red lips,
high heels,
a few bits
of love feels
like a burning paper —
slowly consuming me
out of uncertainty.

i’ve always been flawed
and when your perfect eyes
scan my bruised body,
all you’re ever going to see
is a crooked man that’s me.

i doubt. i commit.
i doubt. i commit.

i still doubt
for i am a crook.

you cast a spell on me
and to my delight,
i felt the same
tingling sensation
in my spine.
let me tell you this,
lovely enchantress —
you need not cast
a spell on me
for right from the start,
you already
enchanted me.

i can no longer
steal glances
and waste chances —
for your beguiling smile
enchants every piece of me
and your sweetest eyes
look like a felony
i am willing to commit.

your love will not wither
for your soul
emanates warmth
and a little bit of drizzle.
memoirs never cease
to tickle every bit of me —
for you are the goddess
i adore and worship;
and i would never dare
disobey.

mine love wilt
endure as long as
thine eyes cometh
with my soul.
thou art a
guillotine which
beheaded me —
but worry not
for this heart and soul
of mine
cometh with thee.

as you purse your cherry lips,
i steal a glance
and witness the beauty
that you are.
i’m half-awake
and you’re half-asleep;
we could meet halfway—
as long as we know
where we are headed.

she’s the skyscraper
they look up to;
she’s the church
that holds abode.
her hazel eyes
had witnessed
countless storms
and she’s in ruins
but nobody knows.

heartaches hurt the most —
as if breathing takes
a lot of courage
and playing guitar
isn’t about the riffs anymore.
it’s as if tears
could choke you in pain
and every so often
they heavily pour.
usually, heartaches
could only be felt
in a sob or two;
but now heartaches are
random nights that
keep on haunting you.

you’ve always been a house cat —
even compared to a lioness
or a cheetah or a tigress.
no matter how hard you try
for your voice to be louder,
they’d still underestimate you,
so you aim to be
just genuinely you;
that’s all that matters.

I saw it
The corner in which my heartbeats sting
The corner that reminds me of pain
The corner that flashes back eveything
The corner in which your stains remain.

I saw it
The very place where it befell
The very place where it crashed
The very place just like hell
The very place where it was lashed.

I saw it
With my tired eyes, it lingers
With my shattered heart, it's desolate
With my regrets, I pressed my fingers
With my slow places, I reminisced our fate.

I saw it
Your face that lit the universe
Your face that glowed in every scene
Your face that I couldn't curse
Your face that will remain like that of a teen.

I saw it
The hidden smiles you flashed at me
The hidden stare I returned to you
The hidden connection of how we're meant to be
The hidden memory made by two.

I saw it
The threaded face just like an art
The face that caused my tears to fall like the rain
The broken piece of pieces of my heart
The coffin where you had peacefully lain.

I saw it
The eyes that said it all
The nights that were lonely and cold
The sadness that rolled in my life like a ball
The love that was never ever told.

it was a nightmare —
a night i wish to forget.
you laid your eyes on me
and i looked back at you.
i tried to force a smile
but you told me not to.
i tried to hold your hand
but you moved away.
tears fell on my cheeks, and
you told me you can’t stay.
what happened to the eyes
that kept me lost yet found?
what happened to the touch
that kept me safe and sound?
what happened to the dreams
we tried to reach?
maybe you’re just another lesson to me that life is ought to teach.

i once was blue —
until you happened.
you are the acid
that transformed me
into the shining red
that I am.

they call you crazy —
your hair shouts radiance,
your words dance in the limelight,
your soul holds them captive.

they call you luna —
stars surround you
yet you shine on your
own reason
in the blinding darkness.

the mermaid’s brazen attitude
pushes me to my limits.
with her blatant sounds
making me feel alarmed,
my knees start to shake
and weaken—
the ocean beckons to
my half-dead soul.

