i was so worried about me being the one
hurting you
yet now the roles are reversed
and i'm the one crying on the floor
asking you, to not go
and you're so cold and confusing with the way you said "i love you" so soon
and how it scared me, yet gave me this sense of security
i asked you to stop saying it
you complied, as if it was so easy, as if you changed your mind
that loving me was something you couldn't actually do
and how i'm always the one saying, i'm sorry
and i'm the one watching your back in the fear of you leaving
how did everything become so messy?
i thought for once, i was going to be doing the heartbreaking
but it isn't so
you're the one with hands around my throat
watching me choke
and then you'll go
and i will be the one, again and again, with a heart broke

You know the answer before
You find the words to express
You can feel the more
You are the less

But the great wave is crashing
On your shore
You are the vessel smashing
Against the door

You are forced by the one
You are slave to none
But the universe's
Solution done

Yesterday you preached to the masses
Today you publish bursts of words
Tomorrow you are in the sanitorium
Untill the final freedom come

Racing down Madison Avenue against traffic
was never how I expected to crash into him.

He draped his arms around the wreckage, holding it tightly;
everything was piled against the tree -broken pieces scattered;
eyes black as oil stained his white T-shirt,
gasping, crying, inaudible speech.

The gas ran empty and the windows fogged,
everything fell to the floor, fell apart,
broke down - and then it was fixed.

by the simple putting together of a mechanic?

I crashed into myself,
by the dictionary definition of violently colliding;
fell apart.

but, when I crashed into him,
everything fell together.

N.R

We are vehicles
Constantly passing each other on the streets
Each containing its own world
Each with a different destination in mind
Sometimes we collide
Causing sparks to glint off of our metallic outer shells
Before propelling us in a different direction
Throwing us off course
We carry things and people with us
And when we cross paths with others our loads become either heavier or lighter
Sometimes we breakdown from lack of proper care
And need someone to put us back together
And get us running again
Why must we pass by each other so quickly?
When will we stop?

You know those moments
where you just feel so
worthless
for no reason.
Like out of the
blue
the entire world
comes crashing
d
o
w
n
even though you were
feeling perfectly fine
the minute before.

All of a sudden
someone calls you over
or asks for you
and you realize you're so
angry
and there's so much just
bubbling inside
and it comes out.

Except it's not what you expect.

All of a sudden
you find yourself feeling so
tired
and
weak
and all you want to do
is lay down and
dig yourself a hole.

All of a sudden
you want to be buried
but not die.

Every time you breathe,
you feel all of this
anguish
deep in the pit
of your stomach and
in the centre of your chest
and it makes you want to
claw your insides out.

But you don't want to die
because somewhere
deep
deep
inside your mind
you enjoy it.

You enjoy
this sadness
and this pain
and these tears
and all the hurt.
The hurt that makes you
want to disappear
and hide away
and run
and sleep
and fall
and curl up
all at once.

All of a sudden
you're so worthless
so meaningless
and you...
You're not even sure
how you feel
you're just angry
and annoyed
and sad
and everything.

It's so much,
and you can't even register
what's happening.

You just lie there
and enjoy the feeling
in the centre of your chest
and in the pit of your stomach.

You lie there
and do nothing.
Nothing
because that's all
you can do
and all you amount to.
Nothing.