When love starts
grief marks the board
and grieves
for parts inevitable.
Forced and unwelcome;
the longest
not enough.
But,
if not for love
parting is kind,
and hurried through the door,
to make is,
what was.

You're not as essential as oxygen
or sleep.
I could still walk without you.
But,
without you,
who'd put the spring in my step,
the jig in my day,
the sun in a ray
or
the see in my say.

The seemingly impassable
lilts
then
goes,
obstacles vanishing,
at a hint of your arrival;
stumbling blocks
fade into easy ground
when you’re here
when you’re around.

All events
about see,
sails risen
with homing precision;
never lost at sea
when you’re
looking at me.

For a time you made me sparkle,
i'm the star on top,
no needles to think of.
Soon we will pack up
and drop off.
When we were we went
everywhere
without care.
Now unfair,
no lights
anywhere.

It turns
and you turn,
away for a while,
as if you never were,
but
no swansong
heard.
Goodbye
is lost
in smiling strength;
no mourning warn
in morning warm.

Many people have phobias in this life,
what for others seems innocuous fills them full of strife,
some can keep firmly on their lid
when they see an arachnid,
they are calm and serene
but then cower when they see forked lightning beams.
Some can stroke a snake
but when thinking of flying begin to shake,
or can skip through massive open spaces with joyful vigour
but when slightly confined begin to quiver.
Me?  I found great white sharks most perturbing
even a picture of one was completely disturbing,
their visage draining the light from the air,
I saw a totally cold demented stare,
terror lurked in every photographic depiction,
like reading a letter calling me to conscription,
I felt briny constriction,
I'd shiver at an image of a wake they’d left in the sea,
that’s made by a thing that has the death glare of Ted Bundy,
making ominous mist,
this big fish is as crazy as Albert Fish.
Smelling blood from far away, never needing to sleep,
these great white traits gave me the creeps;
barely leaving a silhouette in the sun,
but with the ferocity of Attila The ***,
marauding silently to selected prey
even the water gets out of the way.
The seal was just chilling, thinking of going home,
he’d had enough of a daily roam,
about to paddle back in leisurely slow
but then it appeared from below...
a serrated chasm charnel pit,
Atlantis nuclear bombs would look like it,
fanged latch on, a phantasmagoria spectacular;
it bites for keeps this oceanic Dracula.
The aqua fills with gushing red,
it submerges, fully fed.
Anything to do with them would send me to terror filled gorge,
The Reef, or Sharky and George,
I’d scream on instant at the thought of a fin
that dorsal jut carrying sin.
But then one day when I was cowering in the kitchen after one had surprised me on page 15 of The Metro News,
I thought “Si, you gotta banish these deep sea blues.
You can’t keep dropping your pizza at the merely the sight
of a dreadful gaping awful great white.
It’s not a good state of head to engage with fear,
especially with something that’s not even here.”.
So a couple of days later when I was pretty ******
I was like “right, let’s have it you massive fish!”.
I picked up the newspaper and looked right at one,
initially my startle went to a million from none,
but I held my nerve and slowly the burst of scare began to ebb,
I gingerly untangled myself from this great white web.
Don’t get me wrong like getting over anything it took a bit of time,
I could be whistling through Town feeling fine,
and then see an advert for Mega Shark V Crocosaurus and feel a hint of chill in my spine,
but as the minutes turned into months I could handle impromptu shark,
a pic of one wouldn’t disrupt the larks,
or cast a brief pall on a sunny day in the park.
Now I can watch Blue Planet without apprehension,
in fact when David says “great white” it gets my attention,
in an inquisitive sense of “let’s see what these guys have got to give,
we’ve wasted years but now let’s live!”.
I love the malleability of the mind and it’s super anoint,
it can dimmish with ease what seemed like fixed point,
ingrained weighty states can be waved through;
foggy mire to brilliant blue.
What can appear to be etched for rest of the days
can just be a shackled phase,
a bricked up room growing doors.
Ahh, it’s Saturday, I think I'll watch Jaws.

Although your departure was imminent
it still smashed
more than the bottle
of bon voyage,
fragility sank in too;
the days
and nights
without you.

I want your fright things to be as short as the day of winter solstice,
I want to find you
in mist,
and kiss,
so you know you're missed.

