I fall before an onyx sky
Sharp winds whisper anxious words in my ears
Freezing tendrils coil around my limbs
Along the horizon, a brilliant glow
A smile so bright it cracks the twilit welkin
I reach out for the light,
I feel the heat against my trembling flesh,
Warm eyes pierce through me,
Melting my chains
Laughter, so soft and easy
Muffles the whispers
I hold my breath, I wait for the pain
It does not return,
I stand on shaking legs,
Let the light absorb into my skin
Breathing life through my veins
I turn my back on the shattered pieces of the onyx sky

---

If you read my last post you
know that I was in a relationship
which has ended. I was devastated.
I have been writing about how
depressed I have been.

That was before I watched a YouTube video of a sermon given by
Bill Johnson. It was about resting and
abiding in God. After viewing this i went outside onto my porch and talked to God. Never before had HIS LOVE for me been so palpable.
Or His voice so clear.

My dear friends. He has a plan and purpose for everything that happens to us. We are being systematically tried and purified to be inspired and blessed to have HIM in our hearts and minds. Our very lives are at stake.

Events will be taking place that will try our very SOUL. We MUST be prepared! We must be very strong to survive. Not only physically. But our souls must be prepared as well.

The devil has been sitting on me.
He's a fire that has been heating up my mettle. He has been pounding me. With doubt. Denial. And DECEIT. Telling me that I am not good enough. That I am bipolar and will never get better. But I am a sleeping giant! Not in myself. Never that. But the God I serve is awesome beyond comprehension!

These are things I have done with him working through me.

A woman with double phnemonia, strep throat and "incurable" bronchitis brought on by asthma
was healed overnight.

A woman with chronic depression was healed as I watched her start to giggle then LAUGH OUT LOUD! Holy laughter seemed to bubble up in her and she was healed!

My dad (who says he is an atheist) was cured of cancer. He's been cancer free for six years!

I've said the prayer of Salvation with a man who was a "Devil's Disciple".
A notorious motor cycle gang. He had killed three people. I saw him change before my eyes as the demons left him! He nearly fell off his chair. And this hardened man wept in my arms for 10 minutes afterwards.

The list goes on. NOT ANYTHING THAT I DID... EXCEPT I WAS TOTALLY SOLD OUT TO GOD AND ALLOWED HIM TO WORK THROUGH ME!

My name is Catherine Jarvis. I'm a SoulSurvivor. *And VICTORIOUS!!!

At end of old day  .  .  .
White butterflies disappear,
  .  .  .  Wings return in morn.

Let me be reborn.
I live in the Fire,
And I dream of the River.

I struggle.
The battle within me rages,
Each side fighting for control,
The Darkness has temptations,
But the Light will make me whole.

I never know whom to trust,
Which side of me they'll see,
Oh the Darkness has temptations,
But it'll be the death of me.

I live my life as if for the Dark,
But try my best to cling to Light,
Oh the Darkness has temptations,
But I want to do what's right.

I have learned to follow Light,
And I'm smart enough to know,
Tho' Darkness has temptations,
The Light is what I shall sow.

Along side the hills I drive
Wondering about the night before me
Where the moon will rise high
And my eyes will widen
Oh sweet diminished claim you've scooped me up again

Were my friends aware of my altercation
Behind my eyes and beneath the surface?
All the while searching for a soul to ask me
About the unexplained and my heart on days before
Swept away so long ago

A whisper quiet asked me if the few around
Could hold a knife in the name of what is right
Or dance away in disbelief
While I mop my self up and off the side walk
Curious about my breath and vision
-
I've walked this far and come along way to even consider turning back
The night has been long
But that is how it should be

The moon rose high
And my eyes were widened
Surrounded by the game
I walk away to find a pen

I’m a witness of a love that is so pure and true
The same love without which there would be no me and you.
I’m a witness to the strength of its transforming power
Reviving and illuminating my darkest hour

I’m a witness of a touch that is killing, yet healing
Piercing through the flesh, it reaches the marrow with affection
Exploring intents and refining heart’s decisions
A touch is a touch but this one heals emotions

I’m a witness of a heart with large room for my weakness
Never accommodating sin but rebuking in meekness
Making available mercy in its realness
My heart is at rest cause His heart is my sweetness

I’m a witness of a savior whose love I cannot compare
He mend my broken heart and took away my despair
And now He protects me, even my every strand of hair.
He and I, what an insuperable pair.

I’m a witness of Jesus; the savior of me
Once on a cross He hung up high to set me free
And free I have been ever since.
As long as I live, on the Crossyde I’ll be.