they see your light
luminescent and burning with pale shades of pink and orange
they love to bask in its warm glow
but they could never sustain it so far

silly girl, always mistaking her own reflection as another's glow
when will you ever learn?

perhaps when your whole world is dim enough
and all the mirrors have fogged up
you will trace that sliver of light
on your own fingertips
in the iris of your eyes

painful, but necessary for you to finally realise
you are what you seek in everything.

Thinking

I’m always thinking about

Every word you say
To me

I scrutinize, dissect, gut

Every word you say
To me

I’m thinking that maybe
I’m over-thinking

Every word you say
To me

Maybe I need

To
Just
Silence
your
voice.

The sunlight lingers -
travelling miles just to greet me

The bitterness in my coffee -
a quiet reminder to break free

The cat curling up beside me-
a silent keeper of my peace

The hues on my frames-
unfolding secrets buried inside of me

The smell in old libraries-
dusty chapters of my memories

The fragmented thoughts of my spirit-
making me want to live


The gravity of mundane things -
whispering the quiet joys of simply being

If my rage were the weather
You'd never see a day of sun again
Trapped forever in a damp darkness
Of frigid wind and acid rain

'Do or Die '
said I
'Why¿?'
queried they
'Ikigai '
I murmured in reply

You are drowning me with your negativity                                                       ­                                               
Coming off you like waves soaking me                                                               ­                    
                                                                ­                                                          
I look for the sunshine, I long to see,                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                        
feel it's rays on my face & be happy                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­ 
You are the darkness, I need the light                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
You feed off me like a vampire at night                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                       
 Slowly draining me of my energy                                                           ­                 
                                               ­                                                               
Leaving me feeling weak & empty                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                            
You were a dark soul when we met                                                              ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­               
That I couldn't help you, I regret                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                            
You've one foot in the grave & one on my chest                                                
           ­                                                                 ­                                
You've taken my all & stolen the rest                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
A dried-up flower I have become                                                           ­                                               
                                                                ­                                                  
 my beauty & scent are long gone

So far away
Far away
Far

The hyenas came
Saw and conquered
In the filthy whirlpool

Nowhere is there love
Or peace
Or fulfillment

I search for it
And so I fail
The search goes on

At the edge of a cliff
Before the gates of water
Full of silence

So far away
Far away
Far

I'm not sure I'd call it fun for it often has me undone but I'm a writer
I could bite off my own tongue and still my silence would be sung through pen and paper
1000 stories in my mind if I could only find the time to speak my truth
This is not a simple ryhme listen as it takes hold, blossoms and explodes
This is my proof
But my words come tumbling out
spilling jumbled from my mouth in perfect chaos
I sift through the disorder
As I struggle against the borders that contain me
One day I'll find the words to explain how I see

Lost in their own message hidden among the wreckage is the importance of all the lies unknown to you

My mind interrupts my day whenever it has something to say and I can't fight it

Standing alone- waiting.
And waiting.
And waiting.
And waiting.

Waiting till my hair turns gray.
Waiting till my brain begins to decay.
The amount of time I wait is minuscule compared to the time I will spend with her one day.

A heap of waste may reek at first,
but even rot makes room for roots.
What begins in decay
can still rise in bloom.
There’s still hope—
quiet, maybe,
but steady like a seed beneath the soil.

And if the ship goes under—
don’t wait for rescue.
Swim.
Even if the sea is endless,
even if hope is a whisper.
Better to reach with burning lungs
than to sink with “what if” in your chest.

The Lord,
My Lord,
The Lord,
My God,
God God,
G…O…D,
God God.
IS All,
God,
IS,
Every,
Day,
Every,
Thing!
The Lord!
My Lord!

Mark my words, 
Tear them to shreds,
Slivered, gilded and etched,
Stretched out on my sleeve,
Where all to see,

Some writ or some ditty,
Character flaws,
Dumb, dazed, flights of fancy,
For all your deaf egos, 
Let me finish a **** sentence,

Time for a feast
she looked over and exclaimed
oh my! look at that fat ugly cow
sitting here
I much prefer goats
Are vows, declarations not allowed?
I left the table sad
went outside
staring at the  butterfly
sitting on my nose

See what you will
Do what you must
The pain is still there, lingering in the dust
I lay as you walk all over me still
I lay as you leave, not daring to care
A bridge is my body, to carry you over
My tears the river, in which you are in awe over

Let it fall away—
The distractions and
The faulty imitations
Of our world—

Your love becomes
A field of peace,
Empty of all I have
Used to replace You.

It begins to rain.
Soft, red droplets,
Falling on my nose
And cleaning the 

Soot on my skin.

It is a flood of
Grace only making
The wildflowers
Bloom brighter, the
Sun burn deeper, and
My heart feel more
Real in my chest.

I breathe in, knowing
The clouds cannot
Hold His love, nor
Stop His blood from
Covering us.

Years spent by,
Mirage of image.
Decency of none.
It is said good man do nothing,
Because the chains of lies.
It is said it is impossible to,
Because there must be cries.
You know nothing,
Devilish whisper,
I am now something.
I have a dream,
To be nothing.