So I wake up & think,
"Ohh, a message on Whatsapp,
I'll check that baby later,
for that nourish I will cater,
hmm outside it looks mild,
take your time Si, punctuality is the last reserve of the boring, said Oscar Wilde.
But you don't want to get the "where have you been" glare & the "I've been sat here for ages" stare."
So I gather my sleepy head with all my power,
get my work game on & hit the shower.
As I cleanse my skin layer by layer I ponder,
"hmm, have I got enough juice in my MP3 player to see me through on the 192?"
I scrub quickly in a ******* sigh,
"oh oh oh fuckkkkk! Si, you've got shower gel in your eye!"
All my thoughts of enough walking music to hurl me up the road are lost in my optic feeling like it's going to explode.
"It hurts! It hurts! ******* vanilla & raspberry,
is the cyclopitic pain really necessary?".
I now don't have time for thoughts of on time hurry
if I'm going blind or not is now my greatest worry.
The stupid anxieties vanish
in minutes of strife,
like they do in real life,
I don't think I'll care that I haven't budgeted for pre payday weekend beer if I get a call saying
you're not here,
& from what I know you disappear.
Not to dwell on what grief does loom,
you & me right now sail through the future gloom;
you're the best of the best
never stop,
I love you
I love you
I love you lots.
This soapy grip on my eye starts to ease,
anxious not
in the July breeze.

Mime a fake lyric true;
i'm a relic without you.

Sign in the staffroom at work.
Stay positive they said,
Stay positive I read,
Stay positive in the work you despise,
Turn a blind eye as your life goes by,
Leave your thoughts at the door,
Don’t think they implore,
Pretend there is no sun,
Look out of the window at your life on hiatus for eight hours,
Can’t get rid of the smell of this jail even after a thousand showers,
Take solace it’s for the money that I didn’t even want to use,
The books you could be reading now will only get you confused,
The songs you could be listening to now won’t speak to you anyway,
Silence your mental jukebox and toil for your pay.
Stay positive today,
The cash they flash,
I can see on my face a fiscal rash,

They can say put down your pens,
Strip your pencils of lead,
Tell creativity to slumber,
Put your canvas to bed,
But can’t stop us drawing in our heads,
Stay positive,
Like don’t start on that waitress and treat her with chagrin,
Cos she doesn’t bound over with your pie and chips with a leap and a grin,
“We’ve paid for this food, she better start smiling,”
Or the tip it is non and the polite police I’m dialing “
Have a word with yourself shes working,
And more than that she could be hurting,
Cos John in the kitchen isn’t flirting,
Or she could be wearing that frown,
Cos shes realised she only got £30.00 for her night out in town,
That’s not much when you consider the taxi back,
Plus after shes done serving you shes got dishes to attack,
But no she has a grimace,
Shes finished,
We have all felt like that, bit lonely and that,
Stay positive.
Stay positive,
Cos sometimes words cling to the air,
Like candyfloss to hair,
And birds sing for their bread while the cat bosses just stare,
At the endless charade of hierarchy,
John then Paul then George then Starky,
But star key unlocks the door to the skies,
Hope is life, I summarise,
There’s beauty in your summer eyes,
Don’t count the calories in pies,
Dietary information often lies,
Distracting from the truth with garish rides,
That only seek to compromise,
Our promise and delightful ties,
Forged from friendship not to buy,
Feel your waist and touch your thigh,
Dietary information often lies,
Love is all,
No chance to take,
No dast to cie,
Be brilliant and hear them sigh,
Stay positive.
I feel like,
Tintin going exploring,
Paths opening up, new days dawning,
I’m done with yawning it’s a waste of breath,
I don’t feel lethargic, I don’t feel bereft,
Heads down dive me a test,
About anything cos this beat in my chest,
Means I’ll beat Kasparov at chess,
Armani couldn’t make a sexier dress,
Allivate stress quicker than Prozac,
Cut the beanstalk down faster than Jack,
I can stretch my mind more than that guy on the rack,
Cos I think if our lips locked together we could throw away the lucky heather,
No more boring days of monotony,
Fingers crossed watching the national lottery,
Not just waiting around thinking I’ll chill,
But striving for the horizon over the hill,
Stay positive.
But the best thing I saw recently,
Was when I’d just finished my tea,
And I saw these two old folk who live near me,
One about 89 the other 93,
Twilight of their lives to say the least,
Real hunched and stooped over, all false teeth,
But the way they held each other’s hands the tenderness was palpable,
Cradled and soft the care undoubtable,
Cos some things are not withered by age,
They stick through this life to every page,
Decrepit vocal cords that would have a job to sing,
But there demeanor hit the high notes bellowing loves the greatest thing,
And whatever they think the next life is, earth, air or above,
At least the opening gambit can be, “we ended that one with love”
And everybody wants that, everybody,
Everybody with this life to live,
Peace be with you and bless you
And stay positive!

