times of insecurity
say goodbye to the past
where all was easy
always easier
to walk away

feelings, what do i feel
what do you feel
do i even feel?
something
oh, hey, i feel pain

but where are the tears?
a lack of acknowledge
doubt, like an old friend
i've known myself for so long
maybe just not very well

and it's scary, i know
it hurts to be

the one behind me
in the mirror i can't see
still looking for a way
to confront myself
with me

let them carry
the heavy heart
two golden hands
moving with stardust
and up it goes
into the universe
peaceful there
no need
for anything
you can just lie down
and rest
for as long as you want
the pain will disappear
will be alright
when the heart is with
planets and starlight

the dominant mind of sadness
it's 3 am and i still havent had rest
thinking about words and actions
who and what is really mine
and why does it matter so much
your anesthetic touch
what can i become, who's me
an ever lost and tired soul searching
all by myself, i need to do something
but i'm waiting for the day
i have the strenght to release myself
the one that's me, be happy
but waiting and hoping is bad
just like stress of the sensitive and
death, in a self destructive brain

oh how i envy him
no head full of thoughts
tiresome emotions
and sigh, and sights
overthinking human beings
in the beautiful moonlight
something flies over
a screaming owl in the night
for he has found a comfortable place
and the clock is ticking through
the running water of the river
but still he's dominating
silence
oh how i envy you

i don't feel the love of your words
just hear the questions
to make another joke of me
the laughter of evil

but how could i know what love is?
at least i felt something, close
with the devil, but that didn't matter
for an abandoned girl alone

Lekker alles voor zoete koek blijven slikken
tot het zich een aan elkaar gekleefd mengsel vormt
een vastzittende brok in de keel
waarin men langzaam
in stokkende adem

stikt

the blood in my veins a speedboat
a suffocating feeling in my throat
this body is not made for the brain
unexpressed frustration and pain
should there be a reason for it all
or is it just the me seeing it all fall

simply living in a land of the fittest
however not fair to criticize the nearest
alone when i see them losing their minds
lonelier when i see i have lost my mind
i wish to be free but i feel brainwashed
being judged and misunderstood
expressing the bottled-up hatred
it's so exhausting, often feels wasted

then you start writing - let some **** go
still trying hard not to go with the flow
and always wishing, wishing to be a bird
untouchable like an eagle
invisible for the entire earth
then i'm just existing, being there
pure behaviour and unspoilt nature

ocean of misery
power and money
it's always the same
life
vague
that all is fake
at least it seems to
be
honestly
let the steaming mist
slowly fade away

kankerlijer
klootzak
met een halve maan op je gezicht
het is goed bedoelt
als dat het minder erg moet maken
maar nee
het enige wat ik nodig had
was een grijntje begrip
een beetje respect misschien
nu is het al gebeurt
gezegd en gedaan
zal ik jouw gezicht liever niet meer zien
of krijg ik zin om te slaan
sorry oke
maar zonder traan
oprechtheid ver te zoeken dan
is het voorbij
niet meer dichtbij
het is gedaan
klootzak
en nog bedankt voor de argwaan

slowly riding in the wind
the black hair of my horse
against a meaningless body
breaking through the night
as the stars watch over us
but the horse starts to sink
into this swamp of sand
with its hot burning surface
leaving me behind
in a peaceful silent darkness

let it fall down
a bookcase on my head
like thunder
it's everywhere
the chaos
a raging wind
the pressure from above
while i lie there
down on the ground
terrified and gone

they can be happy
don't realize much
about all that's happening
in this sickened world
drinking and partying
just living your life
not giving a single ****
when the world dies
not giving a single ****
about another persons life

they can not be happy
a reason they don't have
nagging and crying
running in circles
is that possibly what you want
and don't know how to change
'we live a life in vain anyway'
but what do you know about fighting
have you ever fought for a certain life?

so it's sad to notice
from a distance
they only care, care
about their own world
there's nothing else to see
living in their locked cage
because they never looked
for the redeemer, the key

thinking about you
the one who understands
without speaking
like a fist on the surface
squeezed muscle underneath
the power of you
and the infinite heat

por mi parte soy o creo ser músico
escuchadora de la nada, visitante del mundo,
admiradora de los gatos, uno de los animales,
la interpelante, creyente que todo es interesante,
investigadora de los ojos, amante de las ondas,
bastante obstinada, pero cada vez tu ayudante

una habladora, la interruptora del silencio
de todos modos la guardia de tu gran secreto
simpatizante del arte, todo lo que es dulce,
las lenguas romanas y las puestas del sol
enemigo de la monotonía y el capitalismo
luchadora por todo lo que es un organismo

