Don’t leave me here alone
Where I can’t see
Where the light won’t consume me whole
When it was never meant to be

I’ve wished on a shooting star
that isn’t really there
And God forbid I stay in that
Place where no one really cares

But I can’t run forever
From this inevitable cave in
A hundred shattered glasses
With bloodstains that I kin

Melted sand, whatever,
it’s my own ****** loss
But not even the fine print
Ever told me the cost

To being alive
To waking up per day

So if I stay in the darkness
Don’t be surprised if I don’t come out again.

Love is a waltz
Two dance
Don’t dance alone

day by day
i try to walk away.  
it chases me while i’m trying to forget.
it’s not someone, it’s something.  
feeling like i’m lost, feeling that i don’t have a say.
day by day.
i try to stay away,
stay away from the thoughts.
i don’t wanna betray myself.
trying to rely on myself.
day by day.
i just accept my fate.
is it truly mine to take?

Evening, I'm alone,

in and outside my cabin --


And it's getting dark.

There was a time when I didn't know you.
It seems absurd to me now, really.
When I didn't smell your almond hair at dawn,
When I didn't look into your chocolate eyes nearly.

There was a time when I lived without you.
When I tore myself to pieces with no mean.
When I was alone at all and didn't imagined
That you're my fate, my part. You're foreseen.

I tried to cheat my fate more than once,
I teased her much. I was rude to her very.
And she saved me tenderly every time.
She awaited the while I was stubborned daringly.

There was a time when I didn't know you.
Maybe it was in my past life.
And now you're here, you're nearby.
And all my past disappeared without any strife.

Tell me a lie,
I won’t mind,
I’ll let you try,
you’ll be so kind,
I’ll be left behind.

Had my heart on my sleeve,
all you did was leave.
Stood there in the dark,
yet it hadn’t even start.

If you really wanted,
you’d try,
wouldn’t leave me dry.
Trust me, darlin’,
felt like you were carving,
a hole in my heart,
already crushed,
filled with dust,
never discussed.
Tore it just right,
the same night,
had to get it stuffed,
as I stared with disgust.

There's a fire
in my chest.
It's burning in
water.
The steam
fogs my glasses.
As being on the verge
of breaking down
draws ever so closer.

Closer than a lover
closer than the
decaying yellow
from the vines of
a dead fern.
So much closer than
the smoke-stained paint
which coats the walls of my home
an off-white uselessness.

Carrying an anchor
so far
from the sea,
it bears a toll on me.
Half dead
hunched over
waiting for
a candle's light to
reach my
ever-growing darkness.

My body is half buried
in the dying Texas blue grass.
The worms
maggots
and circling birds
hungry to tear away
at the flesh of a dead poet.

I crave communication but I want to stay quite
I would love to spend time together but I want to be left alone
I desire to be held but I want my skin untouched
I need someone to care but I want to keep my wall up
I look forward to helping but I want to hide in my home
I enjoy smiling and laughing but I want to cry
I rejoice in feeling alive but i want to feel numb

I want this fog of darkness to end
I want to get lost in my husband's touch
I want to show my love without limits
I want to feel the gentle breeze moving through my curls
I want to sit and listen to all your words
I want to feel like me again

-Shelly Ramos

How can I feel like a stranger,
Only where my blood runs deep?
Maybe it’s because home feels like you,
Even though it could never be.
Some say I should be grateful,
I should be content—
Can’t I still long for more?
Kneeling, I pray for you.