I’ll miss your lovely singing voice
bristling with charm;
opposite of clarion call,
antithesis of alarm.

In the air you appear,
slowly,
winning a race and delicate.
Far from frost
and stuck engines
or fall;
with,
exquisite essence of thaw.

Watch words,
not watching words
when with you,
possible and posable
no thing imposing or impossible ; we can fight a storm front with our warm sun.

How can i not be flowery
when potpourri
fathered me.

Right now
I smile loads
as you pop
In my head
a lot;
beams from waking up
to drifting off.
I like smiling,
I like you popping in my head
a lot.

People say to me

"you're always happy you, you always have a smile""

And they're right, right now in this moment I do smile,

because in this time of a little while

all is content,

and Heaven sent:

my Hazel shines wonderfully, with all the bright in her heart,
Amber never stops scampering her dreamself from the morning's start,

my Mum and Dad look healthy, going away seems far from their door,
and angry Poppet wags her tail
but then gives me that cat face i adore.

My many amazing friends are astounding, I love them as much as an eye wants to see,
and I blush with the bloom of joy when they want to hang around with me.

So when people say

"you're always happy you, you always have a smile""

I think,

well course I am,

this beautiful life is running wild.

Your snore
does not allure
it's clattering cronk drives me mad,
every molecule of it forces me to sad,
I hate it when I think you've stopped and there's
a lull in the house of pain
but then it spluters back into life and invades my space again;
it's obtrusive to my slumber,  it disturbs my beauty sleep,
I try to hold back tears
but I can't help but wheep,
I have no recourse but to nudge you to try and stop the daemon howl,
I need to quell misery's guttural and halt this Hellish growl,
you startle and sit up but soon settle back into the cries of doom: the minions of Belzubub chanting about gloom.
But despite the fact that when you rest you chudder
as a foghorn lacking charms
I am glad when my eyes open I'm near to your arms,
because although you gurgle with terror
and blast a Witchfinder General coo
I'm always pretty happy when I awake with you.

You would have loved these songs,
your hair stand on end sing alongs,
born in every breath
you never met.
Still everything makes time for you,
that widest sky,
that soaring blue.

Not to want to fly,
supposing wings
can bring defeat;
this, not unclipped,
a gentle bloom of plume,
lifting the see, to saw and see.

It means to forget
a victory.
Binded hands wait for what ;
morning conundrum
and for the thunder
after fun's done
and mope throw!

Today you look office sick,

Staying still in your swivel chair,

Turning white and pale in printed air,

Your secret dreams

You discarded,

You confidential waste,

Its never fair to feel this tired,

Alone and out of place.



So for one night lets go dancing

On those sticky floors,

Returning all the smiles,

Holding all the doors,

Cos in these hours we will make it

We’ll be far away from here,

We will never fall asleep,

We’ll never feel their fear.



The hours that your spending,

Not knowing how to pass the time,

Drawing the curtains on the sun

And never betting on the blinds,

You start looking lost down a one way street,

Forgetting how to how to laugh with love

Or what ghost to meet.



So for one night lets go dancing

On those sticky floors,

Catching all the eyes,

Opening all the doors,

Cos in these hours we will make it

We’ll be far away from here,

We will never fall asleep,

                        We’ll never feel their fear.



(Money’s a necessity, this sweet splendour’s free)



So for one night lets go dancing

On those sticky floors,

Catching all the eyes,

Opening all the doors,

In these hours we will make it

We’ll be far away from here,

We will never fall asleep,

                        We’ll never feel their fear.

Once
every beach
had our name on,
a potential place to walk
and be us
for special hours.
Slowly a tide covered those days
and no more shore for sure foot to stand,
steps gone under sea covered land;
no more roaming nowhere hand in hand,
no more roaming nowhere hand in hand,
no more roaming nowhere hand in hand,
no more roaming nowhere hand in hand,
unmoored,
a sun not ours anymore,
a sun not ours anymore,
a sun not ours anymore.

