Dont worry if you feel weird,
Dont worry if you feel you dont belong,
Because you are not meant to be here,
You are meant to outshine this world.
So smile, your planet awaits.

Why do I feel I'm such a failure?
Why do I feel I don't deserve anything?
Why do I need to reassure myself every minute?
Why do I need to stop myself from inflicting pain?

Dear God,
forgive me if I told you not today.

When the rope inside my cabinet suddenly fall
and my brain cells start screaming to try it on.

When I saw a car driving at 120kph
and my feet itches to stop it.

When I saw my brother's sleeping pills
and my throat yells to swallow it all.

Or when my eyebrow shaver waves at me
and my wrists want to be written at.

Forgive me if I told you not today.

When I saw my niece smiling at me
and I suddenly want to witness how she grows.

When I saw the sun shines the sky even in light of the storm.

When I feel so down but people start cheering me on.

Maybe 2 weeks from now.
I can finally agree.
But maybe not.

It won't pay your bills
It won't pay your debt
It won't pay your dream wedding
But it can fill you whole.

Im starting to drown myself with works that I've been doing for so long.
And every time I fail you're always there to remind me how stupid I am.
I only want to succeed and be the woman I've dreamt to become,
But I know in your eyes all my hardwork were and never be enough.

I want to scream as loud as I can just for me not to hear your voice anymore.
Your words that tells me what to do and your mad face I'm afraid to stare.
I want to be free from the grip of your expectations,
For I just want to live my life as strong yet carefree.

So if you're reading this I want you to hear me out,
Listen to what my hearts shouts even for once.
Give me the air that was stolen from me to breathe,
And just be happy for everybody including me.

My loving self, free me from your past.
Break the chain that keeps me in your arms.
Let me wander a different path,
For us to have a better life- away from people's expectations and wrath.

When you finally find a job that is decent, that pays quite enough and you love but your body betrays you, weakens you, and sabotage your dream.

Will you continue working despite the sleepless yet satisfying days? Or will you quit and listen to your body?

'I promise'
Said the girl whose words are lies
"This time I can"
Said the boy who's afraid to try,
"It is too late?"
Said the woman who's always behind time,
"I love you"
Said the man whose heart can never be mine.

Sometimes I wish I'm a different person,
Sometimes I wish I could easily be in a relationship,
Sometimes I wish I could be normal,
Because I'm tired now of being the person they want me to be.
I'm tired of bridging things just to save everybody.
I'm tired of being the strong one when in fact I need someone whom I can hug, kiss, and cry my burdens to.
I'm freaking tired of this life.
I'm don't know what to do anymore.

Know
that
One
day,
it
will
be
worth
the
fight.

I was hollowed
I was shattered
I run before but I couldn’t run away.
You were there
Watching me from afar
You tried to catch me but you didn’t try actually.
We were lost
And we will never meet again
Like a parallel lines that will never intersect.
They can give us new life
They make us happy
But not as the happiness we had before we drop it all away.

Hush darling,
Don't moan out loud.
Tell when to stop this,
Tell when you had enough.

Like that darling,
Tap the table but not too hard.
Feel the rhythm,
Dance  the beat.

Because this won't end soon,
before you knew it.

In our dreams
let's share our stories,
our failures,
our passion,
but not our hearts.

They say all is fair in love, but when I remember you I can’t help but feel pain.

Pain knowing that you’re not mine to lose.
Pain knowing that what we have was just a friendship and nothing else.
Pain knowing that no matter how hard I pray to make this work, we will never be.

And today, I hope that whatever emotions I’m feeling right now, I’ll be at peace knowing that I will no longer know this pain.

Its not the first time I did it,
Nor the last that I plan,
For there is something good about it,
something refreshing.

It was still dawn when I found her
slightly sleepy yet alert.
I think she knew what was bound to happen,
yet I pray that she don´t.

I slowly focus my 9mm,
a little low from her bowed head.
Her eyes flickered a little when I sighed and pulled the trigger.

I hit her!
I hit her hard!
She fell from the branch she was sitting,
her body now lying on the ground.

When I was about to pick her up,
I was caught frozen at my place.
A chain was pulling me back,
holding me hard that I can´t breathe.

'Stop the stupid storytelling,´ a man said.
'Stop believing that you can make a change.´

The woods turned to walls,
The ground turned to cold granite floors,

And her I am again
lying on the floor,
staring at the broken mirror,
remembering each my unfortunate luck,
while the dead mockingbird stares back.

Ang aming salita ay unti unti nang naglalaho.
Ang mga karanasan noong unang panahon ay hindi na nababasa.
Ang mga masining na kultura´t tradisyon ay mistulang larawan na lamang ng nakaraan.
Ang mga masasayang okasyon ay isa na lamang pangarap.

Ang lahat ng ito ay nawala sa pagdating ng bago, Inay.
Pilit ka man nilang palitan, ang dugo mo pa rin ang nananalaytay sa amin.
Ang pagkaPilipino ay hinding hindi mapapalitan gaano man karaming lenggwahe, kagamitan o oportunidad ang dumating.
Ako ay titindig at magsasalita pa rin ng lenggwaheng aking ipagmamalaki saanman sa mundo.
Para sayo aking Inang Pilipinas, kami ay aasenso nang hindi nakakalimut sa nakaraan.

Don't let her fall
If you don't intend
To keep her.

Don't fix her heart
If one day
You'll break her.

Don't say promises
If one day
You'll leave her.

Just say what you feel,
Do what you want
Without secong guessing,
For that it what she deserves.

No lies,
No sweet words,
No broken promises.

If
three years
is
difficult,
this year
i'll be
STRONGER.

You’ll seat in your chair feeling all their eerie disappointments, high expectations and endless rants.
You’ll see them laughing and having fun at your wide window.
You’ll hear them talking about you, other people, the office.
You’ll begin to feel small, dizzy and worthless.
You’ll beg the wall not to squeeze you hard because you cannot breathe anymore.
You’ll beg your laptop not to scream memories and endless list of failures that he witnessed.
You’ll beg your mind to stop reminding you of your faults, of your wrong decisions.
But a knock on the door will save you. A small talk from the people who laughs at you will make you calm.
You’ll act nothing is happening.
You’ll act as if you do not care
Then you’ll repeat this until you cannot breathe... at last

Let me take the blame of not doing what I need to do,
The time that I should have said goodbye but opted not to,
The time that I just counted cars with different hue,
And the time that I didn’t choose who’s better between them and You.

Let me take the blame of being vulnerable.
For letting my feelings be seen by everyone in the hall,
For giving them the glimpse to look at my permanent hole,
And for surrendering for You at the very last goal.

Let me take the blame of all the injustices.
All the tears of families for their lost father’s kisses.
All the wives who grieves for their husband’s wrongful deceases,
And all the dreams we planned that now slowly ceases.

Let me take the blame of being prideful,
Moments that were passed to ask for forgiveness and be mindful,
Moments to set aside self-reservations and be humble,
And moments to let go dreams and believe that Your plan is more beautiful.

Let me take it even for the last time,
Feel the pain that You’ve bare and make it mine.
Because I know that You’ve been there for me till the end of line,
Watching and taking the blame so that I can be fine.

Goodbye my almost lover
Thank you for making me feel special in your peculiar way.
Thank you for the memories that I will cherish until I finally moved on from you.
Thank you for opening my eyes that there’s a future for me and I don’t need to sulk in a corner.
Thank you for giving complications in my life that help me forget my demons even just for a while.
Yet let me write about you for a while
Until this pain inside me subsides

Hi! How are you?
I see that you're online.
What are you up to these days?
I hope you are not stressed up with your work.
I still dream about you, about us.
Giving each other tenders kisses and tight hugs.
I miss you every single day that pass.
Do you miss me too?
Or you really forgot about me?
How can you be so okay that I'm finally gone?
How can you be so okay that I'm hurting?
How can you be so okay when I'm not?
I miss you.
I really do.
You are the first man I've ever learned to love,
the first one I've ever kissed that hard,
and the first one that I risked everything just to be by your side.
I miss you.
I really hope that I won't miss you anymore.

Hi, love!
It's been more than a week since you stopped talking to me.
I still miss you and still asks the "what ifs,"
but don't worry I know I'll get over you soon.

Last night I cried again because I came across your picture on my phone.
That was the night we head out for dinner and had a great time.
However, these memories will just remain as happy memories
because I know that you already made up your mind and nothing can change it.
I just hope we had time to properly talk for the last time.

Yet I know that having no closure is the closure
Since we are just dating each other and it's only me who fell in love.
From now on, baby, I will forget you as fast as I can.
I will no longer cry whenever I hear the songs you used to sing or remember things we did together.
I will no longer whisper your name in my dreams and write poems for you.
and I will no longer look for your face whenever I'm outside.

Thank you for being my first love, baby.
Thank you for breaking my heart.

People used to tell life is amazing,
But they never told me how hard to have one.

People used to tell life is full of surprises,
But they never told me that some are not worth the price.

People used to tell life is a roller coaster,
But they never told me what to do when you reached the end.

People used to tell enjoy life to the fullest.
But I never did until I was running out too late.

In the vastness of Internet
I found myself,

In a small corner where no one thought exists.

It had my heart, my thoughts, my words scribbling on their own.

Sharing, narrating the fears and forgotten roles.

It may be in verse with rhyming and measure,

Or just a hundred word ***** with no pressure.

But whatever it is,
I wouldn't dare to run no more,
For I have found my secret home.

I long for thy love that makes me blush:
The sweet notes every morning,
The random kisses when you meet,
And the cuddles at night.

I long for thy love that makes me sane:
The endless calls that motivates,
The simple touch that keeps you heart alert,
And the silly winks during dinner date.

And I wonder if I will still have the chance to feel those,
Because I know that there's possibility that I won't.
So should I prepare myself being alone,
Or I'll keep waiting for thy love I long for?

I don’t know what to do anymore
I keep on making decisions, I don’t know if it’s worthy
I want to cross the road and feel the pain caused by the car
I want to inflict pain that I wanted for so long
I want to be gone
But I can’t
Because I have work
I have responsibilities
I have obligations
That I need to do
I need to fulfill.
I hate wandering around and feeling lost and empty
I hate this feeling
I hate myself

I want to shout until my ears hurt.
I want to curse until I ran out of words.
I want to run until I can't stand on my feet.
I want to stab myself until I can no longer breathe.

I want to be back to my own self,
I want to be free.
But everytime I try.
I can feel your hands' tight grip.

I've been depressed for three years now.
I've been suffering for sleepless nights.
I've been seeking for help a lot of times,
But no one dared to notice my cry.

They knew me as a strong girl,
The one who always smile.
But this time I know I'm afraid.
Afraid of what I can do to myself.

I'm the class clown,
The bright yellow icing in a dull cupcake,
The rare music fair in town.

I'm the internet´s viner,
The one who tells joke in a party,
The one who secretly have tinder.

I'm the joy in every occasion,
The sunshine in every rain,
The one who never had permanent position.

Though sometimes I love who am I,
But this is not the path I like,
For making everbody happy is hard,
When you are breaking inside.

Home is not home,
if you're gone...

Take a step,
Don’t be afraid to fall.
Go, move forward,
And don’t look back.

No, you did!
Why did you look back?
Is it not that simple?
‘coz we’re back again to square one.

Move a little.
Do not hesitate to walk.
Plunge into things that make you happy.
Jump to your shadow’s reality.

That’s it, but more!
Run and never stop.
Please do not stop and look back.
Forget me—your past—your dreadful past.

I was a hopeless wanderer when we met,
My eyes were swollen from last night's tears, while Yours smiles from ear to ear,
I dont even remember if I knew you personally back then but you knew that I'm one of your lost daughters.

You crossed the space between us and offered Your hand,
You wipe my tears away and made me smile,
You said I should not fear because I have you now,
And you were right, things are better when You're in my side.

For years I tried to ask the what ifs,
But the truth is I should have started asking what is,
What is life without Your love and grace?
What is world without Your presence in any place?

It may take time before we truly meet,
But I thank you for everything.
You've been kind through out my life,
You've been loving that I cant even thank you enough.

Let me then praise You and worship You,
For when my heart was on pieces, you picked them and glued them together,
Not for me to love somebody again but for me to Love You more each day My Victorious King.

I had another breakdown today.
I was walking in our street, the sun is out and the sky is beautiful, but it didn't stop my tears from flowing,
telling me that no matter how strong I thought I am is, I still need to step back and breathe.

I wiped my face after two, three tears fell, because my 3-year-old nephew was so happy waving his tiny hand as I pass by.
I smiled and asked God to keep me sane... even just for today.

I went to work feeling down and hotheaded. It feels like my colleagues don't want to do their tasks. I hate myself for a minute in accepting this job, but then I remembered those who don't have any on their table. 'I'm still blessed,' I said.

Then a minute ago, Mom called me up, asking me if I'm fine. And I said 'Yes.' because I don't want her to worry. I don't want her to see that I'm slowly dying because of my job. That at night I cry myself to sleep, thinking all the belittles and anger and curses that my boss throws at me. Hoping that tomorrow, if I'm still breathing
I will walk in our street
the sun is out and the sky is beautiful,

Of all the things I love to see,
Nothing compares thy thee: his
Eyes, his mouth, his heart.
I would always choose you my love, my only ONE.

Years ago, I would put up a white flag instead of fighting back.

Years ago, I would make a toasted cheese instead of my favorite.

But that moment in a lift, a night in December, I knew my heart turned cold.

That my once favorite name that I always whisper, is now the one that  I despise.

For that "you count on me" line, turned to "don't try to ask me back."

Patawad Inay sa walang pakundangang pagsuway sa iyong mga pinaguutos,
Sa walang kagatol-gatol na pagsumbat sa bawat pangaral,
Sa walang lamas na pagwaldas sa mga pinaghirapan niyong salapi,
At sa patuloy na pakikipagkaibigan sa mga kaaway.

Ako,
kami,
ay hindi na nakikinig,
hindi na natututo mula sa mga nangyari noong pahanon mo,
mula sa mga karanasang hindi mo malilimutan.

Kaya´t Inay sa susunod na mga taon ay sisikapin ko, sa tulong ng aking mga kapatid, ng aking mga kaibigan na patuloy na nagtitiwala sa akin, ay babaguhin ko ang aming bansa. Kami ay magiging radikal upang ang pagbabagong ito ay hindi masayang at maging isang panaginip lamang.

Let me hold you,
Let me feel your warmth while it still lasts.
Let me cry out how awful my day went,
from the two hours delay due to traffic to tons of paper works in the office.
And how I missed a lunch meeting because of a mishap in the site.
Yet let me dry my tears first before my sleepiness takes me away,
And believe in the idea
that you will always be there for me, hugging me so tight at night

I don’t know when did this start
that i long my old self:
the cheerful and optimistic;
the kind and always eager;
the girl who knows what she wants;
the girl who knows how to write;
because every time I stare at the mirror
all I can see is a failure.