“I like you.”—but not enough.
Not enough to stay, to care,
To see the way I withered,
Piece by piece, beneath your weight.

You took what you needed,
A hand to hold, a heart to lean on,
And I gave until I was nothing,
Until even my shadow felt thin.

Now there’s nothing left to take.
No warmth, no light, no fight.
I have run dry, drained hollow—
I hope I was enough to quench your thirst.

I know our relationship was wrong,
It never should have reached that point.
I thought I was smart,
But your love was some crazy hit.
I was so alone,
In such such mind numbing pain.
You were also mentally ******,
Didn’t realize our relationship was insane.
Why do I still miss you?
And think about you all the time.
When I know you shouldn’t have done this,
Knew from the start it was a crime.
Everyone calls you a sick creep,
And I really wish to believe this.
Because then it wouldn’t be so hard,
I wouldn’t be in painful abyss.
Still can’t believe I fell for it,
Allowed myself to be swept along.
You were there for a reason,
Made me believe I belong.
Made me smile through the tears,
When I was at my lowest.
You really did help,
Made me become my best.
I wouldn’t have fell for it and you,
Unless it was for a reason.
To keep me alive,
But I still have a question.
Why the hell did it have to be this way?
Why the **** did it have to be you?
Why couldn’t the person who saved me,
Be someone I can stay close to?

I wasn't lonely at all, I too had friends before,
We would play, laugh, and have fun,
Get wet in summer from watergun,
And be sick for days calling each other one,
But time past and we said "goodbye",
Despite that "bye" wasn't fine,
I'd be sick for years not for days,
As I couldn't make friends any more,
Even though I made two or three,
They didn't seem to be fond of me,
They would go to parks and walk,
Gaming place where they would play,
Theatres where they could see the play,
Not asking me if could come along,
And thus, I now can open the door,
That I've been not alone before...

these words retained, their authorship lost and unresolved,
but their siren sounding ringing, ding ding dinging;
resoundingly and unresolved:

we do not always, indeed, hardly ever safe harbor the true origin and
the true meaning of  our memories, but they come returning to us with accompanied shrouded shuddering, so oft, for frequent "EX'ing:"

Excellent exhilaration, expiration,
exhalation, variant explanations,
and unsatisfactory excitations but
never any finality of finale
exiting

the memories and the meanings
return modified, encumbered by
prior visionings, and the meaning
further twisted, their import
un lessened, until some resolution
is reached required retained
and a new memory is formed,
perhaps imagined,
perhaps not,
nonetheless
the siren sounds, the mind alerted,
we commence daily, nightly
to reimagine what we once imagined...even
endings...
nml

anxiety runs through my veins
self-destructive thoughts swirl in my head
my hands tremble
tears blur my vision
bone deep loneliness sends chills down my body
I feel so alone
I text people
but it's all in vain
I get left on delivered
for hours upon hours
a heaviness settles in my chest
maybe they don't want anything to do with me
maybe they were pretending to be my friend
maybe I'm annoying them with my problems
maybe I'm nothing to them
tears spill down my face
I hold in my sobs
my phone taunts me
with the texts marked as delivered
I can't do this
I feel so alone
I feel like a burden
with all this overthinking

I am the only one left
And it seems like a mighty theft
Am I the only one that cares,  
When I feel nothing in the air?