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chang Nov 2020
my hands are full
and my fingers are breaking
for counting my sins
and all of my flaws.
so i apologize
if couldnt hold myself together.
Cerasium Nov 2020
Love is a fickle thing
I wish and dream
But it will always be the same
I’ll always be someone’s second choice

I fight against the depression
That this life brings
Yet the only way I can fight
Is with you by my side

You drown the voices
Keeping them from the surface
With your joyous laugh
And your goofy personality

Being near you
I rarely ever feel sad
But when you leave
It hits me like a tidal wave

I crawl into a corner
Begging and crying
For just one chance
To be the one you love

But I know it won’t help
There’s no way I’ll be
The first choice
Of your heart

My heart craves you
My soul craves you
My whole being craves you
But you don’t crave me

I’m alone forever
And I understand this
But I don’t want it to be true
All I need is you

But no matter what I do
No matter how much I want it
I’ll never be what I want
The first choice

I’m not even in the running
I’m not even thought of that way
Yet I crave to be
The first choice

But it’s all for nothing
I will only be viewed as a friend
I’ll never be what you are to me
The first choice
Jonathan Moya Oct 2020
The black stallion runs onto the tracks
headlong into the train’s cycloptic  light
attempting to break its horsepower.

He refuses to yield to gravity
touching his feet and grounding him
into mammal again:  

sweat, hair, lungfuls of air,
refuses to slip his nose
through another hard halter.

His head and hind legs draw up.
He kicks the landscape
and the landscape flies away

in the blur of speed and motion,
the fight with the steel air
steering towards him.

The trees turn black
and all green goes away.
The ground is cut to wrinkles.

The stallion drops his long neck
and fumbles with his thick tongue.
He stumbles into shadow.

Once, a long time ago,
he was named Never.
Today, he tosses off that.

The clouds from the train’s smokestack
pummel the nimbus of the dark sky
and its wheels stampede flesh and bone.

Its cars are loaded with cattle
headed for the stockyards
far away in the west.
Sarah Flynn Oct 2020
my skin
has housed sunburns
and scraped kneecaps.
it has carried
hair and goosebumps
and so many freckles
that I could never count.

my skin
has endured bruises
and cigarette burns.
its suffering is
the aftermath of
abuse, impulsivity,
and my own self-hatred.

my skin
has braved hot weather
and icy water.
it has protected me
from prickly thorns,
from strong winds,
and from myself.

despite the cruelty
that I inflicted
onto it,
this skin
held me together
even when I
felt like I was
falling apart.
eli Sep 2020
sleep for 4 hours max.
forget to eat
pick up a new hobby
like smoking
or snorting

never cry in front of anyone
ever
build your walls out of concrete
and barbed wire

never let anyone in
you will regret it

be insensitive
hurt the people around you
cause them pain

maybe they will leave you
before you leave them
ope
Some days
I lie in bed
Over come by
A sense of dread
Lips trembling
But nothings to be said
Mind tries to get up
But my feet are bricks of lead
Breaking point is near
My hearts already dead
VChau Sep 2020
Sometimes I just want to run away,
run away from all this misery and pain start over for I failed this one

A new life in a new city
where no one knows who I was
where there is no one from the past
where I don't have to struggle everyday
where I don't have to give myself a reason to live every time I breathe.

New city new people
new opportunities new me
where nothing from the past haunts me where I don't have to hop on pills every morning to stay sane
where I don't have to talk to a random person so that I don't strangle myself to death.

A place where I can love who I want
where I can be who I want
where I can do what I want
where nothing holds me back
where I can finally breathe

A start over is all I want...
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