I want to share
I want to give and receive
I want to dare
I want to leave.

Downfall
                Reminding you
Downstairs
                Surrounding you
Don't crawl
                Following you

Perfect house  
                Blinding you
Polarising pictures
                Mesmerizing you
Pieces of a lie
                Trapping you



© Sofia Villagrana 2020

i feel new,
i no longer have chains holding me down,
i no longer feel like i have to take my time,
hold my tongue; be a good girl now,

i feel new,
i can stretch my arms i won't me a brick wall,
taunting me; i want out but they hate when i am free,

i feel new,
i can feel the sun on my skin, the rain on my lips,
the wind in my hair, the love in your kiss,

i am new,
no longer in the past,
i am the future,
i'm more than happy with that.

Why chase your ideal view of perfection
You can have a bronze tongue disguised in silver
A bond built on brokenness that is never a whole
All the answers to the questions you view as important
But never have the answers to the questions asked
Hopeful but desperate for a silver lining
Sad but happy with how I am contributing
Not feeling I am doing enough
Complacent.Lost..Happy?

And when the only toxic thing left is you
Do you cut it out like they say to
The way you’ve been doing to them
Excusing bluntness in the name of self advocacy
Hiding your self hatred with self care
No face mask can remedy your thoughtlessness
Girl
you used to be liked
used to be genuine
Girl

Who are you

you never gossiped like this
this isn’t confidence
You all denial and defensiveness
This isn’t the change you want to make

Kiss me & wrap me in the discovery
Of the night.
My tongue kneels in search of yours
Soon to combust & counteract in the stars of the night.
In everything that is you,
This part of the night exclusively mine
Reserved to be devoured in greed
My consciousness expanding inside yours.
Kiss me & wrap me in deep discovery
My tongue overlapping the minutes & seconds you weren't around
Salivating in a single moment sat aside
Just for us
Our eyes both closed caught in the
****** of stars
This dark not like the rest.
This part of the night reserved for us
Forever grateful to experience a part
Of you far away from the rest of the world
To explore myself with you in full
This ****** governs the ****** of stars
Between you & I
Until the brightest spark between
You & I
Erases all darkness

Coalesced in unwavering thoughts
Simmering, glimmering, twinkling
It’s been awhile since I took a vacation

Tangled up with current happenings
Unable to forego the bruising scars
Here I go

Days of remembrance and existence
Swing past me;
but no more drowning
in sorrow

For I morph stronger,
beaming in plight
standing much longer

Scattered in unwarranted plots
Shimmering, twisting, linking
It’s quite awhile until I take a vacation