it's just a matter of time
that their heads will hang
and beautiful red color
stares to the ground
untill they fall down
however i have enjoyed
the power of a flower
your beauty of time

and i'm alone in bed again
thinking about your face
the tranquility of it
i've enjoyed so much

your tired body
sunken in the nest
heavy eyelids
sleeping through chaos

so peaceful
so hopeful

just a single touch
would break the silence
of this warm place
your dreamy face

i wouldn't touch
not even embrace
to keep it in my memory
never to erase

quiero pensar en español otra vez
hablar con una persona nueva
esta persona de mi mente
quien he cambiado
está cambiando
cada día
ella
mi vida
siento que va muy rápido
a veces siento como dos
accelerando los pasos
a la mente formada
según ella
mi vida
yo

why do my ears hear but not listen
everyone around me seems so calm
what's the actual reason for that
i live in this world of terror
it's a chaos in my head
games and smartphones
till you're finally dead

the pills people take
problems that i make
for something they call god sake
i see them all running
from train to train
from brain to brain
all eyes upon me
my dear pain
feeling crazy and insane

and working for what
a certain dead rat
on the corner of the street
strangers that i meet
influence of dead flowers
with misleading powers
i just wanna go away
leave me alone; okay

slayer saves my body
from smashing everything down
but who saves my mind
i frown
psychologist that doesn't reply
just another ****** institution
to unleash all my frustration?
i don't have to go to jail
even though the isolation cell
seems to be a perfect trail

if this poem hasn't structure
well it won't be me to give a ****
welcome in my crazy mind
now run over me with your truck
keep me under your control
so at the end of the day
smoking **** will be my goal
or something else to forget
stress and panic in hell

how i feel
how i fell
how i always have felt

sure something is there, behind me

me encanta esperar hasta el tiempo que me vas a abrazar
después mis palabras de enojo, tus miradas rechazadas..

pues no somos las personas desesperadas, somos esforzados
después todos los años cansados, llena del enojo y desamor

un nube de lluvia en tus brazos pero sin sentir vergüenza
tus latidos del corazón que pueden escapar de la tristeza

ahora y nunca más
amamos

sometimes it feels like i'm the one
and all the worry has a reason
i should do something here
something senseful
across the border
over the line
but it's all such a haze
can't see through my eyes
what's happening
maybe someone else can see
help me
the questions of life
i don't belong because
the most people don't let me go
and didn't let me.. so there i go
back into the closet of thoughts
there should be something more
can't believe i'm wrong
or this feeling wouldn't exist
at least not this strong
why am i here?

rusteloosheid
en vastgeroest verdriet
niemand ziet
het lam tussen de wolven
maar ver komt het niet
waar komt het vandaan
en waar is het geboren
of zit dat tussen haar oren
als er weer eens niemand is
het aftuigen van zelf
nog hopen op meer
lichamelijk zeer
een druppel wanhoop
gemengd met wantrouwen
en al gauw, de wanemmer verzoop
in eigen tranen
dan stromen het doet
en blijft stromen voor goed
rusteloosheid
diep in de nacht
wanneer er niemand op je wacht
behalve de ster achter de wolken
geen woorden maar daden
ja dat zal het zijn
maar het tegenbewijs valt klein
woorden onhoorbaar
een jongen die lacht
het vertrouwen ontkracht
een laatste afscheidsgroet
valt niet helemaal goed
als de duisternis nabij
zoals mijn geboorte
alleen en vrij
later zeer zelfstandig
maar nog geen procent als de rest
verpest
verpest
waarom ben ik zo anders
wat is er mis met mij, zo vrij
iedereen een ander perspectief
en ik begrijp het maar niet
ook al noemen ze mij lief
de wereld redden
met iedereen erin
heeft opeens weinig zin
als het verboden blijkt te zijn
slechts een eenzijdig spel
ach, het lam weet het nu wel
tevergeefs
rennend in de ochtendzon
verscholen in een wolkenbed
de eerste straal licht
uit het zicht
uit het zicht van de wolven
waar anders heen
springend over steentjes
met sterke beentjes
alleen in de grote wei
waarin de stilte zo groot
haar hart stilletjes vergroot
zo ook de klap van pijn
de enorme val
zo jong al
de verhouding van zwaarte
en het verdragen
aan de andere kant het extreem behagen
dat is toch geen rechte lijn
maar slechts twee woorden mochten er zijn
in steen gekerfd, beroerd gepolijst
blijdschap en depressie
maar niets er tussen in
want dat had toch geen zin
voor iemand met sensitieve uitersten
bestaat geen middenin
toch levende in een wereld van het midden
zoek balans, het middelpunt
en *** men het haar ook gunt
ze was nu eenmaal als lam geboren
en niet als schaap..  (noch rund)