Reading is
the hardest thing

It is work of experiencing
value of existence

and its high and low

So
as we get older

we distance ourselves from reading

and only a few

still fall in love with reading
more and more
as the days go by

Spring, summer, fall, and winter

Oh! Reading,
a privilege unique to humans.

Be ready to say "goodbye"
When you have the guts to say "hello"

I wake up to,
the cool wind that gently blows
as the fog hides the sun that glows.

I wake up to,
the smell of jasmine that blooms everyday
and to see the colourful flowers that never betray.

I wake up to,
the birds chirping,
to the leaves that sway like the girl I met the other day.

I wake up now to,
my beautiful girlfriend
whom even on her worst days
is no less than the most beautiful flowers.

I wake up to,
next to the most gorgeous girl,
to be with her the next life I shall pray.

I wake up to,
spread love, not hate.

I wake up to,
make the most of these beautiful days,
and to accept death is as crucial as birth.

I wake up to,
realise that all the drama shall play
but when comes the day,
we all shall lay in a grave.

When your heart is feeling tired and full in all its parts,
It's me that will help you, baby, I'll carry your heart.
When your heart is feeling heavy and it's full of a load to bear,
It's me, love, I'll carry your heart with so much care.
When your mind is racing and you don't know which way to go,
It's me, Ray, I'll carry your heart to lessen your load.
When you struggle with your decisions, your heart should take,
It's me, Ray, I'll help. I'll carry your heart when you need a break.
When you just need to know that you're truly not alone within your heart,
Baby, it's me, I'll always carry your heart as long as you let me; we won't break apart.

i think the
irony

befits such an
ending -

you,
settled

me,
altered

permanently
unsettled

a trace of
you forever

running through
my veins

If you're askin' yourself, "How do you know?"
Then that's your answer, the answer is "No"
You know when you're in love.
It's unmistakable.
Undeniable.
So, if you have to ask yourself if you're in love,
then you're probably not.

i want to peel your skin back
and reveal your deepest sweetness.
to look at your veins
and memorize their paths.
maybe then i’d understand
why you are so rough on the outside.
it takes a lot of work,
digging your fingernails into the flesh,
pulling and pulling until you are bare.
but it is all worth it;
to visit your center,
to break past what conceals you,
and take you apart
slice by slice.

आर आर रॉयल भ्रम भये
एल एस जी लूटा मैच
जीता क्रेज क्रिकेट का
यही था कल का सच।
अच्छी थी व्यवस्था
अच्छा शाम माहौल
एक तरफ चीयर लीडर्स
एक तरफ हल्ला बोल।
दो-चार फोटो, दो-चार सेल्फी
खरीदो भूगड़ा भी तो लगे जेब हल्की
ज्यों -ज्यों घूमे कैमरा
भीड़ संभाले अपना रोल
दाल-बाटी, चूरमा हवा उचारे बोल।
एस एम एस स्टेडियम
दमके ज्यों दुल्हन नूर
मोबाइल की टॉर्च  "ओन"कर-कर
के लगा भीड़ देख रही कोई हूर।।


Saw the RR Vs LSG match at SMS Stadium Jaipur by going at stadium and expressed the feelings as about the ambience.

अचानक
अप्रत्याशित
कुदरत का कहर
जब तब , कभी टूटता है।
यह सबसे पहले
नास्तिक का गुरूर तोड़ता है।
आस्तिक फिर भी
दुःख के बावजूद
अपने मन को समझाता है।
वह जल्दी से
जीवन को
पुनर्व्यवस्थित
करने में जुट जाता है।
कुदरत के कहर को
सहने के अलावा
क्या हम सब के पास
कोई चारा है ?
आदमी तो बस बेचारा है !
है कि नहीं ?
जीवन में कुदरत से
तालमेल बनाकर चलो ,
ताकि कुदरत के
प्रकोप और कहर से बच सको।
२०/०४/२०२५.

100 years
Not enough
To settle into
Wrinkling bag-

No sooner wisdom
Calms the mind

We are found out

And gone

i don’t know why i haven’t grown tolerance to this pain. this habit. i’m totally self aware. i don’t want it to end. it still hurts just as much as it did a year ago. we were better a year ago. this aches in every way i never wanted it to. i don’t know why i can’t let go of something i was never even fully trusted to hold onto. it’s an illusion. why do you always leave the door open when you leave? while we’re at it, could you tell me just how many shared laughs we need to complete our prophecy?
& honey, wait,
is that really what you mean?
please baby,
just ******* spell it out for me.
I never thought i could be this tired. this weak. you’ve left me as a fragment of the woman i used to be.

I'd walk &/or have
2 parked train cars
ready for your
drunk ***—

Your scant scabby lawn
made such a sight but
you're yet to see my bedroom
so I'm free of judgment
see

all clothes a mess or
clean myself up
I will there, sometime
&
that might be that

&
that is too gooey good
for me.

I don’t have the 𝗘𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗴𝘆
I don’t have the 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲
But you’re so young, you’re at your prime

It will fly right before your eyes
What’s next?
Soon you’ll say I don't have the 𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗱