It’s an endless war

That I won’t win

Behind my closed door

Let the night begin.
Sarah M Gillihan Dec 2014
Here lies a broken girl

With broken dreams

In a broken world

With a broken heart

That refuses to start

What a lonely broken girl



Here I lay

And here I’ll stay

In this ugly broken world.
MysteryBear Nov 2014
In and out
Breathe
Stay strong
I'm trying
Stop cutting
Be a good girl
Smile
I can't
Hopeless
Waste of space
Disgrace
*I know
The regular font is a person who doesn't understand depression and addiction. The italicized is the depressed person's answers.
Abdullah Ayyash Oct 2014
Spears from eyes
Devour your face
Repeal reality of you
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