She hurt you once
she hurt you twice
the last strike
and she's out

Goodbye dear lad,
not dear no more!
But, yet, something.
Something inside of
me.
I can't see
that something inside
of me.

It's yelling.
Screaming.
My heart is BEATING!

It just ain't right
But the heart wants what it wants.
My brain says no
yet it still ain't up to me,
for the heart wants what it wants.

Today there are no certainties
From the day my mom gave birth to me
As a child so young and free
I never knew what life held for me

As the days turn into years
My innocents turned into fears
I found that life was full of pain
And hurt and suffering all the same

I tried and tried to find my way
But misery was there to stay
The things of love and happiness
My dad told me would be a bliss

But years have slowly passed me buy
And the things I’ve lost just makes me cry
I think of all the lonely nights
And all the ugly violent fights

The many nights I cried in pain
For tomorrow it would be the same
The screaming shouting, ugly words
You’ll never know how much it hurts

The day we meet
I’ll never forget
Your gentle words and loving ways
How I pray there where there to stay

To calm my fears
And wipe my tears
To show me love
For all the years

But sadly as the months went by
I realized it’s all a lie
The happy home and tenderness
The sweet caress and gentleness

I sit and wonder what went wrong
It hasn't been that very long
Since the day I said good bye
And realized it was all a lie

How can someone so sweet and dear
Cause me so much pain and fear
You call and say you love me so
Do you really? I want to know

My heart was broken long ago
Can you remember you should know?
I turned around and left that day
And told myself it’s all okay

Three month later who should call
It was you in pieces, I took the fall
You were so down and miserable
And said you loved me most of all

Because I gave my heart to you
And it was a love so dear and true
So once again I took you back
Cause strength and pride I sure did lack

It wasn't long until again
Fighting, screaming lots of pain
Now it’s many years gone bye
And once again i say goodbye

But still you call me all the time
And say you love me more each time
How did it go so very wrong?
How did we miss it all along?

Why could we not find piece my dear?
Why did you listen but never hear?
But sadly now I have to say
I cannot take another day

Of broken dreams and a broken heart
And lonely nights we sleep apart
As I sit here thinking back
It was my dignity that I lacked

I love you to
If you only knew
But now it’s over I have to say
But you’ll go on and be okay

When words weren't enough
              to show how much
                              I loved you.

I gave you a box,
           containing past loves..

And when you touched them.

                          They where still warm,
then you knew that my love was true..


As I wouldn't be swayed by the past,
                 knowing you held the
remanence in your hands.

They where still warm,
           but all that mattered

                             was that there was no
going back after this show of affection...

She woke me up
no kidding
I thought I was lost
not beating
My heart had failed me
not working
My brain had turned off
just empty

Then there she was
still smiling
I could feel something
inside me
My heart had restart
fluttering
I could keep going
with her
beside me

Numb
Beating my head like a pounding drum
Numb
Not stupid, not dumb
Just numb
Nothing to do but twiddle my thumbs
Numb
I'm so done
Numb
It's grown to an awful hum
All I am is Numb

I was once beaten
hard
by a large man
with red fire eyes
and froth on his lips.
Don’t worry, baby.
I gave as good
as I got.
That day, I learned
to survive.

-Ron Gavalik

I still whisper prayers for you even on nights when I immediately fall asleep
as my back touches the bed, my head resting on my pillow
But I guess you are the one who’s tired from running inside my head all day
Some days you just walk, back and forth, pacing, hopping, leaping
Until I find you inside my pockets and then inside my chest where I hear all the beating
Some days I wish you would stop because it would mean that I have also stopped
From thinking about you so much but I guess it won’t just yet — you won’t just yet
I still repeat our fleeting moments when I can’t fall asleep
The smell of lavander can fill my room with all its might but once the thought of you pops
This world I belong to has a habit of pausing only to remind me that you have gotten away
On some days, in an old buick by yourself while on other days, in a carriage with the thing that is supposedly beating in my chest
Then I find myself chasing after you only to once again find myself running in circles
In an empty stadium’s tracks — but you’re there. I see you on the bleachers
but I cannot comprehend if you’re waiting for my victory or for my defeat
On some days, that is the problem. There is this uncertainty that envelops the sparkle in you
And oh, if I could only find out what keeps you from being unsure,
I would do everything in my courage to fight it so that you can stop running
And maybe I can start holding your hands when the lights turn green as we begin walking