You used to say my eyes were beautiful right before
splitting me open, groin to gullet.

(Do you still think I’m pretty, baby? Don’t you wanna tell me how
sober I look? Don’t you miss my mouth?)

Eyes wide shut, I watched April disappear in a
blur of bite-sized catatonia.

(Tell me how good I feel. Don’t you miss my blood
on your sheets? Pin my arms back, baby, just for old time’s sake.)

The last time I saw you, you avoided my gaze.
I was lucid for that much.

(Oh, I know you can’t help yourself, baby.)

Tell me again how beautiful my eyes are, love.
We both know how much I like it rough.

And she lay, draped across her bed letting her own chaos engulf her till she had drowned in it all.

A.C.

I wish there are words to explain the kind of feeling that I experience when I'm with you; When you do those little things.

When you smirk
When you eat so slow
When you wait your soda to water down
When we laugh over our inside jokes
When we get sarcastic and all judgy
How you wish me success
How you look at me in the eyes when I tell my  stories
How you hold my hand
Whenever you ask if I am happy
How you find ways and say the right words to cheer me up
How you validate my feelings and ambitions
How we talk about our dreams and hopes
How you assure me that I am enough

I guess there are really no poems or haikus that can express how you make my heart flutter.
I'm a writer by profession but maybe  these will always make me wonder.

There are feelings that will never turn into words.
Maybe those are meant to feed my heart and soul.

A dream, a crave, a love engraved
A desire, a fire, a vision so dazed
Every thought, so fleeting, only this held tight
Every tear, such failure, for this i fight
Such pain, still settling, that road was rough
Such anger, ****** up, passion is never enough

Ive come to realize that I cant cry. I....am simply numb. My face expressionless to the untrained eye....

I question what Im doing here. When will this cloud go away. I feel so....empty. My thoughts silent to the untrained ear...

I find myself saying almost absolutely nothing....No sound. Words come out, but have no meaning. My cry, silent.

I have no meaning......

When you said you wanted to strangle me
I thought how grand that would be
There wouldn’t be a me to cause more stress
I wouldn’t be around to make more of a mess
You could live your life as any normal day
I’d be your problem, come and gone away
So wrap your hands around my neck
and don’t stop until I choke on my last breath
As you feel accomplished you want to stay to check
Now ****** is your addiction, now it is your ****
My life is gone, no room for precious moments
My life is gone, there’s nothing more that torments