Like a candle we all shrink away,
and are left in a pool of our own mess,
but I collected up the wax,
to make the broken things new,
and that's when my candle holder shattered,
and you can't fix things like broken glass,
the same way you can with old used wax,
it has to stay broken,
because you can't mend all broken things.

Almost jumped off that bridge,
sadly I wish I did.

instead I found some relief in *** cigs,
and used to help me forget,

I held my breath to calm down,
until tomorrow came around.

_________

shake, cold, ****

Make me believe these forgeries spitting off your tongue,
thinking I am someone to purely award you my love.
when you're nothing more then trash

no, stop, crys,

"Make me?"
make you not take the vial of my youth, you hold it,
worthless to me, but worth everything you still hold over me.

years, passed, two,

Make the memories go away,
of all the things from that awful day,
you hold nothing and everything over me,

black-out, leg-spaz, cry-now,

Make me lose control of myself,
"do you really know yourself?
what is happening to you?"

count, tiles, breathe,

Makes me know the length and width
of every ceiling, every floor, every wall, of every room,
I'm stuck inside of as I struggle to just breathe,

in, and, out,

makes me wonder why I can't do these simple things,
makes me remember all my other flaws and mistakes,
makes it even harder to breathe,

please, help, me,

Make me look someone down,
and beg with my eyes,
for help, for something

giving, trust, hard,

makes it look easy when its not,
I can say it all that I want,
but do I mean it?.

Talk, to, me,

Make me tell you what is wrong,
tell me what to say,
tell me its okay when its not,

it's, not, okay,

make me argue with you,
make me have to tell you the truth,
my past and pain,

you're, just, helping,

Make me help myself,
make me learn to do things I need on my own,
Make me not feel bad for getting help.

you, did, good

Make sure I tell myself,
"because no one else is there to tell you,
how good you did for getting through,"

I, Make, Me

**make myself do the things I need,
I no longer rely on you or anyone for these,
I'm not a child anymore sweetie,

__
stop.

don't give in,
don't let them,
make your worst dreams,
come out,

shout,

as loud as you want.
as loud as you need.
but make sure you,

stop.

before the demands on the inside
**get released,

The Garden Buddha
sits
between
the
Rosemary, Dahlia and Boronia
fragrances in the breeze

Welcoming Accepting
the sun, the rain,
the star lite night sky
fierce frozen mornings
the snow when it comes,
the spiders, the slugs, the mosquitoes, the flies

Garden Buddha
quarter smile
whether or not
I sit beside him,
Unattached to all he sees
a study in the 7 Dharmas.

The Garden Buddha
being is all he knows.

While I worry
about this and that
fearful thoughts in the days and nights
all attached
to
love and loss,
fears and triumphs
births and debts,
what people think
will poems trend
whether there is food on the table
whether work will extend
whether or not I am part of the latest fashion trend.

The Garden Buddha
doesn't care or not care
about any of those things
his eyes
never waver
they always look inside out
outside in.

The Garden Buddha
stone of course
his smile
never goes away.

In the end, though,
nature will always have the last say
I can accept it
or not
Be filled with longing
suffering or accepting

life on life's terms

The Garden Buddha
will be here
long after
my last
dying day.

•

Where are you my love?
This soul is looking for you,
My heart is crying,
I'm praying everything's fine,
God bless you, I miss you lots.





with love <3


© Earl Jane
♥ E.J.C.S.

If it was meant to be
Then you two would be together
There's a reason why you are not
Move on