There are days when the rage I prayed to dissipate somehow finds its way from the deep secluded corners of my brain and throws itself violently onto the blank pages of my notebook.

It's always on those days when I hear the Oceanside call my name but I refrain from seeing her because I am far too occupied with chipping myself away at this deadend job that doesn't provide the way that I need it to pay.

It's always on the days when I can't reach her shore that I ***** myself to this imitation of peace. To all the things I want but know it will never satisfy the need to feel that cool ocean breeze, the smell of seaweed and that saltwater against my feet.

There is no place in the valley for a boy who fell in love with the ocean and left his heart at sea.

Like can't you see that the only time I feel whole is when all the broken pieces that make up me is standing on that cliffside. Apart from filling out my blank pages and pouring my heart out onto these stages, that cliffside will always be home.

There is not a day that I'm away that I don't sit and think about the power of the waves. Do you ever think about the power of the waves? How they come in, crash and carry all of my burdens, pain and frustration away. God I just want to get away.

I will always sit up on that cliffside in a mystery as I gaze out upon your vast deep blue see and wonder how in the midst of my chaos, that you are somehow my peace.

I'm sitting on the edge of a cliff just waiting for the ground underneath me to
g i v e
Maybe if I was more grateful.. maybe I just need to stop being so selfish and
g i v e
I should just take my life and let someone else have the responsibility. I will just
g i v e
g i v e
g i v e
Its all I can do other than taking.

I can see that double blue horizon
where the sea and sky meet
Barely
through the trees in the parking lot
There's a little gravel trail
leading through the ground cover
called Pacific Mist on both sides of the trail
that leads down
to that sea salt smell
and the loud echos
of water striking cliffs
and large jagged half - islands
farther out into the bay
the longer you stay
the more you belong here

I am
Running
I am running.
I am running, jumping, playing
Until the cliff
The cliff I see ahead.

I visualize
Myself
I visualize myself running, jumping, flying.
I see
Myself
I see myself soaring.

But I do not see
I do not see any wings
No wings to carry me.
I see
Myself
I see myself falling.

Falling off the edge
And I fear
I fear there is nothing I can do.
So I ask
I ask if it is
If it is the end.

I'm sitting at the edge of the cliff
Just watching
Just waiting
I'm sitting as the ocean throws itself against the rocks, spraying me
I wait
I wait for something
No
I wait for nothing

I'm sitting on the edge of the cliff
Sliding off the edge I'm gonna let this small nothing happen
I'm gonna have this small nothing be gone in a whisper*
*Just never miss me
Just never whimper

The king of the castle sits,
His back paw scratching his head,
Ruminating.
The aging cat wonders if he'll ever lose
the itch.
Then, apparently having reached a satisfactory conclusion
The furry statesmen curls up by the fire
                                                       Drifting....
...off
                                             ­                              to...
                                                           ­                                                      sleep...
he purrs softly to himself:
The rumble of unfathomable ponderings.

You broke my wings
You dragged me down
With every word you let me down
Nearly touching the ground
I knew what I had to do
Escape from you
Yet I kept listening to your lies
Staring death right in the eye
You dropped me down a cliff
Down in the water
I couldn't breathe

Still under deep water
I try to find my way out of the dark

On the edge of the cliff I imagine
You watched me fall with a smirk
I can still see the smile on your face
It was my turn to fly
But you cut out my wings and threw me down
Give me back my freedom
I've been drowning for too long,
Release me now
I would do anything to swim back out

Is the edge of the cliff
the time of your death?
Or the realities sudden wiff
of: "this is not your final breath".

Are the falling skies
tumbling over your head?
Or your happy moments in disguise,
from the tragic ending in red.

The conception of lives subtractions and additions
is the everlasting question to find lives prohobitions