I was once told my life was too easy
That I never ever had it hard
That all my life all I had was the best
To say otherwise meant I was a ******

I rounded on that person,
Told them that they clearly didn't know me
And that it disappoints me
To know they know not the full story

My father was in the army for most of my life
Ever since I was a kid I'd walk onto the back porch
See him doing push-ups no matter the weather
Then I'd walk out again and he'd be gone

Teased at school for stupid things
Getting angry, sad and sorrowful
Woe is me, woe is me,
******* all I'm so **** angry

Diagnosed with Aspergers at the age of eight
Repetition and confusion lead me on to where I am today
Changed me, made me the man who's gonna pay
The man I hate, but it's too late, my chance is gone, flown away!

I cut myself up like I had the right
To lay down, give up and rest in my coffin and die
I felt bad about the world, angry and hurt
I did what I did because I thought I deserved!

With a mind like mine so ****** up inside
I screamed up at the stars and with these tears I cried
Watering the ground, at least I done something good
With this soul full of sins and hiding in a black hood

Here to reap, yeah it's reaping time
Murderous thoughts and a mind ready to commit crime
To **** a *****, make him suffer, make him feel my pain
Leave him in a ditch, throw away my weapons and get away

Wipe the blood off my blade
Look around and burn down what I made
Created
Without knowing how to create

That one kid, stacking blocks in the corner
Thinking he's a builder, superior in every way
Then one day
He smashes it all up because his anger never fades
It stays

So yeah I got something to say
Open and close case face facts and admit
That my entire life, I've been wading through a pile of ****
So don't you dare ever tell me I haven't had it hard
Quote and quote
Think otherwise and that makes you a ******

You cannot blindfold me
and walk me into a room
full of your hopes and dreams
and expect me to
build my life there.

Construction
Destruction
Death
Resurrection

Collection
Fixation
­Dictation
Relation

Construct
Destroy
Death to all
Recall

Isn't it funny how
Something can be created?
Then at the change of heart
Your mind has destruction fixated?

You call for the heads of those
Who tear apart you world
When they are soon dealt with
The real you is resurrected.

You then collect the pieces,
They are now your fixation
Other are telling you how to rebuild
From friends and blood relation

Slowly but surely,
Piece by piece
You reconstruct the world
That had lain in pieces

Then you destroy it
Because you've had enough
And bring death to all
To vent the life that you made rough

And then you expect your friends
Who you just destroyed
To come at your beck and call
When you pushed them in the void?

Get real
You brought this on *yourself

Some days I seem to care
Then the next I'm not fully there
And other days,
I'm a little in-between.

When I care,
I am entirely selfless
An angel, if you like
Helping the helpless

When I am not myself
I'm restraining the urge to demolish
To tear lives, buildings, the world down
You could say I'm demonic

And then
When I'm in-between,
Expect the best and worst
Of both versions of me

It is so much less demanding to destroy than to create or build
and the fruit of our labour doesn't appear to be as hard to yield.
If anyone then is bent on revenge and goes about it in a rage
they will probably have their victims, in the end, to assuage.
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