******* I can't do this
I can't love him and watch the clock
tick by the limited amount of seconds I have with him
I've tried warning him
I've tried walking away but he has always followed
Any girl would **** for a guy as stubborn and reluctant as he is
Glue doesn't begin to cover our relationship
It's like we have been stitched together
Each individual binding bringing us closer
I know this won't blow over easily
I need him
I need his quick wit and his coldness
I need to know that I am the only one who can melt him
But I know that's not the case
He's a closed book
I'm the bookmark that marks the place where he left
I just worry he will forget me
Leave me on the shelf until he needs a reminder of where he left off
He was my shoulder
But I got too close
and cut myself on the blade
Maybe we are meant to short lived
And that's why you
don't get your hopes up
It only leads to getting let down
Because what goes up
must come down

“If I could go back and do it all different" she whispered while her voice began to shake "would anything have changed or would you still have left?”

He sighed and said "Things happen. Tides change, people transform, feelings manifest." He looked her in the eyes and wiped the tear falling down her cheek and continued "Whether by the hand of God or your own. We were never meant to last. I wasn't what you needed and you're not what I need either. I want you, oh god how I want you, but the world stops for no one and we need to move onto bigger and better things."

Instead of spending nights
filled with laughter
and the taste of a strangers tongue
I'm stuck attempting to remember the taste of you
When did alcohol and drugs become better companions than people?
When I should be confident
and careless
I am insecure and belittled
Where did the years go?
When did happiness become a fantasy instead of a lifestyle?
Teenage years were supposed to be
full of stupid mistakes
But somehow
I'm the only stupid mistake

You should be here with me
My heart is as empty as the side of the bed that you used to sleep on
And my life's crashing harder than the waves on the shore like when you first kissed me
And I'm falling harder and faster into loneliness than I was when I fell for you
And I know there's no stopping this
But you should be next to me
Kissing each freckle on my arm and tracing "I love you" into my palm because each letter deserved it's own recognition for it made up a larger picture
And you should be next to me
With my head leaning onto the very shoulder I spent entire nights crying into
You should be beside me
But I guess this was all besides the point
And now you're next in line for a new girl
I just wish you would give me a next chance

I fell for you
But you stood your ground

I chased after you
But you hid your feelings from me

I opened myself to you
But you shut me out

But the main difference
between you and I?

I'm still here for you
But you're already gone

You never know
How truly lonely you are
Until nothing's going right
And you have no one to turn to

You were my missing piece
but I was just a spare part
You were my safe haven
but I was just a roof over your head
You are my everything
now and back then
but I was just a thing you needed
every now and then
Maybe next time I'll read the fine print