Aww you,
close as air
but far as the moon;
near today
then away too soon.

After fierce rain
the sun appears,
and makes a seemingly engrained deluge instantly forgettable;

that's what you do too:

your welcoming soothes the soaked in from the storm;

all your smile and suddenly

everything's warm.

Your scintillating self
appears true
to me now;
I tilt my head and you're there
being brilliant,
with a ease
all your own.

A once
same eyes sky
seen through by distance;
a full leaving,
scene by scene,
green by green,
a summer sparkle
losing gleam.

A pirouette on ground;
your twirling turns the sun around.

Near you
is being sat under butterfly blue skies;
a world resplendent with confident soaring,
not seeming
to flutter by.

Near you
is being sat under butterfly blue skies;
a world resplendent with confident soaring,
not seeming
to flutter by.

Near you
is being sat under butterfly blue skies;
a world resplendent with confident soaring,
not seeming
to flutter by.

In the house
where fought was known as nothing
i'll gallop up the stairs with a bounding born
of what
you gave
to me;
super strides
and
a
chance
to see.

Things start in different ways,
sometimes soft and faint
hardly rippling
still
but
gentle
with glorious intent.
Or, instantly sudden,
sodden in anew,
caught in the unstoppable
thrall
of quickening season,
fast and swift,
with love the reason

Nest prepared with care;
waning winter waits
for breaking shell,
and migrates
in the air
of a fledgling spring.

Step upon this ground
make it more than it is.
It trembles as you tread,
happy to hold you,
as air is happy to hold you
how long you stay
or say,
now
and
today.

Still,
this summer breeze;
no wait for me
or
weight on me;
you make me light
and untouched by form,
when we touched you were warm enough to startle the birds
from the trees,
on the summer breeze.

The word on the street is
you're gone,
as seen morning breath will attest.
But in these columns of sunshine
this summer here appears,
and butterfly wings
still have time
to do their things.

In the shape of your movement
my tummy is stormed
by jingles
and foxtrots,
it leaps a ballet
as you punctuate
air
with glorious panache.
It always tries to run everywhere
when you
come into view;
all the tumbling roams
at the slight tour of your smile.

A hurricane
stopping slowly,
the torrent dispersed
to be other air;
us as we were
before a hint of together.

You can
sit still in all those
typhoons
and
hurricanes,
never changed,
always the same;
thoughtful,
unrushed,
at the helm of wonder.

When I see you,
near,
or far,
I always quicken my steps,
the eager to be closer brings rapidity to the fore;
the seeking fast
wanting more.

You can pop in a lot
of months,
before
you're here
or after
you've gone,
like a sunny sky day in April
or
a leaf full floor autumn one,
but when you are wide and bright,
on the cusp of schools breaking up
and July imminent,
your shine
is not
a hint or a trace;
it's all of your blue
right up to space.

Today,
in the supposed
bleak mid winter
you arrived,
and warmed,
and shone,
as if never
been gone.

Silly
to hear you say
that I might not have thought
you looked beautiful
today;
your stupendous made dally
with all the air,
your best side everywhere.

Around you
defences drop,
ramparts rescind,
blocks become silly things;
you open with smile the fleck of tut,
move all to joy
and end the shut.

Have a happy day,
Don’t let the system get you down,
Don’t get the ties tangled on your dressing gown,
Don’t worry about money there will always be some more,
Don’t fret about dying, for that there is no cure,
Don’t sit around and crave the love you think eludes,
Don’t scowl at the late bus driver, you are only being rude,
Don’t think the best of your every word, ego is a fickle friend,
Don’t horde all your drugs, you’ll always have to lend,
Don’t mock somebody because they are not the same as you,
Don’t believe in absolutes, not everything is true,
Don’t discard a smile, it’s good for you, you know,
Have a happy day and read some Edgar Allen Poe!

Super duper...

Even if there was nothing to get over
you'd arrive
like a saviour
and see no dust
in immaculate,
it must be hard to rescue pristine,
no damsel
no distress,
no mess,
just a flutter of your cape making a strong heart quiver,
and made me want to say;
come here soon
anyway.

When my breath is your breath
It’s enticing as the assured
of a morning
in a long sunny day.

Our precision,
the click
of cogs,
knowing what is
and knowing what was;
I recks in the multiverse
from beginning to end
there would not be a chapter when I was not your friend.