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Magnuda Nov 2019
When I let the wrong people in,
It was the world’s most foolish sin,
They're gone now but there’s this stain,
A hard reminder that fights to remain.

I’ve tried to walk away but it won’t leave.
I tried to change it; but it won’t believe.
I’ve tried to sleep it off, but it still haunts me.
I’ve tried to move on, but still it taunts me.

It ***** on every success, on every joy,
Like my misery is it's favorite toy,
It hangs on all the fears I try to best,
The party is over, but it is still my guest.

I look to the future, to years down the road,
Maybe I can finally turn a corner on this load,
That has hooked its claws on my spine,
Telling me that I will never be fine.

Please leave me be, I beg it every day,
Hoping that it will finally find another way,
To express itself, to help me finally see it through,
So it can stop ruining everything that I do.

I will plot against it, as it screams in my ear,
Within the last few days that are left in this year,
I will turn it on its' head, and I will bring it about,
I will find a way to dress the wound and rub it out.
Magnuda Jun 2019
The One I Seek

When my heart was ready, when I came of age,
I left my parent’s nest, to find a beautiful stage,
I found the perfect spot, in a very lovely tree,
To sing my little song, so my True Love could hear me.

Singing for the one that I seek,
The one that I seek
The one that I seek.

Many birds were singing, and a few answered me,
Many were very sweet but not my true love to be,
One cool afternoon, a song could be heard all around,
I finally saw her, a Cowbird with lovely feathers brown.

Singing that you were the one that I seek
The one that I seek
The one that I seek.

Your song was so merry, so high, so sweet
Your words and soft nature a gentle treat
Could you be the one that I seek?
Was it truth coming out of your beak?

Singing that you were the one that I seek
The one that I seek
The one that I seek.

A nest I had built, my heart was nestled there,
The love for my true love laid open and bare,
With the rush of winter coming, your notes did sway,
So I didn’t see you trying to roll my heart away.

Singing that you were the one that I seek
The one that I seek
The one that I seek.

I was alone so welcomed your lovely song,
Ignoring everything that told me that this was wrong,
You put your needs in my nest, saying they were mine,
I was so lost, I believed what was toxic was just fine.

Singing that you were the one I seek
The one I seek
The one I seek

Then my True Love appeared, from the warm south,
You did your best to take her words from her mouth.
That you were there first, that she would have to share,
That your needs came first, that it would be fair.

Singing that you were the one I seek
The one that I seek
The one that I seek.

I did my best to make it work, despite the heavy strain,
Nothing was good enough, proving your love was pain,
You tried to run my life and made all my friends flee,
If you were my True Love, why did you do this to me?

While singing that you were the one that I seek
The one that I seek
The one that I seek.

You thought you had it under control, had it your way,
That we would do what you wanted, to do as you say,
You dismissed her size, you so didn’t see her strike,
It was never you Cowbird; for my True Love is a Shrike.

And now you have a thorn driven through your cheek,
Through your cheek,
Through your cheek.

Farewell Cowbird, your lies were never to be enough,
Your sweet notes were misleading, your song but a bluff,
My eyes are open, and my mind is finally clear,
I sing my own song, for my True Love to hear:

That she is the one that I seek,
The one that I seek,
The one that I seek.
Magnuda Jun 2016
I had fallen down hard this time,
Found myself at the bottom of it all,
When somewhere past the void,
I heard my own future call.

It struck a chord in me,
Unexpected but I could feel,
My hidden heart made of flint,
Fate struck like it's ever present steel.

Again, again, again, and again,
Round, and round, and round,
How much I tried to lock myself up,
Life refused to let me be bound.

Wrapped up in my past,
I did my best to hide,
I was never going to be enough,
Trying to escape in the shadow of pride.

I was buried in the frozen earth,
Knowing some day Spring would come,
So I clung to my old shell,
When I felt the world start to hum.

Begin, Begin, Begin and again,
The sacred circle was never broken,
Fleeting dreams tumble away,
As the sacred words are spoken.

Though scars will be left behind,
My feet still find their place,
My tired heart beats again,
My Will returns to it's relentless pace.

My goal was finally achieved,
and my atonement was past,
The Day is finally beginning to dawn,
The empty night was not meant to last.
Magnuda May 2016
She spends her day wondering if I wonder about her.
And I do...
How my mind wanders all day back to her,
How her body wraps around mine when I cuddle her in bed,
How elegantly she walks;
How gorgeous she is when she stops stopping herself.
How she looks when she walks out of the bedroom in the morning.
How shy she looks when she wants affection,
How furious she is when someone is being wronged,
How sweet her kisses are when she's missed me,
How focused she is when she's working on a project,
How she folds herself about when she's sleeping,
How she throws herself into everything that she does,
How she makes me feel when she's in my arms.
She who loved me when I felt I couldn't be loved anymore.
She who stood by me in the wake of my madness.
She who waited when I told her I needed to finish my work.
She who wants to just collapse against me when the day is done.
She who wants to have a home for all of our Loves.
She who wants to bring beauty and happiness to the world.
She who makes my heart sings when she sings.
She who healed me in ways I thought I could heal anymore.  
She who wants to wander the earth with me and mine.
She who I seek when the thunder is rolling so she's safe.
She who I feel is genuinely by my side at all times.
She who I feel has been in my dreams as long as I've dreamed.
I find myself waking up from a sleep that kept me for years,
Eyes widening every day
To see everything in the glory that it is around me.
The glory of her presence in my life.
I know she is mine from how her hands twists into mine.
She is mine.
I am her's.
We are ours.
Magnuda Aug 2015
And within a moment's notice,
his whole life exploded,
everything was on fire.
Everything he knew,

And in that moment,
he realized,
that the only way to survive,
was to become one with the Flames.
Magnuda Apr 2015
The flames of the past,
Stand to bellow out good steam,
To fill future sails.
  Mar 2015 Magnuda
Waiting for what is dead will **** you.

Tears cannot bring them back - only blur your vision
Time will not heal them - only dulls the awareness of their absence

Bury them, lay lilacs, sit shiva to mourn, and live on.
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