I am here and I am gone.
Sometimes I come in strongly,
sometimes I am nothing more than a whisper.
You see, my life is like a little red radio.
Shifting, yes. Evolving, no.

Stating my momentary pleasures in a hot seat,
moving with a quiet current of low mumbles.
There are numbered stations for my feelings,
controlled by that little red-silver tune dial
that chooses a separate mood for every moment.

Moreover, the volume dial,
telling me when to keep my mouth shut,
to be static in the air that the atmosphere rejects.
and sometimes, making me feel the stations
through a door slam or a "*******."

See, my life is like a little red radio,
always caught in between two stations.

Somewhere far, far away.
Beyond the crowds and city lights.
I smile at the clouds with you on my mind.

I find peace at last,
one with the earth.
I can hear your voice again and it doesn't hurt.
I can thank you for saving my life.
My guide through those big city lights.

They pulled me away,
but you kept me at bay.
I thought of you every morning.
Your texts always got me through the day.
I was too bitter that you left me to thank you for that.
I take everything I said back.
I never would've made it without you.

2 years clean, I mean,
maybe we can meet in my dreams.
And I can tell you what those times really mean to me.

I thank you,
Until I see you again.

Somewhere far, far away.
Beyond the crowds and city lights.
I smile at the clouds with you on my mind.

he wanted to have *** with me in my car,
and we might've if i hadn't stopped him.
because he would kiss me
and i would wish i was kissing you.
and he would touch me
the way you touched me.
and he wanted to have *** in the passenger seat of my car,
but all i could picture was you on top
of me.
the way the world was ours in the sense,
we didn't care how long it took or the fact that it was freezing out.
we just kept doing it.
and i can't stop thinking about it,
even every time i sit in my car.

In the orange cream dying sun's half light
swaddled by blankets wrapped in ***** clothes
I open my lips wanting your taste
eye to eye, mons *****, warm fragrance
To offer myself and soul over completely
When we were young did you ever think
we'd drown in the ocean of flesh between legs?
She smiled brightly, made noises
overjoyed much more than confused,
though that's not the story now, is it?
In an instant passion rises up with steam
gone again before I wipe the mirror and
brush my teeth, and once again I see
blackened debris, they're rotting out
from misspoke verbs
All that's sweet now is the imagining
of diabetic what once was
Two closed eyes reach back with a breathy sigh
withheld truths and well meant half lies,
cannot inspire lift again that left me,
but that doesn't stop the faithful
Has the tide this whole time been sending
waves of false hope, on which I'm floating?
Daydreaming, heating oil, she wants dinner,
and I hunger for satisfaction in new pictures
A hand for a finger, a tongue from both mouths
comforting by grabbing hungrily
until heads get thrown back, abs tighten
when pressed to relax, on the rack
stretched but both floating
Why does she want to drink my blood?
I don't ask just imbibe in return
Those days are long gone
Times when the worst thoughts could not undo
whatever flicker remains in the waning brazier's ember