I let out a deafening sigh
as I bid you my final goodbye
I tried to stop the agonizing shivers
but it resulted to weakening whispers

I know our love was quite unpredictable
Too young, too bold, too vulnerable
I bet time had long known we’re impossible
but we cannot remain forever indestructible

My spine must have known the weight I carry
And my heart and tears seem to betray me
For I have sought for every answer to this
Whilst I’ve clearly known I would be remiss

Fate must be laughing at us now
We learned why yet we still chose how
And now all I think about is that crazy kiss,
How you saved me as we made memories

I looked at your sweet sad eyes
I’d never forgive myself if I tell you more lies
I’ve lied enough just to forget you
It’s clear now, no sin would make me do

Suddenly, it all arrived to my mind
How I need you, how I can’t leave you behind
While you taught me love, you taught me pain, too
But I’d rather lose myself than lose you

If you’re the wound I need to endure
Then I won’t waste time finding for a cure
If you’re the storm the world has to give
Then I’d take the casualty you shall leave

If you’re the suffering I’ve got to face
Then I won’t even try escaping the maze
If you’re the old habit that dies hard
Then I can attest that indeed, you are bad.

satan said he’d meet me soon
so i shall wait for the blood moon
i’d travel to hell not knowing why
i’d disappear without saying goodbye

satan said i’d stay in his arms
right after falling for his charms
i’d lay with him playing dead
unaware he’s a cloud in my head

satan said i shall come with him
he’ll take me to the darkest grim
i nodded and wore my brand new eyes
and now hell is just another paradise.

Sometimes you want to hide
from yourself and from the world
But you can only linger in the
city lights and heavy music and *****.

Sometimes you want to run
from yourself and from the world
But you can only walk on the
prickly thorns set on the pavement.

Saturnina, whilst you long to hide
Those tears will remain masked
And whilst your feet bleed
They leave remnants of pain
It may be washed away by the rain
But there will always be a visible stain.

By the time the sun decides to appear
And you witness the same thorns that brought you fear
Promise me you’d choose to stay
Not minding whether the color’s yellow or gray
For as long as you keep hiding and running
Saturnina, you’ll go on without mending.

they call you sunshine —
your smile fascinates the clouds,
your eyes bemuse the skies,
your soul radiates joy.

they call you sol —
some are afraid of your scathing warmth
but you’re still a timeless beauty
every single time you fall.

your stained cheeks
tell me you’ve been at
a war last night.
darling, your eyes
still sparkle
even when they’re
bloodshot.

my insides are twisting
and shaking and burning.

my wishes are too dreamy,
aren't they?

but i have to go on.
i have to.

That small town is my torment
And this city is my solace
The busy streets don’t have room for a pit
And the city lights brighten the darkest nights
The people bustling and hustling even on Sundays
Oh, they don’t even have time for haze
Remembering and forgetting don’t require wit
The best thing this city has taught me about suffering is that I should own it
I did not lose the pain at all
But this city taught me to stand up after I fall.

i’ll be waiting
in this forsaken hearth
where there is
no more fire left
to give me warmth.
i’ll wait until the sun rises
or until it sets.
i’ll wait until the rain stops
or until it pours more.
i’ll wait until it’s noon
or until it’s already four.
i’ll wait until you come back
or until I lose myself
in this cold, cold night.
oh, beloved —
salvage me tonight;
or else, I’ll fall apart.

big waves in the sea
they keep on inviting me
i shall take this risk.

the rumbling of the grey skies
and the world's biggest and dirtiest lies
had come again to my own senses
that i am indeed an irreparable mess

as the rain poured heavily,
my heart started to feel the pain
i was awakened from my reverie
and my tears blended with the rain

i thought of reconciling with the ache
but the rain was something i could not take
for when the skies rumble and cry
i remember your most painful goodbye

that day in summer, the rain appeared
stripes were drawn on my window pane
i could not protect you the way i feared
just like how i was not able to stop the rain

i despised the rain ever since you left
but ink the deepest corner of my heart, you were kept
and the rainfall could not silence my cries
for you remained in my battles even in disguise

as i stood here on this side of the road
without an umbrella but a life to hold
i looked on the other side and you were there
but all i could do is cry, stand still and stare

you took careful steps -- slow but sure
i suddenly felt relief as if discovering a disease's cure
the skies cried even more than before
but my eyes witnessed how you were so kind and pure

your umbrella may not have stopped the rain
but it lessened the hurt in my memory lane
now i know that when the skies cry
i will always find hope in your goodbye

in this dark and gloomy world of fools
life still exists -- like how the rain falls
just knowing that in our heads it pours from above
life is beautiful when i can live in your love.