Never again will I say it
Never again will I put myself in bars and chains
Never will I ever let others disappoint me
Never will I completely trust again
*And I just lied to myself again

Unseen by a careless eye,
The tiny holes
That pierce right through the paper’s skin
Cannot be played with.

These rough and edgy slits
That bind the page
With shiny, silver, spiral shackles
Refuse to give up their grasp.

These tiny holes that dot the page
Are never healed and never felt,
But they remind the paper that
The notebook has a grip on it.

But when the time has come, a child
Slowly rips apart the page:
The perforation pops in pain
And grabs a hold of what it can.
The paper, screaming in agony,
Frees itself at last—
It wanders off to be crumpled,
And hurt, and torn, and trashed,
Only at long last to find
That part of it was left behind.

Pondering if I can be forgiven and free
Knowing I deserve to be drowned in the sea
Searching for something to assuage the pain
Hoping out of this something beautiful I gain.

Mistrusting of people around me everywhere
People only curse; not love, not care
Bewildered why I must go through life alone
With paralyzing silence and no friend to phone.

Yearning to break free of my destructive addictions
Rebuking Satan's false and furtive jurisdictions
I embrace the crucifixion and fall to my knee
Beholding my King who died to set me free.

Then kneeling at the cross, the sky breaks with dawn
My tears and my pain are surprisingly gone
As the Son bursts forth in glorious light
Obliterating the dark and malevolent night.

The day is done,
The night has won,
The wind howls,
And the cold growls,
Loneliness creeps on and I have no one to lean on.
The past comes back to mind,
And I’m convinced I will never break its bind.

I live in the dark
You tell me it’s better this way
Don’t have any dreams, they’ll only get crushed
I am scared of the outside world
The only reason why
Because you tell me to fear it

I’m like a puppet on a string
You’re in control of me
You tell me to move, I move
You tell me to sing, I sing
Because I have nothing to lose
But I want to cut these ties that bind us
But I don’t know how to live without you
I will spread my wings and fly
Because I will survive

You tell me don’t go
It’s dangerous out there alone
I don’t know how to be by myself
I’ll only get hurt if I leave
Won’t let you lie to me
I will not let these chains **** me

I’m like a puppet on a string
You’re in control of me
You tell me to move, I move
You tell me to sing, I sing
Because I have nothing to lose
But I want to cut these ties that bind us
But I don’t know how to live without you
I will spread my wings and fly
Because I will survive

Wish that I could undo
All those bad choices
All of those days spent with you
Wishing that I could be free
But not letting myself be happy
For fear of what would happen to you
But now I see, you manipulate me
Into believing I’m at fault
That won’ t happen anymore

I was like a puppet on a string
You were in control of me
You told me to move, I moved
You told me to sing, I sang
Because I had nothing to lose
But I cut those ties that bind us
I  know how to live without you now
I have spread my wings and flew
I will survive

I can only hold on
so long,
like slips of
paper in your hand.
I am not chained
down to you or
this life;
I am
freedom.
I'll never grow the
wings of a
bird or butterfly,
or be above this
world like clouds
in the sky,
but I am not
sedentary.
I am not a
tree, but I am
grounded.
I'll stay until I
uproot or am
uprooted, taking with
me the seasons and
their grace,
the apple blossoms behind
my ears,
and my withered
arms from too
harsh a winter.
I am imagination
and spirit,
I am essence.
I am beyond this
world in
eyes and
heart, in the
scars and
hairs that
cover my body;
I am the remains
of humanity,
where humanity
itself lies within my
ashes.

But what are chains? I hold myself in this place.