blind als een mol
gravend in de grond
het was haar eigen graf
waar ze uiteindelijk op stond
omringd door de vertrouwde pijn
vroeg zich af wel van haar te zijn
met borstkas gespleten door twee
het lam kreeg heimwee
stond half dood op
wachtend op één
met hart nog langzaam trekkend
lekkend
de geur van aarde in vacht
wie had deze terugkomst ooit verwacht
en het worden van schaap
in wolfskleren
wilde zich immers niet bezeren
want moe het al was
met steen gevulde buik
de val nu slechts een kras
en wist niet eens meer wat de val was
de doorn(en) uit verleden
gestoken in vers vlees
al genoeg geleden
dus besloot nu gewoon ook wolvin
je bent een wolf, meisje
je bent een wolfmeisje
met het schaap
bloedend
nog ergens binnenin

sits in darkness
sweating a bloodbath
teardrops from my eager eyes
can't control the universe
in a world unknown
my broken body
cares
swims in black lakes
searches for the shore
tiresome
there are fireflies
between a billion lies
sparkle upon the water
call them, call them
but say nothing more
there are secrets between
these hydrogen atoms
hidden, very well

on a hot summerday
jumping in an open field
one little blade of grass
with a name on it

why do i see it from this far?

it might not exist
i pull it out of the ground
exterminate
as soon as possible

...

she shows me her fist
the *******
but i don't see a thing
she shows me her belly
her soft lips in my neck
but i don't feel a thing
she says i love you..
do something for me?
but i don't hear a thing

she reaches out her hand
might be a last goodbye
but besides all apps
i can not touch something
and nothing can touch me
neither love nor life

becoming the machine
an immortal thing
saying
i admire
the machine

cigarette smoke slides down the negative spiral
if they still care
if they still mind
dead people in a dead world
i just want to see blood to strike down
the red flood all over me would be such a relieve
from the pain and torture
feel mother earth's tears
crying a tragic death
all the people fight against her tears, she shouldn't cry
but forget
to fight against her death

she looked at herself in the mirror
her skin shimmered in the glass
while the other side of her face
full filled with a shade of black

lips of red and purple
her hair was ginger alive
while the other part looked dead
in the shadow, everything fifty fifty

everything seems so perfect in the mirror

soms een erg tegenstrijdig gevoel
gelukkig zijn
terwijl je weet hoeveel mensen
er wegkwijnen van de pijn
medeleven, empathie
houden mijn lach nu tegen
heeft niks te maken met verlegen
of depressie
nee, het zijn al deze andere levens
die ik altijd maar dichtbij voel, zie
een gift zou je zeggen?
als iemand de zwaarte ervan begreep
als ik het nu eens op tafel kon leggen

mijn medemens heb ik tot egoïst bekroond
omdat men in mijn ogen
te weinig interesse in elkaar toont
kijken alleen naar zichzelf of scherm
zoemen rustig mee in de zwerm
tot ik mijn mond open trek
verschijnt er plotseling een blinde vlek
noemen ze me gek..
willen de waarheid niet onder ogen zien
ik zeg ze: je kan altijd meer geven of doen
al geef je miljoen keer die zelfde zoen
moet de waarde er dan vanaf gaan?
of kan men gewoon blijven genieten
in dit bestaan
meer dan 'normaal' aan elkaar geven
meer dan deze maatschappij
*** graag ik dat altijd al had willen beleven

my skin twinkles
sparkles white
on a red surface
then, out of sight

with passion
i pressed my wet lips
on yours
so i could taste
your tongue
soft and sweet
in a mouth full of drops
or somewhere between
two subtle tongues
when the sky fell down
on us
we
dancing in the storm
and heavy rain
jumping with the thunder
all we needed
we
between all
damps from the day
wishing to be naked
and free
like our bodies
during an evening storm

these constant changing moods
make me scared of myself
the lost stone in my throat
my words in a book on a shelf

in a certain library far away
way too giant for my eyes
i just can't seem to find the book
even though the people seem very nice

something rises out of the ground
impose a blockade in front of the desk
it's very quiet when i look around
and i can't ask for help, ever again

maybe the only way is writing
because then it's really mine
me i and none else except..
the pain just like a bloodline
a line none knows the cause of
looks like a road to nowhere
and i just don't seem to change
again let my body walk into a well
i wish to end up like Alice but no
still ending up in a certain hell

no existence of cloud nine
never giving me
no definition to determine
who i am inside

like giving a name to a tornado
everything we have to define
looking for a ******* sign
maybe the only way is writing
so many hours spent, tired of
forever waiting for a guideline
same tiresome fears here inside
and i just don't seem to change
giving till i'm giving to give, giving
then finally giving myself away..

een meisje wilt iets
na een feest
slapen bij jou
want ze is nog nooit
zo ver weg geweest

aan jouw zijde sta ik
en met meelevend hart
zei je 'dat is goed'
op dat moment zei ik
'goodbye' to my mood

ik hou me groot
ik hou mijn mond
terwijl ik wil zakken
me laten vallen
op de grond

als van binnen
een demoon of meer
mij aan het verslinden zijn
negatief van de pijn
ik voel me klein

dat het goed is, zei je
tegen wat?
bij mijn ex had ik hier
nooit last van
geen moeite mee gehad

nu graaf ik dan misschien
elke keer mijn graf
maar dit hier was een droom
gebroken wakker
is niet iets dat ik mezelf gaf

en ik weet niet wat te zeggen
weet niet wat ik moet doen

misschien is jouw hart goed
maar zo is onze ****
laat het de onze blijven
niet verpesten door een heks

rampscenarios om te overleven
bedrogen door eigen boven kamer
maar om **** niet erger te maken
is het soms beter te zwijgen

omdat je de 'ja' hebt
maar 'nee' nog **** krijgen

and then finally the rain
tears locked up inside
broken days of pain
thanks to my heavy heart
the moon and the wine
i'm getting so tired of
this dark poison of mine
now the snakes are gone
it seems too late..

she's tired, can't even sleep
the morning serves her
a new day to try
another day in vain
she is so tired of trying
but still dreaming to gain
total comprehension
no need for certain words
and lying dreams

dreaming dreams of an end
the end of the everlack

i wish i could do more than this
i wish i could make you really happy
so you'd never have to face the darkness
never more. and i would **** for it..
but i know you won't let me

i whisper you my honest words
i have trust in you, your little girl
it will be alright if you keep faith
inside i feel the anger of injustice
and i simply stay calm and close

what evil dares to take such a big part
of your life, of your tender heart
they tried to fill it with black
i wish i could give her back
i can only give you red..

all good you exist of i return
meanwhile in your eyes i read
someone is still missing
someone is a part of you
i wish i could change it by kissing

now i know love, unstoppable
who deserved what years ago?
i wish to have known the possible
a little bit earlier in our existence
existing and making ourselves tired

so outrageous for the soul
but it also has made us grown
this crap has fed us with intelligence
for others unknown feelings, hatred
running blood in my veins

way too much salt water in my heart
it's easy to flow with all the sadness
but ain't gonna tell me to go back to start
it makes me strive a little bit more
because we deserve each other

i never want to be afraid anymore
i want to fight and improve
without losing something
i can fight and improve
without losing some thing

how i appreciate i can finally give it
and feel like it's me being able to live
someone was always missing
someone was a part of me
it was the love in me - i couldn't give

perdido en un sueño
sin sonambulismo
mi piel del nieve
con las hojas de hierba
tantas cosas
tanta gente
y yo
incapacitado
en silencio
nunca más
el silencio
y yo, ahora en paz
con mi verdadera amiga
cerré mi boca para siempre

zo lang vechten
iets om te hechten
geef mijn mijn rechten
terug

leef
leven
recht om te leven
zonder streven

vrouw zonder einde
een punt in de zin
met tegenzin
de waanzin

the bark echoes through my heart
stucked in a cage, forever
judged at birth
he was just a little pup
while some others ran free
the egoism of human
and none understands
i hope you die neighbour!
call it a soul that lives there
while a lonely dog's bark contains much more
than the soul of such deadmans
in a life without compassion

free me
free me..

what do you want from me
always bother, never let me sleep
always looking at me, moon
why don't you just come down?
when all clouds washed away from you
together we watch over this town

without the singing birds
without all buzzing people
only a few street lanterns to see
and my face, glowing in your light
sharing thoughts and words of rhythm
makes it a pretty special night*

...

wild as the blowing wind
patient like the night
seeing you, seeing me
the first hidden light

the sprinkle water on you
will soon be vaporized
on a lava-like body
and i'm still mesmerized

from all direct words
till the warmth of hands
touch above your ears
in our timeless sands

like candles in an open window
fighting against the storm
stay awake and give
light in any form

my thoughts you speak
as a voice from outer space
the horse in your heart of fire
sure runs, but is ready to embrace

times of being, like in dreams
human at its peak
rough times of melting
strong and weak

from your old face changing
in enthusiastic times
till the fear of change
by our darker rhymes

makes me want to
crack you open like a peanut
then makes you able to
put me on the surgeon table, and cut

the poor balance of trust
appreciated to have found
the good, has overwhelmed
even though not bound

this is my freedom:
no need to feel paralized
my freedom is yours
and i'm still mesmerized

still angry to see
how these mofos
damaged me
apparently
i never noticed
the sandpaper
my sacrifice

there you said it
i like you because..
you’re sensitive
me? sensitive? an ever mask
but maybe
with you
maybe
i can finally put that **** off
and i like you because..
you really want to
help me too
face the darkness
end a career i don’t like
the so called doctor
never voted for a strike
even though i never earned a penny
like these argentinian doctors
they help them in hospitals, many
in poor districts with poor people
because they have nothing
some not even a foot to stand
and the doctors have everything
they think
as if they differ mentally
they think there’s a difference
between such rich and poor
see nothing else
so they always ask for more
but nowadays
for me
it are just temporary words
a weak or strong one doesn't exist
because in weak times
we all need a superman
inclusive the man in red suit
even Peter Pan
one that comes with high speed
still questioning yourself
how superman has got so strong
what does superman actually need?

and now i say it
that from the day i met you
i felt it was different
than all these times before
because i simply can't compare
and on my lucky day, you just opened the door
the door of my cage so severe
this beast in me finally free
it felt so incredibly weird
new things to see
unusual, too
that someone thinks
and thinks pretty much like you
all you told me, so sincere
still questioning myself
where has this been before?
a burning soul like yours
maybe because i always fell for the poor
while you were being superman
all these years, wandering
sauntering through a poor land
you slammed
into exotic beaches
that started with leeches and ended with peaches,
beautiful flowers and grass, green beeches
planted on the edge of the deepest oceans in my heart

from out of this sickbed
i put my heart on the floor
take it break it smash it fake it
because i don't need it no more

it's heavy, locked and loaded
and doesn't belong to me
i'm tired of myself these days
waiting for angels to be free

they would like to walk with you
feeling sorry for the other side
i can still hear them fighting
playing seek and hide

and so i just want to
surrender myself
to the deep sea
in me

stardust in a hot cup
moves like wind in water
i drink it like a stupid child
and dream that i die this way

de maan streelt mijn naakte huid
teder en zacht
net of iemand op mij wacht
daar in het hoekje van het natte dakraam
ver weg
schijnt toch zo voldaan

en al is haar blanke gloed
slechts een reflectie van
een verdoofd licht
zo veel die reflectie mij kan schenken
want ook de maan heeft meer dan één gezicht

's nachts toont ze soms bescheiden een lach
wachtend op de overname van de zon
wachtend op een nieuwe dag

left home and went on a journey of discovery
because of a voice inside told me
we are out of the dark now, beyond recovery

your touch like falling leaves, falls deep into my skin
accumulating and becoming
a mountain of magic from within

the thousand leaves, together they stand strong
my nerves feel like flying out of my body
we start singing our own song

tengo miedo de escribir
a veces yo tambien
tengo miedo
de un papel vacío
de esta manera todo parece claro
no sé expresarme
este sentimiento de un náufrago
tengo miedo de estar perdido
demasiado

hay estas dudas
tantas dudas como horas
tengo miedo de hacer lo errado?
pero tengo que
eligir, eligir entre dos
los ángeles y demonios
luchan, de formas crueles
los demonios y ángeles
entonces no quieren.. mi paz?

en un papel vacío
de repente todo parece claro
no sé expresarme
y me doy cuenta de que es el tiempo
del deseo de certeza
porque no puede vivir en miedo
escuchando a las peleas interminables
debido al blanco y *****
no más puedo vivir

don't we dare anymore
to have a simple face to face
is it really that hard for you
to open up in an empty place

because i'm located there
can be your empty place
to everyone, always fair
just rather not followed by

sheeps

a kind of addiction, a slow kind of dying
but a suicide wrapped in love and hope
powerful enough to blind your eyes
is certain not easy to ****

so hands high for the not coming reward
somewhere knowing it all, deep
we drew an unreachable line again
the inner voice simply won't let us see

ourselves, when it was all we really needed

on a honest night the darkness became oh so clear
we, decided to beat our illusional selves
now only stare at the broken mirror on the floor

realize the almighty changed into an insect
and the night into the day
this morning a new sunrise is born

how will we be able to speak
when the words won't come out
an explanation of these feelings
simply wants a few right words to shout
someone being tortured
always tells the truth

still the mouth seems closed
as it remains, a feeling of choking
the soul starts wandering again
between a billion trees, evoking
mother earth and darkness
but should they be saviours?