Thought I moved on
Felt guilty but relieved
And then I looked
Into your amber eyes
And fell for you again

It felt like a trick
But there was no evidence
Just a feeling

I guess I always expect the worst
Or maybe I’m blind

The pain
It comes and goes
One day it’s there
The next it’s gone

One day you’re good
The next you’re not
You can’t press “mute”
Do what you want

I envy the birds
How they spread their wings
And soar through the sky

Not a thought on their mind
Free to fly far away
Let the wind carry them

But here I am locked
In this small gilded cage
And my wings are clipped

Summer’s gone
You went away
Hoped to stay friends
To stay in touch

We do still talk
But not as much
It’s not the same
Oh not at all

Summer’s gone
You went away
I hate it now
It’s not the same

It’s funny how sometimes
A month can feel like a day
And a day can drag on
Like a month

You can't just assume
Things about someone
Just because they act
Just the way they do.
Just because they're different
And are not like you.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Do you think the crowd
Might think better of you?

I don’t write poems in my language
The pain becomes too real
The wound that’s left is deep
It’s better not to feel

I don’t write poems in my language
I feel detached from this ordeal
Like all this didn’t happen
But writing helps me heal

Time doesn’t heal
Unless you disinfect the wound

Why don't you look at me?
Why don't we ever talk?
We're both so similar:
Both quiet and calm.
I like to think we're smart.
We have similar views on things
And get each others jokes!

Yet we don't talk a lot.
And you don't look at me.

At break you always sit there
Staring at your phone.
All alone.
But you never look at me.
You never say hello.
Only rarely say goodbye.
But never look me in the eye.

You never text me first.
However, if you do,
You ask me what the homework was.
Is there nothing else you'd like to ask?

We spoke before, on a bus ride home.
Or at the theatre, we even sat together!
But it felt awkward and forced.
I started it, of course.

Though you have texted me once.
This summer.
You said 'hello'
And asked me how I was.

Yet we don't talk a lot.
And you don't look at me.

I din’t tell you “no”
I didn’t tell you “yes”
And now I sit alone
Now I feel like a mess

Are we drifting apart
Or is this normal
Are we falling apart
Or is this normal
Have you lost interest
Or is this normal
Will you still wait for me
Or are we done

I knew it would end
One day you had to go
We’ve run out of time
Why did it have to be so?

We met again not long ago
So we could say goodbye
Last kiss, one last embrace
I was the only one to cry

You don’t know if you’ll survive today
You don’t know if you’ll survive tomorrow
You can hope that your loved ones are safe
Pray they don’t suffer and feel no sorrow

There’s so much noise
Inside my head
The constant buzz
Unending dread

I keep on turning
In my bed
Twisting and thrashing
Thoughts run ahead

There’s so much noise
Inside my head
The constant buzz
It doesn’t end

It’s been a month
Or even more
Since you’ve been gone
Not to return

I went outside
And met someone
But they’re not you
There’s none like you

Don't get your hopes too high
Dreams tend to get shattered

I spilled the tea
The cup is empty
All that was needed
Had been said

I dread going to sleep
Because falling asleep
Means waking up in the morning
And going on with my life
I have no control over

I like you but
You are a pain.
But a familiar one.
One you can tolerate.
But why should I suffer?
You remind me of the things
That I’ve known my whole life
And want to change and to escape
This vicious cycle of childhood trauma
I guess it’s not a good relationship?
But for some reason people
Always choose to suffer.
It is all they’ve known
Their whole life.
A familiar
Pain.

You aren’t mine
And I’m not yours
There is no way -
You’ll always be hers

To be honest I don’t even care
What you’ll choose to do
To stay or to leave
Just don’t stand in the doorway

You are a horrible choice
Yet so appealing

Daydreaming of a future
Where the two of us are together
With everything going
According plan

I don’t know how it will turn out
All I have is blind hope
But realistically speaking
There is little chance

You haunt my dreams
I feel unease
But when I wake
I don’t find peace

Do I
Do I not
Should I
Should I not

I’ve lost people before
To distance, time
Plain circumstance

I never thought I’d lose you
Or so I hoped
But here we are